RE: How Often Do You Switch? (Full Version)

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Saffron -> RE: How Often Do You Switch? (2/10/2010 9:00:15 PM)

I submit to Raven.  I dominate Conor.  I find with friends we meet that the dynamic with someone depends on the person.  I feel one way with some people, and another way with other people.

I don't feel a revolving do one/do more of the other thing.  It's very dependent upon the dynamic with an individual person. 

~Saffron



FlamingRedhead -> RE: How Often Do You Switch? (2/10/2010 9:37:31 PM)

As far as D/s, I mostly favor being submissive, though I'm sure some ex's would disagree. As far as S&M, I enjoy topping and bottoming almost equally often. It's usual for me to go to the dungeon and top my submissive play partner, and then turn around and bottom for someone there or wait until I see Daddy. I realized I wanted to do both pretty much as soon as I started looking into this stuff.



allthatjaz -> RE: How Often Do You Switch? (2/11/2010 1:45:22 AM)

The more I read the switch forums the more I realize that S and my relationship is very unusual.
It seems much more common for a switch not to want a switch as a partner. Submissive for a dominant but goes out tops other submissives.



CarrieO -> RE: How Often Do You Switch? (2/12/2010 5:09:32 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: allthatjaz

It seems much more common for a switch not to want a switch as a partner. 



This is one of those times I'm thankful I'm not so common.  The quote above has been rolling around in my head ever since I read it.  I think, unforunately, for many people who identify as a switch it's true.  I also think it's more acceptable and comfortable to be one or the other...people for the most part like to have things clearly defined and neatly boxed.  Not everyone, though.....some of us are unboxable.[;)]

quote:

ORIGINAL: sweetsub1957
How many of you mostly favor one side of the kneel or the other, or do you enjoy both equally often?  When did you realize you were a switch?


I favor whatever side fits...depending on the partner. In the end, that's what it comes down to...what dynamic works best given the parties involved.  For me atleast.  That's what I find attractive about switch men...those who are really open to exploring both sides because it's in their nature and not just willing to top or bottom as needed simply to please another. 

I'm a gemini, though, so the duality just makes sense for me.

When?  After trying to play the part of a good little submissive because it's what appeared to be expected and more accepted.  Going back to the gemini/duality thing, I got to the point where the desire to fit a mold created by someone else became painful and unfulfilling...you can only ignore a part of yourself for so long. 
The other important thing I learned to accept is that I'm still growing/evolving/becoming Me. 



allthatjaz -> RE: How Often Do You Switch? (2/14/2010 8:47:02 AM)

CarrieO I love that word 'unboxable'!



CarrieO -> RE: How Often Do You Switch? (2/14/2010 5:39:11 PM)

Thank you!  [:)]




sunshinemiss -> RE: How Often Do You Switch? (2/15/2010 7:19:04 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: allthatjaz

CarrieO I love that word 'unboxable'!



ME TOO! ME TOO!



bdspirit -> RE: How Often Do You Switch? (2/17/2010 12:12:48 PM)

Interesting reading the responses.  I think I started out 60/40 dom in my early 20's and have been migrating more toward sub, especially in my 40's though I have no idea why - perhaps age, perhaps just getting in touch with me as I evolve. 

In terms of time spent, my wife and I have had to build a dynamic that works for us.  She was primarily vanilla - I was fairly BDSM/D's oriented throughout my life.  For many couples, it seems that this doesn't work over the long haul - for us it has (with allot of work and a few close calls).  We actually go through semi-formal cycles of 30-90 days where our relative roles switch.  In one cycle, she plays the Domme while in the other cycle, we move back toward a vanilla relationship with sub play.  We found that she needs time to get her head/heart into a Domme space and I increasingly like the feeling of 24/7 sub space.  When she's out of Domme mode (which is critical to her happiness and well being), we kind of go from vanilla to her playing the submissive but it's primarily focused only on the bedroom - not a lifestyle. 

One couple, one approach but we've never been happier.

Bound



Hathalud -> RE: How Often Do You Switch? (2/24/2010 6:05:05 PM)

I was a child when I had my first sub urges (I am not saying I was molested or anything like that, but that I was sub from early on). When I was a teenager, I started having more switchy-fantasies....

These days for me, I have to find a balance between whether I'm being Domish outside of the bedroom or sub.... If my life has been subjecting me to other people bossing me around and not having any sense of control in regard to what is going on around me, I'll be a dom in the bedroom. If I'm in too much control of what's going on in my day to day life, I'm subish. But, also all of this stipulates that I have the outlets to be subbie or Dommy to... If the only person I am seeing is strictly submissive, then that sadly locks me into a dominant role... though I go online to relieve that inner burden.

I know I've heard many say that inside every sub is a cruel Dom. LOL.... And in general it is true, though there are some like my imp that have a hard time domming at all. I hope that helps you understand some switches more.



afkarr -> RE: How Often Do You Switch? (2/25/2010 8:51:27 PM)

I rarely switch. My predominant mode is submissive to men; I only top women occassionally when I get this wild urge.



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