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How Often Do You Switch? - 1/4/2010 8:25:53 PM

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I'm not really familiar with switching, so I have a question. How many of you mostly favor one side of the kneel or the other, or do you enjoy both equally often? When did you realize you were a switch? Just curious. Thank you so much in advance for any and all replies.

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RE: How Often Do You Switch? - 1/4/2010 11:35:07 PM

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The 'default' in my relationship is that I'm on top. However, whenever the desire strikes either of us, it switches. I enjoy them equally, but the reality is no, I do not spend equal ammounts of time on top and bottom. As long as my needs from both sides are being met, it doesn't matter which side I'm on more often. I first identified as sub. My switchy side started by my trying, as an experiment, domming my bf. As it happened, I had a ton of fun. We kind of went from there.

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RE: How Often Do You Switch? - 1/5/2010 12:28:12 AM

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Not as much as I'd like to.

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RE: How Often Do You Switch? - 1/5/2010 9:49:45 AM

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Early on, I favored the submissive end of being a switch though as time goes on I find that I'm moving towards the other end of the spectrum. In the past several months that submission isn't there so who knows how my identity as a switch will eventually balance itself out.

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RE: How Often Do You Switch? - 1/5/2010 10:13:02 AM

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~FR~
Thank you all for the replies. :)

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In lowering yourself to talking behind my back, you're perfectly positioned to kiss my ass.

An it harm none, do what ye wilt.

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RE: How Often Do You Switch? - 1/5/2010 11:41:26 PM

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How Often Do You Switch?

~wiggles 'air cigar', duck walks back & forth with other hand tucked behind back~

As often as I can . . . . .

Seriously, tho', it depends on the other person, the situation, my mood, etc etc .. . . One constant seems to be the more I'm one, the more I yearn for some of the other. I tend to be kinda dominant in my day-to-day, & submitting is very attractive & powerful for me. But when I'm doing a lot of bottoming, I get to wanting to do more topping. & that cycle strongly plays out in my sadomasochistic stuff, tho' I have a 'baseline' desire to hurt & be hurt . . . . .

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RE: How Often Do You Switch? - 1/6/2010 2:21:24 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: DemonKia

How Often Do You Switch?

~wiggles 'air cigar', duck walks back & forth with other hand tucked behind back~

As often as I can . . . . .

Seriously, tho', it depends on the other person, the situation, my mood, etc etc .. . . One constant seems to be the more I'm one, the more I yearn for some of the other. I tend to be kinda dominant in my day-to-day, & submitting is very attractive & powerful for me. But when I'm doing a lot of bottoming, I get to wanting to do more topping. & that cycle strongly plays out in my sadomasochistic stuff, tho' I have a 'baseline' desire to hurt & be hurt . . . . .

So, it's kind of like if You don't have both, You're missing out, which is why You're a switch......You want & need it all. I can understand that..........

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"That's not just a chip on her shoulder, that's the whole potato!" ~Lady Angelika~

In lowering yourself to talking behind my back, you're perfectly positioned to kiss my ass.

An it harm none, do what ye wilt.

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RE: How Often Do You Switch? - 1/6/2010 2:38:03 PM

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This is one of those questions that, however well meaning, shows a certain lack of understanding.

Although I see myself as primarily submissive, in real life as to what I do, I mostly domme. This is because there are so many more good male subs as opposed to good (unattached) male doms in my age group. And yes, that is a major generalization.

The point is, how I am is determined by who I am with. If someone is sub to me I domme them, if they are dom to me I submit. But I submit rarely.

I imagine this does not help much. It all depends on the chemistry and dynamic of the individual relationship.

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RE: How Often Do You Switch? - 1/6/2010 3:04:30 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: daintydimples
This is one of those questions that, however well meaning, shows a certain lack of understanding.

That's why I'm asking. I'm not a switch, but I am trying to understand. I'm sorry if I offended anyone.

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"That's not just a chip on her shoulder, that's the whole potato!" ~Lady Angelika~

In lowering yourself to talking behind my back, you're perfectly positioned to kiss my ass.

An it harm none, do what ye wilt.

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RE: How Often Do You Switch? - 1/10/2010 10:11:04 AM

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I switch... spontaneously. It could very well be multiple times within a day. That's all given I have the right switchy partner to play with.

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RE: How Often Do You Switch? - 1/10/2010 6:29:14 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: sweetsub1957

I'm not really familiar with switching, so I have a question. How many of you mostly favor one side of the kneel or the other, or do you enjoy both equally often? When did you realize you were a switch? Just curious. Thank you so much in advance for any and all replies.

Are you thinking of joining the ranks, so to speak?

_____________________________

Fake the heat and scratch the itch
Skinned up knees and salty lips
Let go it's harder holding on
One more trip and I'll be gone

~~ Stone Temple Pilots

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RE: How Often Do You Switch? - 1/11/2010 1:12:59 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Level

quote:

ORIGINAL: sweetsub1957

I'm not really familiar with switching, so I have a question. How many of you mostly favor one side of the kneel or the other, or do you enjoy both equally often? When did you realize you were a switch? Just curious. Thank you so much in advance for any and all replies.

Are you thinking of joining the ranks, so to speak?

lol Well, I guess I'm just confused right now. I have a switch play partner that I would see every once in quite awhile. I am normally totally sub, but I would service Top him too if he wanted. Now that I finally talked him into using a safeword, I went bananas with what he likes the last couple times & found out I really got into it. I'm still pretty much all sub, but sometimes Topping seems to be okay too. So I'm trying to figure out if I'm a switch, or if I just like to service Top to please him.....whether I got into the Topping for myself, or if I really got into it those times because he got more into what I was doing for him, because I really got into making him happy. So I guess I just used a lot of words to say pretty much nothing.....

_____________________________

Member: Lance's Fag Hags.

"That's not just a chip on her shoulder, that's the whole potato!" ~Lady Angelika~

In lowering yourself to talking behind my back, you're perfectly positioned to kiss my ass.

An it harm none, do what ye wilt.

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RE: How Often Do You Switch? - 1/11/2010 4:16:42 AM

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Naw, I wouldn't say it was "for nothing"... just use all those words/thoughts to help answer your question, sweet. Keep in mind, there is no wrong answer, also.

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Fake the heat and scratch the itch
Skinned up knees and salty lips
Let go it's harder holding on
One more trip and I'll be gone

~~ Stone Temple Pilots

(in reply to sweetsub1957)

RE: How Often Do You Switch? - 1/11/2010 11:06:19 AM

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Thanks Level.

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Member: Lance's Fag Hags.

"That's not just a chip on her shoulder, that's the whole potato!" ~Lady Angelika~

In lowering yourself to talking behind my back, you're perfectly positioned to kiss my ass.

An it harm none, do what ye wilt.

(in reply to Level)

RE: How Often Do You Switch? - 1/12/2010 3:39:24 AM

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From: Chico, Nor-Cali
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Perhaps it would help to clearly separate out the various spectra that 'switch' applies to: D/s; top/bottom; sadomasochist; others that are escaping me right now . .. . .

'Switches' can switch along any of these, any combination, as few or as many as flip their respective wigs.

So, for instance, one could be submissively oriented but still switch along the top/bottom & sadomasochist spectra, they just need to find a domly inclined type who is also comfortable / desiring switching along the top/bottom & s/m spectra to get a 'good fit' . . . .. That sorta thing . .. .

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RE: How Often Do You Switch? - 1/12/2010 1:24:48 PM

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Ah, I thought of some other potentially 'independent' switchable kinks . . . .

Fetishes. Fetishes can be switchable & can be independent (or nearly so) of the other switchable orientations / desires / positions. Toe-sucking, for instance, I like to both have my toes sucked on & to suck on toes. Or cross-dressing, I like to cross-dress & I like partners to cross-dress, at least once in a while . . . ...

& bondage is another switchable activity, that can be independent of the other orientations. A dom, for instance, could enjoy the sensations of being tied into a body harness by a sub, no restriction of movement but for the aesthetics & sensual pleasure of it . . . .

I'm quite liking the notions of 'dominant bottoming' & 'submissive topping' these days, I find them useful . . . . . .

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RE: How Often Do You Switch? - 1/28/2010 9:12:46 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: MargueriteV

Not as much as I'd like to.

I know the feeling

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RE: How Often Do You Switch? - 1/30/2010 1:25:46 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: sweetsub1957

I'm not really familiar with switching, so I have a question. How many of you mostly favor one side of the kneel or the other, or do you enjoy both equally often? When did you realize you were a switch? Just curious. Thank you so much in advance for any and all replies.

I'm primarily dominant and only submit to my spouse rarely for a nice change of pace.

I found out the word for it when Iwas about 30, but had been being on both sides of the kneel since my pre-teens.

Edited to add:

I realized I only answered this from a D/s perspective because that's where my mind was just now.... top/bottom-wise, I'm more a bottom and only like to top for certain things at certain times. Same for timespan as stated above.

< Message edited by RumpusParable -- 1/30/2010 1:27:43 PM >

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RE: How Often Do You Switch? - 1/31/2010 9:31:21 PM

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Thank you for all the answers. :)

_____________________________

Member: Lance's Fag Hags.

"That's not just a chip on her shoulder, that's the whole potato!" ~Lady Angelika~

In lowering yourself to talking behind my back, you're perfectly positioned to kiss my ass.

An it harm none, do what ye wilt.

(in reply to RumpusParable)

RE: How Often Do You Switch? - 2/1/2010 2:19:33 AM

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I am a dominant switch. My partner is a dominant switch. He can't actually push my submissive button because I don't have one and neither does he. What he can do is entrap me, push me, abuse me (obviously consensually) and momentarily enslave me within a scene and what I can do is the same with him but both of us must be on our guard when dominating the other one because things could change at any given moment!!! Dominating him isn't easy. Its risky, its raw, its exciting and sometimes bloody nerve wracking and when I do go down that route I have to be better than good, I have to be at my absolute best

Sounds complicated and exhausting but its not. The kind of relationship we have is perfect for us because it gives us so much energy.
We are both equals in that neither of us have a higher or lower status within our complex relationship. Steve is a control freak in every day life but he needs a woman who can and will stand up to him without hesitation. He loves me the way I am and I love him the way he is.

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