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nephandi -> RE: Looking for oral sub (1/6/2010 10:51:16 PM)
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Greetings
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To answer that, I need to define "problem". There isn't a problem with it in that anyone should try and stop him. However, if he posts where everyone can see and comment, he needs to accept and be able to handle that it's going to rub people the wrong way and people will point out that it's going to decrease his odds dramatically. That he is a seeking married women preferably but doesn't mention that openness and honesty is important is a bit of a red flag for me as well. I wonder if he will insist that the husband know what is going on or if he will be perfectly happy to deceive the man. However rude it might be on my part, I do judge that harshly.
What I do not understand is how one person's preference can rub pepole the wrong way? It is not like he is forcing anyone, or saying everyone should do this, he is just stating his preferences, how can that be insulting. I am not trying to argue here, I am just trying to understand. To me that is a bit like if someone say I would like to talk with pepole who like my favorite movie Dracula the 1992 version and someone get insulted as they think the 1933 version is better. How can one be insulted over a preference?
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It's true that it is easy to hurt people and, overall, I agree with you. However, I tend to go with what response I think will work best. Sometimes I feel a "tougher" response is best, other times I'm more inclined to pull back on the reigns. Why is hard to say, it just depends on the feel on the post. Perhaps in this one it's a matter of he doesn't strike me as being concerned for the potential's feelings so I expect him to be able to handle his own emotions when not coddled.
I understand what you are saying. But personally I like to err on the side of caution. Sometimes very clumsy ways of expressing one self is a sign of uncertainty, or perhaps the unfeeling for the candidate is part of the kink. When I was Aswad's slave we often talked about getting into contact with someone who could just come in, use me for sexual pleasure and treat it with as much feeling as if they had borrowed a CD or a kitchen appliance from Aswad. The objectification and the no feelings involved would be a big part of the kink, and what was attractive about it. I agree that the original poster do sound like a jerk, but I always like to give pepole the benefit of the doubt.
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Lemme know if you need help with that...
I can distract him while you run away with the components. P
I wish you well
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