New Master searches

Collarspace Discussion Forums

Home Login Search

New Master searches

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Submissive >> New Master searches

Page: [1]

Login

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

New Master searches - 1/8/2010 4:18:16 PM

Ironhead

Posts: 4
Joined: 1/8/2010
Status: offline

When looking for a New Master/ Dom Couple, what do you look for. I would expect that there are many people out there that think they are a dom, and use that to stance to talk to every Sub on here. I cannot believe that is effective, I would expect a great deal of trust building and information being exchanged. A Dom is not a Dom when he is the only one that he can Dom, the sub has the most control.

Post #: 1

RE: New Master searches - 1/8/2010 4:27:26 PM

UniqueRaven

Posts: 1237
Joined: 9/30/2009
From: Austin, TX
Status: offline

Just like any dating site, what people are looking for varies from individual to invidual. That includes submissives.

The biggies i think i look for are:

Employed
Not living with parents/roommate/in a homeless shelter
Within 10 years of my age
Has recent and reasonable photos
Doesn't lead off the first email with "Kneel Bitch!" or some such other command
Doesn't type in textspeak
Has some sort of personal philosophy about his Dominance - in other words not that he thinks there is a "right" or a "wrong" way, but he has "HIS" way and that's most important.

Also - that he has a profile in the first place. i'm assuming the reason you don't have one is since you're still working on it or some such thing.

i've been around this long enough that i can see through it pretty quickly when a guy is using the guise of "Dom" just to see if he can make me perform for him. i'm able to excuse myself from any conversation as quickly as necessary. And i do my best to help other submissive women learn the tell-tale signals as well.

But really, there's a lid for every pot, so to speak, so people are just that - people. Even Doms and subs. Mistakes are made, and you learn and grow, and that's the best anyone can do - and be happy.

_____________________________

"My life has no purpose, no direction, no aim, no meaning, and yet I'm happy. I can't figure it out. What am I doing right?" ~Snoopy (Charles Schultz)

My blog is at http://takinghishand.wordpress.com

(in reply to Ironhead)

Post #: 2

RE: New Master searches - 1/8/2010 4:32:02 PM

windchymes

Posts: 9410
Joined: 4/18/2005
Status: offline

The key isn't what you "look for", it's what you "are" and what they "are". You just have to talk to a lot of potential partners, be yourself, be real and look for what's real. Some people you just click with, most you won't. It takes a lot of time and patience. Unfortunately, there's no magic formula.

_____________________________

You know it's going to be a GOOD blow job when she puts a Breathe Right strip on first.

Pick-up artists and garbage men should trade names.

(in reply to UniqueRaven)

Post #: 3

RE: New Master searches - 1/8/2010 4:35:44 PM

Ironhead

Posts: 4
Joined: 1/8/2010
Status: offline

Sorry, we are under mzpriss, the board wouldnt let us login as us, so this was the easiest way I could post. Also interested in where most subs would look, It might be better at how to spot the 12 year boy fakes :-)

(in reply to windchymes)

Post #: 4

RE: New Master searches - 1/8/2010 4:37:15 PM

UniqueRaven

Posts: 1237
Joined: 9/30/2009
From: Austin, TX
Status: offline

Have no idea about "where most subs would look." Could you explain that question a bit?

_____________________________

"My life has no purpose, no direction, no aim, no meaning, and yet I'm happy. I can't figure it out. What am I doing right?" ~Snoopy (Charles Schultz)

My blog is at http://takinghishand.wordpress.com

(in reply to Ironhead)

Post #: 5

RE: New Master searches - 1/8/2010 4:40:02 PM

Ironhead

Posts: 4
Joined: 1/8/2010
Status: offline

Would look for Doms, I cannot imagine its online... but it could be, would figure that there are too many traps to fall into

(in reply to UniqueRaven)

Post #: 6

RE: New Master searches - 1/8/2010 4:43:01 PM

UniqueRaven

Posts: 1237
Joined: 9/30/2009
From: Austin, TX
Status: offline

i primarily look online, since i'm not a casual player and don't fit in to a lot of the clubs in my area. Just a difference in style, everyone has what they enjoy.

There are traps everywhere. One of the reasons i don't go to clubs is because when i've gone as a single sub/slave woman i've received a lot of pressure to play with men i don't know that well. Also people trying to "fix me up" with Doms, etc. - just not something i do, i'm a private person. Again, everyone is different, this just doesn't work for me.

Every submissive and every Dom is different. If you're trying to find the secret lost oasis of willing submissive women, i'm sorry to report it doesn't exist (well maybe on Gor).

_____________________________

"My life has no purpose, no direction, no aim, no meaning, and yet I'm happy. I can't figure it out. What am I doing right?" ~Snoopy (Charles Schultz)

My blog is at http://takinghishand.wordpress.com

(in reply to Ironhead)

Post #: 7

RE: New Master searches - 1/8/2010 4:52:12 PM

Ironhead

Posts: 4
Joined: 1/8/2010
Status: offline

Yes, agreed.. As far from hardcore lifestylers ourselves, I would have though the local scene would have been the best. But thats a very good point.

(in reply to UniqueRaven)

Post #: 8

RE: New Master searches - 1/8/2010 5:12:56 PM

littlewonder

Posts: 15659
Status: offline

The same thing I search for in a partner...compatibility, dominant personality, physical attraction, honesty, integrity, intelligence, blah blah blah

(in reply to Ironhead)

Post #: 9

RE: New Master searches - 1/8/2010 5:22:07 PM

AquaticSub

Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline

I look for someone I get along with. So for me, that's a gamer-geek who isn't a jackass, isn't threatened by their girl being taking martial arts training or having a life that takes her away sometimes, understands having a crazy family and loving them anyway, likes tattoos, wants to have kids and is also a dominant whose style of dominance works with me.

Really, none of those are more important than any others. They've got to be a dom but if they are a dom who hates tattooed girls or doesn't want kids I don't care how great a dom they are. They won't work as my dominant.

< Message edited by AquaticSub -- 1/8/2010 5:23:10 PM >

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to Ironhead)

Post #: 10

RE: New Master searches - 1/8/2010 5:23:03 PM

rockspider

Posts: 633
Joined: 9/26/2009
Status: offline

Try Wallmarts, third shelf on the left

(in reply to Ironhead)

Post #: 11

RE: New Master searches - 1/8/2010 5:23:12 PM

DesFIP

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline

I sought someone I was compatible with, similar morals and ethical values, similar attitude towards offspring. Kinkwise I also sought someone whose primary interest was in the same stuff I was interested in.

8 years in, our major incompatibility is tv. He likes CSI and those sorts of things, I won't watch them because graphically depicted crime runs through my mind and prevents me from sleeping. Especially special victims stuff.

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!

(in reply to littlewonder)

Post #: 12

RE: New Master searches - 1/8/2010 5:25:02 PM

windchymes

Posts: 9410
Joined: 4/18/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

I sought someone I was compatible with, similar morals and ethical values, similar attitude towards offspring. Kinkwise I also sought someone whose primary interest was in the same stuff I was interested in.

8 years in, our major incompatibility is tv. He likes CSI and those sorts of things, I won't watch them because graphically depicted crime runs through my mind and prevents me from sleeping. Especially special victims stuff.

Well, at least that one's really easy to fix!

_____________________________

You know it's going to be a GOOD blow job when she puts a Breathe Right strip on first.

Pick-up artists and garbage men should trade names.

(in reply to DesFIP)

Post #: 13

RE: New Master searches - 1/8/2010 5:32:15 PM

rockspider

Posts: 633
Joined: 9/26/2009
Status: offline

Jokes aside. The best result i have had has been by being aware in the local area. My current playpartner I found in the local supermarked so the above joke is based in reality.

(in reply to rockspider)

Post #: 14

RE: New Master searches - 1/8/2010 7:15:00 PM

MasterSlaveLA

Posts: 3991
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Ironhead

When looking for a New Master/ Dom Couple, what do you look for.

A fondness for Nachos, of course!

_____________________________

It's only kinky the first time!!!

(in reply to Ironhead)

Post #: 15

RE: New Master searches - 1/8/2010 7:29:57 PM

osf

Posts: 3288
Joined: 10/19/2009
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: UniqueRaven

i primarily look online, since i'm not a casual player and don't fit in to a lot of the clubs in my area. Just a difference in style, everyone has what they enjoy.

There are traps everywhere. One of the reasons i don't go to clubs is because when i've gone as a single sub/slave woman i've received a lot of pressure to play with men i don't know that well. Also people trying to "fix me up" with Doms, etc. - just not something i do, i'm a private person. Again, everyone is different, this just doesn't work for me.

Every submissive and every Dom is different. If you're trying to find the secret lost oasis of willing submissive women, i'm sorry to report it doesn't exist (well maybe on Gor).

even the clubs and munches are mostly once a week top/bottom players

mast is the best group for that, but they are mostly couples, but m/s orientated

_____________________________

all around nice guy and creative misogynist

i'm not very skilled so i just hit harder

i want a woman to make into the woman she never wanted to become

(in reply to UniqueRaven)

Post #: 16

RE: New Master searches - 1/8/2010 8:44:18 PM

trueshadow

Posts: 388
Joined: 1/1/2005
Status: offline

I've met Dommes on-line, but most of the time, even if they are local, it doesn't work out. Sacramento has a fairly active scene, and, of course, it's not THAT far to San Francisco which has probably one of the best scenes in the country.

I prefer to meet people at parties or munches or whatever. If you keep going to them, eventually you'll find someone who is interested in playing with you, if not marrying you...

(in reply to osf)

Post #: 17

RE: New Master searches - 1/9/2010 12:29:40 AM

myotherself

Posts: 7157
Joined: 3/9/2006
From: The cold bit of the UK
Status: offline

~fr~

I've met people mostly from online, but would hope that people I meet would want to get involved in going to the local munches with me.

_____________________________

There's nowt so queer as folk

(in reply to trueshadow)

Post #: 18

RE: New Master searches - 1/9/2010 12:42:09 AM

reelgoodsub

Posts: 2
Joined: 1/8/2010
Status: offline

I've never got involved in the local 'scene' at all, mostly because I'm really not comfortable as a submissive going to an event alone, and my Dominant(s) generally are not available when such events happen.

So all my searching is done online. I've been doing the online thing for probably close on 9 years now, I've got quite good at picking out the idiots and pretenders and wannabes ... I'm not claiming to never make mistakes, but they usually slip up sometime in the first 2 or 3 emails, so you don't waste a whole heap of time on them.

I actually really quite like having the opportunity to correspond in written format, it gives me time to think and consider, and I'm normally quite cautious about what I reveal about myself, and even when I would give out an email address. You can also ask a lot of questions, and get a lot of answers back in a very short period of time, and then have time to assimilate those answers, rather than it just being a big verbal overload of information.

I look for a good profile online, as well as likes, dislikes, age, photos. A good profile is one which is going to detail something about that person as a Dominant as well as an individual, and hopefully also outlines roughly what they are looking for in a submissive. It needs to be written in good English, and it's amazing how much good punctuation, spelling, and paragraphing also helps. I also look, in a first response, for a polite and courteous reply.

(in reply to trueshadow)

Post #: 19

RE: New Master searches - 1/9/2010 3:48:08 AM

lally2

Posts: 2621
Joined: 4/16/2009
Status: offline

it is tricky.

finding the combo of dominant, BDSM tastes and personality is a tall order. i have met people i really liked personality wise but were not on the same page where Ms was concerned and ive met great Masters whose slant on life wasnt mine. niether has worked.

but in the end ill go with everyone else here. if youre looking for a relationship then you need to look for someone you enjoy being with. its hard to submit to someone who grates against youre own personality. the trouble with that is that you can end up really liking a person who isnt quite masterful enough or just likes a bit of bedroom kink or is too much the other way, then youre in a relationship with someone you like alot but the Ms doesnt work for you.

as a dominant wrote to me today, it should be possible to temper the bdsm and Ms around the people involved, but not all Dominants work that way. some want it their way or not atall, and thats fair enough too.

i would get away from the thought that just because someone calls themselves dominant it doesnt automatically mean they are. where that mght be true in some cases, its usually just down to levels of what you find works for you. one persons idea of dominance isnt everyones.

work out in youre own head what level you feel works for you, chat away to people, meet people and dont rush into anything until youre sure its clicking.

_____________________________

So all I have to do in order to serve him, is to work out exactly how improbable he is, feed that figure into the finite improbability generator, give him a fresh cup of really hot tea ... and turn him on!

(in reply to reelgoodsub)

Post #: 20

Page: [1]

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Submissive >> New Master searches

Page: [1]

Jump to:

New Messages	No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages	Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages	Locked w/o New Messages

Post New Thread

Reply to Message

Post New Poll

Submit Vote

Delete My Own Post

Delete My Own Thread

Rate Posts

Collarchat.com © 2025

Terms of Service

0.109