BDSM Friends + 12 Step Friends = ??

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BDSM Friends + 12 Step Friends = ?? - 3/22/2006 10:18:07 AM

chellekitty

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I have a war going on inside me whether to directly be involved in helping people in NA find the BDSM groups in my area, to the point of vouching for them at private events...the similarities between the two types of friends is remarkable, all of them are huggy people who depend on you not breaking their anonymity...and it goes on from there, i want to say the delima lies in explaining where we know eachother from, but i don't have to explain...do i? i guess my main question is, would you, personally, introduce your 12 step friends and help them get involved in the BDSM community or would you just make them aware of their availabitlity and step back?
thanks
chelle

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RE: BDSM Friends + 12 Step Friends = ?? - 3/22/2006 1:13:49 PM

BrianSenior

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If the person(s) is aware of what I do, I would tell them where to learn or get information from. If they read and show sincere interest, then I would introduce them to a group. ~BK~

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RE: BDSM Friends + 12 Step Friends = ?? - 3/22/2006 1:28:45 PM

Submotive

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It's a tricky situation since both groups want to maintain some anonymity. May i ask how you know that certain NA members might be interested in BDSM?

i tend to keep my program and other lifestyle separate myself.

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RE: BDSM Friends + 12 Step Friends = ?? - 3/22/2006 1:30:40 PM

oceansdaughter

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Being in a 12step program myself .... AA ... I try not to tarnish my AA rep with anything but AA. If they are close friends, maybe you can say something. But, friendships fall out, and people LOVE to talk (even placing personalities before prinicipals) .... so you got to be careful. I strieve to keep my AA world seperate from everything else. I need that safe haven and a tidy reputation. Don't forget your singleness of purpose for being in recovery. Keep it simple, one day at a time.

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RE: BDSM Friends + 12 Step Friends = ?? - 3/22/2006 2:00:00 PM

LuckyAlbatross

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Treat your Anonymous friends in the same way you would treat any friends- except don't tell other people where you met and where you go.

If you are close friends to them and they are interested in bds, it would be natural to discuss it. In introductions, rarely would it be directly asked "So how did you two meet?" and at that point you can say "Oh we've just hung out together for awhile" or "We're part of a regular group meeting and bdsm just came up." Or a dozen other possible vague answers.

Then you swiftly and gracefully switch the subject to "There seems to be a lot of people here tonight" or "Wow, the music isn't at all what I was hoping for tonight" or "Wow, your shoes look awesome, where did you get them?"

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RE: BDSM Friends + 12 Step Friends = ?? - 3/23/2006 5:37:40 AM

Mistrix

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Anonymity is so important. I am proud to be a recovering drug addict and don't dispel my "other" lifestyle choices with people in the rooms. I have to THINK THINK THINK and make sure I put first things first. Now , if I have a client that is in NA or AA that recognizes me then I will deal with it when I cross that bridge. Keep it simple and don't ever ever forget to KEEP Coming back!

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RE: BDSM Friends + 12 Step Friends = ?? - 3/23/2006 6:23:27 AM

chellekitty

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i guess the NA meetings i go to are a little more open, cause i have heard all kinds of kinky topics discussed, from both positive and negative ends...

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RE: BDSM Friends + 12 Step Friends = ?? - 3/23/2006 10:02:50 PM

DragonNphoenix

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quote:

ORIGINAL: chellekitty

i guess the NA meetings i go to are a little more open, cause i have heard all kinds of kinky topics discussed, from both positive and negative ends...

Yah.. mine too. I have 8 years clean and have discussed my being a submissive with a couple of people in the program. At that time, I was going to a very public club and ran into a couple of friends from NA. Of course, I have another issue, see, I am pagan... so I am in the minority from the start.

If these are friends that you are comfortable knowing all about you, then tell them. If you want to keep your lifestyle a secret, then dont.

1st Girl Phoenix

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