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LanceHughes -> RE: Can you be a Dom and a Masochist? (1/13/2010 8:37:54 AM)
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It's the power exchange. As long as you are ordering her to give you pleasure (in whatever form) you are the Dom. In the gay world we have Doms ordering subs "Get it hard, boy. I want a good ride. You lay back and I'll climb on it." Now, who is the Dom?
As above: make sure she understands that you are in control regardless of what you tell her to do. You might want to use a bath towel analogy. When you get out of the tub/shower she rubs you down with a towel, pleasuring you. This is same thing, at a more intense level.
ETA: There's lots of strings discussing whether or not FemDoms are "allowed" to give oral sex to their male subs.... do a little searching and you'll find essentially the same answer: you as the Dom get to use your slave/sub in whatever way you want.
Sounds like you are moving toward a slave/Master relationship and are right at the cusp/dividing line.
Have a little more confidence in your abilities to command and in hers to perform and you'll both have fun!
Been there, done that.......crossed that line, that is. Sometimes <not often> have to remember that I'm in a Master/slave relationship, but as they say, "practice makes perfect." One of my New Year resolutions is to get more practice. LOL!
quote:
So my question is...can I be a Dom, sadist and masochist all at the same time without being a sub? I have zero desire to submit but I love hardcore pain. Is that switch?
Nope, not a switch. You are a Dom that likes to both deliver and accept pain.
Again, watch the yin-yang aspects very carefully. Again, the voice of experience.... :::sigh::: "Lost" a great slave/sub because I told him to "top" me. Shoulda, coulda, woulda told him "I order you to flog me because I want to be flogged and there's no else around to do that to me. You are to think of yourself as just an attachment to the flogger that makes it move." Instead, I went into sub-space....... what a mess.
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