Sometimes things would be simpler if they didn't work (Full Version)

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RavenMuse -> Sometimes things would be simpler if they didn't work (3/23/2006 2:44:29 PM)

I've dealt with nervious girls before and I knew she was nervious about meeting. Not for any bad reason, but simply because the dynamic has been VERY strong even before we met, two opposite sides of the same coin. Both knowing that if that carried through into the real life meeting then just one step into wonderland would find a hell of a deep rabbithole and current circumstances meen both of us need to keep the breaks on and try and hold this to just a friendship.

One of the worst things you can do with a nervious girl is leave her waiting for you that first meeting. Stuff people thinking the Dom shouldn't put themself out to that extent, I'd rather turn up a little early and be first there rather than have a panicing girl on my hands! She was later than she first thought she was going to be, but she did text me in plenty of time to let me know.

I met her at the tube station and we wandered down to Ben Crouches. My choise, a place I know I am comfortable in.... she loved it, goth but not 'scene', not clique. Comfortable, relaxed and serves a good pint of Bombadier (proper Bitter, not that watered down crap that passes for beer elsewhere in the world [;)]).

Before we had even got seated it was clear the spark WAS there in real life... and so was that dynamic. Had to be a little firmer than I should be before she has 'properly' submitted when it came to who was paying for things, though I did let her buy one drink later on after she asked nicely.

They say time flys when you are having fun and sure enough, five hours disapeared in less than what felt like only one hour and it was time to walk her back to the tube (I was going the same way, just getting on a southbound rather than a northbound)

Still not entirely sure this isn't going to involve a collar at some point in the future, but even if it doesn't... its going to be one intense and interesting friendship [:D][8D]



Oumae -> RE: Sometimes things would be simpler if they didn't work (3/25/2006 2:48:52 AM)

Best of luck with it.

Oumae



RavenMuse -> RE: Sometimes things would be simpler if they didn't work (3/25/2006 11:23:51 AM)

Many thanks petal,

Not that sure luck is a factor actualy. Just time, things in her life that need to be sorted out before anything could happen. But if that happens before I find another girl that the dynamic works quite that well with and whom I have that spark with then things could get real interesting real fast as we both know that both the sparkage and the dynamic are there between us already

But other that that, she is very pleasent company and the friendship will certainly prove 'interesting' [8D]



fastlane -> RE: Sometimes things would be simpler if they didn't work (3/25/2006 11:53:13 AM)

Cool Rave.....I'm happy for you!



feylin -> RE: Sometimes things would be simpler if they didn't work (3/25/2006 12:55:49 PM)

What an absolutely lovely experience.  Thank you for sharing the events and your feelings.  I also become extremely nervous when meeting someone -- I suppose everyone has some level of nerves for a first meeting?

Your description, though, is a perfect example of how a first meeting should go...at least, in my opinion.  (It is perfect for my level of comfort.)  For me, your being there early, having a destination in mind where you could be comfortable and get to know one another better all shows confidence and caring.  That is something you can project online but is truly proven by actions.

I asked a Dominant once how he expected our first meeting to go.  He wrote that after I begged his collar he would ride me like a pony into the bedroom for, at the very least, oral sex.   I did not even stutter on a keystroke as I wrote back, "Good to know." <grins>  They were such normal conversations up to that point. <laughs>  Tragically, we lost touch.

Best wishes to you on your journey together.  I truly enjoyed reading your post.  Again, thank you for sharing.



MistressOfGa -> RE: Sometimes things would be simpler if they didn't work (3/25/2006 1:37:23 PM)

Raven, I wish you all the best! I hope that this is the ONE :)



fastlane -> RE: Sometimes things would be simpler if they didn't work (3/25/2006 4:41:21 PM)

Raven, I wish you all the best! I hope that this is the ONE :)

or two....  :  )

Kevin



RavenMuse -> RE: Sometimes things would be simpler if they didn't work (3/26/2006 2:45:02 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: feylin
What an absolutely lovely experience.  Thank you for sharing the events and your feelings.  I also become extremely nervous when meeting someone -- I suppose everyone has some level of nerves for a first meeting?


I'm not the nervious type but as I said, I knew she WAS feeling the nerves. Hence IMO it was my responcibility to help her over those nerves. It doesn't take much extra effort to get there a little early and exchange a few texts as she journeys in on the train, but I've found it often helps..... and next time she meets me she won't be as nervious [:)]

quote:

Your description, though, is a perfect example of how a first meeting should go...at least, in my opinion.  (It is perfect for my level of comfort.)  For me, your being there early, having a destination in mind where you could be comfortable and get to know one another better all shows confidence and caring.  That is something you can project online but is truly proven by actions.


SSC is for the best for the first meeting, even if there is the temptation to rush headlong into things. Until things are varified in real life, things said on the net (Boards, mail, IM) are simply words and maybe not what they seem. My intuition is reasonably good, but far better in RL and I'm glad to say that the young lady I met was everything I thought she was.

quote:

I asked a Dominant once how he expected our first meeting to go.  He wrote that after I begged his collar he would ride me like a pony into the bedroom for, at the very least, oral sex.   I did not even stutter on a keystroke as I wrote back, "Good to know." <grins>  They were such normal conversations up to that point. <laughs>  Tragically, we lost touch.


The phrase 'lucky escape' comes to mind... fine if it is in jest and clearly ment as such, but once you are making plans for the real McCoy then IMO the Dom has a responcibility to ensure things are done safely (Safe for the sub, not just themself). Public place, reasonably busy, good transport links. Any sub should expect this and also has the responcibility for her own safety in not accepting things done otherwise.

The second meeting, well that is where risk can be considered because you have something real on which to base your assessment of what level of risk/ how much trust is realy there.

quote:

Best wishes to you on your journey together.  I truly enjoyed reading your post.  Again, thank you for sharing.


Many thanks[:)]



RavenMuse -> RE: Sometimes things would be simpler if they didn't work (3/26/2006 2:48:50 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: MistressOfGa
Raven, I wish you all the best! I hope that this is the ONE :)


Thanks petal. A lot depends on how other parts of her life goes, but IF things don't happen then at least it is definate proof that what I am looking for IS out there.... if it is out there then it is only a matter of time till I find her.



RavenMuse -> RE: Sometimes things would be simpler if they didn't work (3/26/2006 2:50:16 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: fastlane
or two....  :  )


Two is good... three even better.... four.... nah, I think I AM slowing down in my old age[;)]



LordKhensu -> RE: Sometimes things would be simpler if they didn't work (3/26/2006 2:53:36 AM)

It is always nice to hear when two meet that there is a chemistry being woven! Too many dismiss the feeling, dare i say the magic, that wraps around each other as they begin to find their desires opening and are walking the same path! Best wishes to you both as I hope this is the beginning for of a beautiful journey for you!

And I dont care what you say, I still am not drinking my beer warm. lol





amaidiamond -> RE: Sometimes things would be simpler if they didn't work (3/26/2006 4:07:02 PM)

Sometimes when you meet someone everything just clicks into place and *works* and it was like that this time, and yes, the dynamic is certainly strong and things could get very interesting :)
I have to say that you are one of the most considerate people i have met, someone that puts that much thought into meeting someone for the first time is in my experience a rare thing, to the point of turning up early.
I will admit to nerves and rather strong ones at that but it did not take long for you to put me at my ease, well, at least as at my ease as was possible with that spark! I had a trully wonderfull evening and am looking forward to a second meeting, although the nerves will be greatly reduced. I found your company interesting, the conversation flowed easily and was a fantastic first meeting, hopefully the first of many. Most definatly a positive experience, thank you :)

Edited due to the typo monster of one am 



RavenMuse -> RE: Sometimes things would be simpler if they didn't work (3/27/2006 12:18:48 AM)

You are most welcome petal. As you know I'm going to be running around a lot getting ready for moving flat for the next 11 days but I'm sure there will be lots of meetings after that.'interesting' is definatly the word for it, that spark even tests MY much vaunted self control[:D] It would be just so easy to 'tell' you how to sort things the way I want them sorted... but that is a decision you have to make for yourself!




RavenMuse -> RE: Sometimes things would be simpler if they didn't work (3/27/2006 12:26:42 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: LordKhensu
It is always nice to hear when two meet that there is a chemistry being woven! Too many dismiss the feeling, dare i say the magic, that wraps around each other as they begin to find their desires opening and are walking the same path! Best wishes to you both as I hope this is the beginning for of a beautiful journey for you!


If you are just looking for a body to Top, you have a kink you want fullfilling and it doesn't matter who the person is, then sure you don't need anything more than compliance, but if you are looking for a relationship, especialy a D/s relationship then IMO that spark is absolutely essential and without it there is nothing much worth having.

quote:

And I dont care what you say, I still am not drinking my beer warm. lol


I'm not too fussed about the temperature, I just don't want it tasting like it has already been drunk once... like most of what passes for beer over there [;)]
Bud - Its like making love in a canoe....... fucking close to water![:D]



KatyLied -> RE: Sometimes things would be simpler if they didn't work (3/27/2006 5:42:29 AM)

Raven - I am happy for you!  And your girl too.

Best wishes.....

Katy



missprivate -> RE: Sometimes things would be simpler if they didn't work (3/27/2006 10:39:41 AM)

sounds like a nice experience, good luck with everything :} It's nice to read that people actually do meet & have good experiences, reading this helped me feel a little better about meeting people on here.

a Dom who knows his beer, mmmm. have any friends haha.



RavenMuse -> RE: Sometimes things would be simpler if they didn't work (3/27/2006 11:11:31 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: KatyLied
Raven - I am happy for you!  And your girl too.


Ah, not "MY girl".... at least not yet.... things are still a definate maybe LOL
But she IS a sweetie and proof that what I am looking for IS out there, so I'm not compleatly mad![;)]



RavenMuse -> RE: Sometimes things would be simpler if they didn't work (3/27/2006 11:14:40 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: missprivate

sounds like a nice experience, good luck with everything :} It's nice to read that people actually do meet & have good experiences, reading this helped me feel a little better about meeting people on here.

a Dom who knows his beer, mmmm. have any friends haha.


It is tricky working out who is real and who is just playing games, but that holds true anywhere on the net and even to some lesser extent in real life..... but yep, good experiences are to be had. Hope you have some of your very own in the near future :)

As for Doms who know their beer, most of the Americans I know who have good taste in beer, already moved to the UK! [:D]



amaidiamond -> RE: Sometimes things would be simpler if they didn't work (3/27/2006 12:07:46 PM)

It raised my outlook on life rather a lot, there actually are some good people out there :)



missprivate -> RE: Sometimes things would be simpler if they didn't work (3/27/2006 4:37:35 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: RavenMuse

As for Doms who know their beer, most of the Americans I know who have good taste in beer, already moved to the UK! [:D]



lol so true! I know my beer and consequently am trying to figure out a way to move to Glasgow :}



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