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RE: Will this deep burnning ever stop! - 3/24/2006 8:46:45 AM

Posts: 5587
Joined: 3/1/2006
From: Charleston, WV
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fyre (nice name, girl),

I'm betting that this man is the first to touch your slave heart. It doesn't mean that he owns it. It's up to you to find someone who both touches it AND deserves to be in a relationship with you, as a conscious decision between to equals. Yes, equals. Don't sell a part of yourself for approval; that is where the notion of inferiority comes from or is manifested. Here's some stuff for you to read. Maybe it will help you get in touch with yourself a bit.

Does this describe you?
http://www.arizonapowerexchange.org/academy/slave.htm

If so, find someone like this:
http://www.arizonapowerexchange.org/academy/Master.htm

To take a deep look at why you might be willing to sell yourself so easily (we all have a price for different things), look into the Prostitute archetype (we ALL have this archetype...it isn't about being a sex worker). Scroll down to the Prostitute. If you're really looking to delve deep into yourself, I highly recommend the book "Sacred Contracts" in which you will find in depth discussions about Archetypes, among other things. Warning: it isn't light reading!
http://www.myss.com/ThreeArchs.asp

Fire

< Message edited by MasterFireMaam -- 3/24/2006 8:48:06 AM >

_____________________________

The power of who we are can be intoxicating. The power of who we could be is humbling.
-----
Ms Relationship Books
-----
BDSM How-To Books

(in reply to SBayouLady)

RE: Will this deep burnning ever stop! - 3/24/2006 8:50:14 AM

Posts: 3403
Joined: 10/7/2005
Status: offline

thank you
(not to highjack)
i do studying of archetypes....
jungian and joseph campbell.......
good links...thanks

edited...sticks foot in mouth, i see your siggie

< Message edited by fyreredsub -- 3/24/2006 8:58:57 AM >

_____________________________

"Accordingly, men must then either fulfill their nature, or deny it, and in denying their nature, deny us ours, for ours is the complement to theirs. " Renegades

(in reply to MasterFireMaam)

RE: Will this deep burnning ever stop! - 3/24/2006 8:58:41 AM

Posts: 440
Joined: 9/9/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: SBayouLady

Please allow me to explain myself,,, A few months ago I gave my 100 %submission to a Master,,only to have it given back , as he tells me I am not the slave that he wants,, but that I could be. I also found out he was lieing to me. yes I had to lie to him to find out he was lieing to me... I just didnt want it to be true. I had to find out. But 2 wrongs do not make a right. But a few days ago he contacted me and he wants another session with me. This man touched my soul a place no other has ever. I would have done anything for him.When he left me I felt crushed.. I was crushed. I told him NO... that I did not want to get hurt again,,,, but it took all that I had to tell him no. It hurt to tell him no.He told me he holds a key to a place with in me no other will ever open,,,and Iam SOOO scared he is right. How do I get that back,,,, is he right? Dont I have the power to take that key from him.... and if I do why does it hurt so bad. I know my answer to his question MUSt stay as NO... but why does it hurt like this.

SBayouLady

i had this happen, although i didn't lie to find out He was lieing. But, i was very crushed. It took quite awhile to get over Him and the feeling that no one would ever touch in me what He did. But, low and behold Someone has and, in retrospect, what the betrayer touched in me was nothing compared to what i have now. Time does heal all wounds if W/we let it. I look back on the "liar" now and say to myself "my god, what was i thinking?" Self deceipt is the one thing to watch out for. It takes a lot of self deceipt to continue in something that's not good for me.

_____________________________

Owned by Scotch Master

i would rather continue alone than be permitted to show only parts of myself to my Beloved.

If you're not living as you would like to today, when are you going to start?

(in reply to SBayouLady)

RE: Will this deep burnning ever stop! - 3/24/2006 9:24:42 AM

Posts: 567
Joined: 4/19/2004
Status: offline

The burning you have inside is yours, it hopefully will never stop for you as it is what keeps you gpong day after day. As far as the relationship with this Dominant that is and should be over as the most important part of any relationship whether D/s or vanilla is honesty. The honesty obviously was not there with him so it ended up not being there with you either as you had to be dishonest to find out about his dishonesty. For my wife and I who are both Dominants it is the honesty between us and anyone that we have in our lives that is most important. We wish you the best in healing from this and moving on to a better place.

Wild

(in reply to SBayouLady)

RE: Will this deep burnning ever stop! - 3/24/2006 9:52:18 PM

TemptingNviceSub

Posts: 3054
Joined: 10/1/2005
Status: offline

To the OP...I have to go with LuckyAlbatross on this one.IMO..its bad all around..be well..be strong...Tempting

(in reply to wild1cfl)

RE: Will this deep burnning ever stop! - 3/24/2006 11:50:28 PM

Posts: 538
Joined: 12/22/2005
Status: offline

"fuck him, we all have". Sorry, tourettes.

1 day at a time, lots of chocolate. Oh, and more than a squeeze of positive experiences.

Never go back. There's far too much ahead.

(in reply to fyreredsub)

RE: Will this deep burnning ever stop! - 3/25/2006 6:14:46 AM

PenelopePitstop

Posts: 254
Joined: 4/22/2005
From: UK
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: SBayouLady

Please allow me to explain myself,,, A few months ago I gave my 100 %submission to a Master,,only to have it given back , as he tells me I am not the slave that he wants,, but that I could be. I also found out he was lieing to me. yes I had to lie to him to find out he was lieing to me... I just didnt want it to be true. I had to find out. But 2 wrongs do not make a right. But a few days ago he contacted me and he wants another session with me. This man touched my soul a place no other has ever. I would have done anything for him.When he left me I felt crushed.. I was crushed. I told him NO... that I did not want to get hurt again,,,, but it took all that I had to tell him no. It hurt to tell him no.He told me he holds a key to a place with in me no other will ever open,,,and Iam SOOO scared he is right. How do I get that back,,,, is he right? Dont I have the power to take that key from him.... and if I do why does it hurt so bad. I know my answer to his question MUSt stay as NO... but why does it hurt like this.

SBayouLady

Does the way you feel when you are with him balance out the pain you feel afterwards? If the answer is yes, then something inside you needs looking at. If the answer is no, then imagine him with no teeth, incontinence and covered with flies* and move on.

* I realise this is a bit of an extreme mental image but sometimes you have to use whatever works.

_____________________________

Wickedness is a myth created by good people to account for the curious attractiveness of others ~ Oscar Wilde

"You had me at Goodbye"

(in reply to SBayouLady)

RE: Will this deep burnning ever stop! - 3/25/2006 6:24:12 AM

Posts: 8
Joined: 4/12/2005
Status: offline

take the key back it is yours and he cant keep that from ya hope you are feeling better about it soon

(in reply to fyreredsub)

RE: Will this deep burnning ever stop! - 3/25/2006 6:51:00 AM

Posts: 84
Joined: 4/29/2005
From: eastern Ontario, Canada
Status: offline

Yes it will! With patience, perseverance and stepping back from the situation, you will start feeling better.

As for him saying that he holds the *key* ... frig, what a load of manipulative crap! Tell him that key won't work anymore as you changed the locks .. when you found out about his deception .. and you just ain't gonna *tumble* for anyone who disregards the *keys* ... which are honesty, respect, and open and honest communication. He can keep his stupid key.

wishing you strength,
oxox,foX

< Message edited by foxnotinsox -- 3/25/2006 6:53:39 AM >

(in reply to needaslave)

RE: Will this deep burnning ever stop! - 3/25/2006 7:07:11 AM

Posts: 1776
Joined: 1/5/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: SBayouLady

Please allow me to explain myself,,, A few months ago I gave my 100 %submission to a Master,,only to have it given back , as he tells me I am not the slave that he wants,, but that I could be. I also found out he was lieing to me. yes I had to lie to him to find out he was lieing to me... I just didnt want it to be true. I had to find out. But 2 wrongs do not make a right. But a few days ago he contacted me and he wants another session with me. This man touched my soul a place no other has ever. I would have done anything for him.When he left me I felt crushed.. I was crushed. I told him NO... that I did not want to get hurt again,,,, but it took all that I had to tell him no. It hurt to tell him no.He told me he holds a key to a place with in me no other will ever open,,,and Iam SOOO scared he is right. How do I get that back,,,, is he right? Dont I have the power to take that key from him.... and if I do why does it hurt so bad. I know my answer to his question MUSt stay as NO... but why does it hurt like this.

SBayouLady

What is this "burning" for? Is it a play session or to serve a man. From what you say, it seems like a play session. If so, just keep looking, you'll find another to play with you on the same level. If it's about really serving a man then you need to evaluate what it is that this one has that makes you kneel and seek it in another.

_____________________________

If you love somebody, you have to be willing to break them.

Those who can, do. Those who can't, teach.

Have you slapped your slave today?

(in reply to SBayouLady)

RE: Will this deep burnning ever stop! - 3/25/2006 7:26:17 AM

Posts: 6233
Status: offline

Hi sbayoutlady,

i am a woman who has been slave and now who recognizes it but am unowned. i was owned by a Man who pulled that slave from me, he owned me for 7 years who i ended up running from finally the reasons are not important but suffice it to say it was because i had too, its been 7 years since i did, even to this day, (he tends to pop into my life every couple years that sends me on a tailspin of pain, fear, slave aching and personal desperation - which has pretty much been happening over the past couple months lol so i can relate on how you feel) he has the power to compell the slave in me still. It terrifies me honestly, that even with all that has transpired he has this ability still.

But one thing that helps me is that i differentiate between being "a" slave and recognizing slave -- call it survivors instincts. As long as i am not owned and mastered - i am not "a" slave, he cannot touch me because i have to make my decisions for me. i find the strength to stand against him, knowing i have too. However, what keeps me sane through this is i recognize slave. That means i take all those achings and burnings and feelings of slave and let them be my strength many times against him, to keep me sane and focused on what i am inside, what is naturally reactionary to a Man who has the natural will to compel slave from me.

I have felt the compelling of slave from other Men in my life, but its sort of like a limb falling asleep so to speak, when it begins to wriggle around the agonizing intensity of it coming alive again is painfully aware, then it settles into a maranderings of feeling as its suppose to be.

There is no key that a single Man holds for slave in you... for to me a Man doesn't need a key, all he needs to do is have you open the door for him to me that is what a Master is -- he compels the slave to him - he doesn't come in and get her. you know slave, so take slave and find your strength in being so. His making you doubt this future ability to react as slave to another is his way of trying to maintain control. Only you can differentiate between your being "a" slave and letting him maintain that control, and your recognizing slave which will give you strength to put things in perspective.

i hope this make sense and helps in some way.

angel

< Message edited by barelynangel -- 3/25/2006 7:35:15 AM >

_____________________________

What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us.
R.W. Emerson

(in reply to SBayouLady)

RE: Will this deep burnning ever stop! - 3/25/2006 7:35:13 AM

Posts: 1807
Joined: 1/24/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: barelynangel

Hi sbayoutlady,

i am a woman who has been slave and now who recognizes it but am unowned. i was owned by a Man who pulled that slave from me, he owned me for 7 years who i ended up running from finally the reasons are not important but suffice it to say it was because i had too, its been 7 years since i did, even to this day, (he tends to pop into my life every couple years that sends me on a tailspin of pain, fear, slave aching and personal desperation - which has pretty much been happening over the past couple months lol so i can relate on how you feel) he has the power to compell the slave in me still. It terrifies me honestly, that even with all that has transpired he has this ability still.

But one thing that helps me is that i differentiate between being "a" slave and recognizing slave. As long as i am not owned and mastered - i am not "a" slave, he cannot touch me because i have to make my decisions for me. i find the strength to stand against him, knowing i have too. However, what keeps me sane through this is i recognize slave. That means i take all those achings and burnings and feelings of slave and let them be my strength many times against him, to keep me sane and focused on what i am inside, what is naturally reactionary to a Man who has the natural will to compel slave from me.

I have felt the compelling of slave from other Men in my life, but its sort of like a limb falling asleep so to speak, when it begins to wriggle around the agonizing intensity of it coming alive again is painfully aware, then it settles into a maranderings of feeling as its suppose to be.

There is no key that a single Man holds for slave in you... for to me a Man doesn't need a key, all he needs to do is have you open the door for him to me that is what a Master is -- he compels the slave to him - he doesn't come in and get her. you know slave, so take slave and find your strength in being so. His making you doubt this future ability to react as slave to another is his way of trying to maintain control. Only you can differentiate between your being "a" slave and letting him maintain that control, and your recognizing slave which will give you strength to put things in perspective.

i hope this make sense and helps in some way.

angel

your words for me were... well...

thank you. well said.

_____________________________

~....and once you have tasted flight, you will walk the earth with your eyes turned skyward, for there you have been and there you long to return.~ -- Leonardo de Vinci

(in reply to barelynangel)

RE: Will this deep burnning ever stop! - 3/25/2006 7:54:45 AM

Posts: 64
Joined: 9/26/2005
Status: offline

As one who was recently on the losing end of a a supposedly "honest trainer/mentor" relationship, this hurts terribly. Remain strong in your conviction to saying no to this person. As previously stated by others on here, dishonest, always dishonest. If you remain strong the haunting feelings of longing and loss will fade. It does take time.

_____________________________

"Boil thou first i' the charmed pot! For a charm of powerful trouble, Like a hell-broth boil and bubble. "

(in reply to SBayouLady)

RE: Will this deep burnning ever stop! - 3/25/2006 8:42:48 AM

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Joined: 3/3/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: SBayouLady

.He told me he holds a key to a place with in me no other will ever open,,,and Iam SOOO scared he is right.
SBayouLady

This fear is only adding fuel to the fire, so to speak. There are few truly "right ones" out in the world. How do you know if he was one? Well........do you deserve to be lied to? If your answer is "yes" maybe he is right for you. If the answer is "no"............................

Level

(in reply to SBayouLady)

RE: Will this deep burnning ever stop! - 3/27/2006 12:24:22 PM

Posts: 713
Joined: 9/26/2004
From: Portland oregon
Status: offline

WAY to much lieing here from both sides.
Walk away from this before you get into it deeper.
A D/s relationship is and has to be based on trust TOTAL trust.
How can you or he even consider this since you are both allready lieing to each other

_____________________________

Phil Moulton
A Sensual Touch
Locopony Racing
Portland Oregon

(in reply to SBayouLady)

RE: Will this deep burnning ever stop! - 3/27/2006 5:03:05 PM

Posts: 7149
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: SBayouLady
How do I get that back,,,, is he right? Dont I have the power to take that key from him.... and if I do why does it hurt so bad. I know my answer to his question MUSt stay as NO... but why does it hurt like this.

He is right as long as you decide he has that power. When you decide to take responsiblity for yourself you will take it back.

_____________________________

Knight of Mists

An Optimal relationship is achieved when the individuals do what is best for themselves and their relationship.

(in reply to SBayouLady)

RE: Will this deep burnning ever stop! - 3/27/2006 6:06:41 PM

Posts: 331
Joined: 3/22/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: xxblushesxx

In a relationship built on trust a 'master' does not lie to his slave.

If he lied to you about one thing, how do you know he's not lying about having the 'key' to your soul?

Sounds like manipulation to me.

Let him continue, or stop him now...I believe the end result will be the same. The only difference is, will it be his choice, or yours?

Good luck to you.

~Christina

I agree with Christina.. make it be your choice. The right one will come along some day.

(in reply to xxblushesxx)

RE: Will this deep burnning ever stop! - 4/1/2006 11:57:39 PM

mons

Posts: 2400
Joined: 11/16/2005
Status: offline

Fyreredsub greeting

I had almost became one of you!!!!!!! But the domme side of me
for reason I do not know did not trust enough and my other side
won! I do not know what would had happen? But i felt longing for him
but the trust thing did not go well things were not answered? I wanted to
know all but it was left out most of the time. I wil wonder what may have been
but I am happy I stay my course and I am who i was before and will be
forever, but I still wonder how it would had been to give my soul to a master?

best wishes

mons/jane

(in reply to doves)

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