Collarchat.com

Join Our Community
Collarchat.com

Home  Login  Search 

RE: Lame posts: "No, I'm not into that. Sorry" Why bother?


View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest
 
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Mistress >> RE: Lame posts: "No, I'm not into that. Sorry" Why bother? Page: <<   < prev  10 11 12 13 [14]
Login
Message << Older Topic   Newer Topic >>
RE: Lame posts: "No, I'm not into that. Sorry&quo... - 1/28/2010 6:55:43 AM   
cloudboy


Posts: 7306
Joined: 12/14/2005
Status: offline
quote:

CB...you are a gloomy sort


I've just finished reading THE DICTATORS (a compare and contrast of Stalin and Hitler) and now the THE DROWNED AND THE SAVED. I'd be lying if I did not say these works have colored my perceptions and sensibilities over the past six weeks.

P.S. Please alert me if I get neutral or tepid, that would be a cause for alarm....

< Message edited by cloudboy -- 1/28/2010 7:32:51 AM >

(in reply to OttersSwim)
Profile   Post #: 261
RE: Lame posts: "No, I'm not into that. Sorry&quo... - 1/28/2010 7:53:27 AM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: shallowdeep

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact
From your comment, I think you are, mistakenly, assuming the primary function of this board, is for the benefit of sub males. Many of us do not see it that way.

Sorry if I gave that impression. Akasha had framed this topic in terms of the educational value such responses would provide to subs, which is really the key point I'm rather skeptical about. Others seemed to agree this was a significant part of their motivation in giving a response, so I was simply continuing in that vein. I certainly didn't mean to imply that was the primary purpose of the board, but I thought it was the point under discussion. I hope that clarifies why I framed things as I did.

This is something I actually addressed earlier in the thread when someone used the analogy of teaching a dog.  Did you really teach the dog not to do a certain thing, or did you really teach him to be afraid of the stick?  I got dinged for saying, more or less that I really didn't care.  As long as the desired result is obtained, that's the result I'm happy to see.  If the dog has stopped peeing on the carpet because he's afraid of the stick, it's still effective.

quote:

quote:

Believe it or not, putting a comment out there on a subject that I am not interested in actually drops the drive by mail ratio. Often, what happens when someone new comes around here and starts posting the types of threads that we're discussing here, they will start jumping around the other threads and find the Dommes that post frequently. At that point, they will start mass emailing all of us, often with a repeat of what they asked in the thread they created. The 'head them off at the pass' technique works in this area.

I can definitely see how this rationale makes sense for frequent posters. It was something I had not considered; thank you for the added perspective.

You're quite welcome. 

quote:

quote:

Each time I stand up and say that isn't what I'm here for, I make a dent in that vending machine mentality.

Perhaps, but this veers into the 'educational value' that I'm still skeptical of. I can accept letting loose might be effective at getting the OP to stop. In persistent cases (e.g. bumping or starting new threads), I allow it may even be the option I would resort to. But does it really put a dent in their mentality? The OP may well scamper off under a hail of righteous indignation, but do they really reflect on it? Do they even understand why they came under attack? Or do they head straight back for the reassuring arms of porn that doesn't talk back? How many return as reformed, intelligent contributors? If they actually are open to learning, I suspect being ignored would be an equally effective lesson that they need to change their approach and mentality. If they're not, it's already a lost cause. It strikes me as spending time tilting at windmills.

This part really doesn't hold much consequence to Me.  There are cases where they do come back and make excellent contributors around here.  (I'll allow those who feel that they fit this category speak for themselves, as I don't wish to embarrass anyone.)  If they run back to their porn to indulge their fantasies, to Me, it's just as good.  Whatever they are doing in their world, if it's not effecting Mine, has no bearing.  Very much like if someone has their own yard littered with trash the next town over.  I couldn't care less.  If it's a yard here in My neighborhood, I care because the property value goes down.

quote:

quote:

The truth of the matter is that, even if a good number of us reply negatively to a trollish post, the post doesn't stay at the top of the forum that long. More often than not, we get a good laugh.

If this is how most women here view it, that makes perfect sense. Sometimes I think I see more than laughter, though. I get the sense that these things really can grate on some women. Because of that, I wonder if there is potential for a more productive tone that everyone would appreciate if lame posts were more frequently ignored.

This topic seems to have gotten off topic in some rather bizarre ways, so I may try to let it fade, but I wanted to thank you both very much for your responses.

I won't say 'most' but I think Lockit did confirm that it is the experience, at least for some of us.  While it is a generalization, it happens most often when related to certain kinks.  Forced fem, AB/DL, and toilet slavery to name a few.  In My opinion, these are areas that a good number of folks won't engage in at all, and those that will tend to only be willing to do so within the context of an established dynamic.  (I'd even go so far as to say this is exactly why some pros who are willing to take on clients with these interests make the money that they do.)  Because these are less popular kinks, at least on a casual level, some folks with those interest become some of the most annoying types of 'do-me's' out there.  If going upside their head with the clue by four (the stick) works, it gets the desired result.


_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to shallowdeep)
Profile   Post #: 262
RE: Lame posts: "No, I'm not into that. Sorry&quo... - 1/28/2010 8:34:31 AM   
OttersSwim


Posts: 2860
Joined: 9/1/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: cloudboy

quote:

CB...you are a gloomy sort


I've just finished reading THE DICTATORS (a compare and contrast of Stalin and Hitler) and now the THE DROWNED AND THE SAVED. I'd be lying if I did not say these works have colored my perceptions and sensibilities over the past six weeks.

P.S. Please alert me if I get neutral or tepid, that would be a cause for alarm....


I used to be a huge history buff - it was one of the ways that I repressed my female side.  What I learned from it all was that history is a lens through which one can view the future.  But much of history contains fear and hatred, and if you focus too much on that, through your lens, that is nearly all you will start to see.  So be sure to balance the dark that you are studying with things of beauty and light.

There is a wonderful book that I have read called "The Romance of Leonardo DaVinci by Dmitri Merejkowski.  Written around 1920 and translated from the Russian.  It is historical fiction, but wonderfully researched and lovingly done.  I recommend it to you for some balance of beauty and light between reading about Hitler and Stalin. 


_____________________________

I am on a journey of authenticity and self.

(in reply to cloudboy)
Profile   Post #: 263
RE: Lame posts: "No, I'm not into that. Sorry&quo... - 1/28/2010 8:54:09 AM   
Lockit


Posts: 11292
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: shallowdeep

quote:

ORIGINAL: Lockit
I bring this up because my name was mentioned and one line of comment from me sounds as if I have another take on things than what I really have.

It seems I owe you an apology. I happened to like the way you had already clearly identified the possible options for reaction and wanted to use that as a starting point in organizing my own thoughts on them. I didn't mean to misrepresent your views when I snipped the quote out of context.


Shallowdeep... The only reason I said anything was because I didn't want to take credit or be given credit somehow for something I hadn't done or really meant to say. lol Most of the dominant's that I know around here have done the evaluation thing. We have balanced it all out on some level and made our choices. I am in a middle ground I think. Just as many who are here that I have learned their posting style. Who we are and I am not attempting to speak for them here... are very caring people who do try to be true to who we are and how we might live, whatever those things are. We don't slam dunk people simply because of one thing or another. We evaluate many things. We do that in life in general it seems, from what I know of some of the ladies and have talked to enough to know that they do.

So I didn't want to be highlighted as someone who had the right idea when it wasn't just my idea and I was mostly for posting however it is that you wish, according to what you wish to do and as long as it isn't against TOS and so inflammitory that it caused a lot of problems to one or many.

_____________________________

No matter how old a woman gets, some men will think she was born yesterday! ROFL... I love this place!


(in reply to shallowdeep)
Profile   Post #: 264
RE: Lame posts: "No, I'm not into that. Sorry&quo... - 1/28/2010 9:02:53 AM   
Lockit


Posts: 11292
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline
I think it is a very romantic idea to think that we dominant's can be super human and at such a higher level than other human beings, but I feel that placing us on a pedistal makes for one hard crash at some point. It would be nice if we were here to educate, but you know, I think it is rather silly to feel that we are here to do so. I know I didn't come here to educate. It may be a part of what I do in life, but that isn't my reason for being here. I also think that it is wonderful that we can help people heal and have spent a large portion of my life helping people heal, but that too, isn't why I am here, but it can be part of what I take part in.

Believing that being dominant requires that we are faultless or special falls in my opinion right into the catagory of the fantasy dominatrix. It is just as harmful.

Can some of us be amazing? Yes. Can some of us hold ourselves to a high standard? You betcha... but perfect human beings... no. If there is some standard other than being a decent human being, that is imposed upon a dominant that makes us all behave as a dominant should... fuck that.

I make mistakes. I can get angry. I can cry. I can be snarky. I can be loving. I can be smart. I can also be dingy or silly or even a brat. I am simply a woman who has a dominant personality and who can be a bit kinky. I have my ethic's and honor and whatever else makes me who I am, but I am still just another human being having a human experience.



_____________________________

No matter how old a woman gets, some men will think she was born yesterday! ROFL... I love this place!


(in reply to Lockit)
Profile   Post #: 265
RE: Lame posts: "No, I'm not into that. Sorry&quo... - 1/28/2010 4:59:23 PM   
LadyAngelika


Posts: 8070
Joined: 7/4/2004
Status: offline
<Deleted. Not worth it.>

< Message edited by LadyAngelika -- 1/28/2010 5:08:23 PM >


_____________________________

Une main de fer dans un gant de velours ~ An iron hand in a velvet glove

(in reply to cloudboy)
Profile   Post #: 266
Page:   <<   < prev  10 11 12 13 [14]
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Mistress >> RE: Lame posts: "No, I'm not into that. Sorry" Why bother? Page: <<   < prev  10 11 12 13 [14]
Jump to:





New Messages No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages Locked w/o New Messages
 Post New Thread
 Reply to Message
 Post New Poll
 Submit Vote
 Delete My Own Post
 Delete My Own Thread
 Rate Posts




Collarchat.com © 2024
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy

3.540