RE: Honor, Responsibility, Dignity.

RE: Honor, Responsibility, Dignity. (Full Version)

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littlewonder -> RE: Honor, Responsibility, Dignity. (1/21/2010 8:27:28 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: ItsAProcess quote: ORIGINAL: littlewonder Wow that's a heavy burden you carry to feel shame to be called a man because some men in the world are assholes. Yer gonna break your back one day carrying that heavy load! Someone has to carry the burden. Somewhere. I don't resent it. They do? Why?? Why does anyone have to carry a burden for the actions of total strangers??? I personally hold no burden or guilt whatsoever for what past ancestors have done or those of the female persuasion or bad mothers or daughters or sisters or slaves or people in general. I don't see what the purpose is. Are you trying to reach sainthood?

OsideGirl -> RE: Honor, Responsibility, Dignity. (1/21/2010 8:34:43 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: HisEvelyn You would be surprised what a lack of self-esteem, coupled with the desire to please someone, and having that someone tell you this is the ONLY way to please them will make someone who is uncertain about things do. Especially if there have never been clear boundaries taught to a girl about what is not ok to do to her because of past abuse. There should always be common sense. But some people are so damaged that they don't have much of a sense of common sense when it comes to how they deserve to be treated. I understand that. But, if that's the case, perhaps they should be working on themselves rather than seeking a relationship. Matter of fact, I would say that someone with that level of inability to make a decision about themselves is using BDSM D/s as a crutch by seeking someone to determine that choice for them. To the point where I'd recommend counseling. When someone continually makes bad decisions, they share culpability right along with the person that takes advantage of those bad decisions. You're an adult, ultimately, you're responsible for your decisions. Doing it once, makes you a victim. Doing it over and over again makes you a volunteer. Or perhaps you'd prefer the other quote: The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different outcome.

OrionTheWolf -> RE: Honor, Responsibility, Dignity. (1/21/2010 9:24:46 PM)
Why? What is the burden? How are you actually going to change anything other than in your personal sphere of influence? What if there are others that enjoy how they are doing things? Do you save them from themselves, for their own good? quote: ORIGINAL: ItsAProcess Someone has to carry the burden. Somewhere.

HisEvelyn -> RE: Honor, Responsibility, Dignity. (1/21/2010 10:11:13 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: OsideGirl quote: ORIGINAL: HisEvelyn You would be surprised what a lack of self-esteem, coupled with the desire to please someone, and having that someone tell you this is the ONLY way to please them will make someone who is uncertain about things do. Especially if there have never been clear boundaries taught to a girl about what is not ok to do to her because of past abuse. There should always be common sense. But some people are so damaged that they don't have much of a sense of common sense when it comes to how they deserve to be treated. I understand that. But, if that's the case, perhaps they should be working on themselves rather than seeking a relationship. Matter of fact, I would say that someone with that level of inability to make a decision about themselves is using BDSM D/s as a crutch by seeking someone to determine that choice for them. To the point where I'd recommend counseling. When someone continually makes bad decisions, they share culpability right along with the person that takes advantage of those bad decisions. You're an adult, ultimately, you're responsible for your decisions. Doing it once, makes you a victim. Doing it over and over again makes you a volunteer. Or perhaps you'd prefer the other quote: The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different outcome. I entirely agree with you. I'm just saying that while common sense is definitely the best route, there are plenty of people out there who may not be in a position emotionally to use it. And may not even be aware of how badly they are treating themselves. Insanity? Most definitely.

allthatjaz -> RE: Honor, Responsibility, Dignity. (1/22/2010 2:14:24 AM)
I believe there are a number of people and I say people because this isn't just about men, its about women too, that prey on the vulnerable. I have mentioned sociopathic type behavior before and got shouted down for it but they say that 1 in every 25 people are sociopaths and so the chances of knowing 1 or 2 is very high. These sort of people are often using, manipulative, lying, emotionless and often sadistic people and so a vulnerable sub in their hands will become a victim. I'm not saying that everyone that treats a submissive like shit is a sociopath but that is always something that should be considered. I also think that a lot of these bullshit abusive Dom/Domees are inexperienced people from lala land. Imagine for example meeting a Dom who had only ever cybered in a chat dungeon rooms. He really does believe that he has to treat a sub like shit because that's exactly what he's been conditioned to believe! He really does thinks that a sub wants a good hard using and nothing much else because that's exactly what he's spent years on the keyboard doing! In general though, your very unlucky to meet up with either of the above, especially if your antenna is tuned in to this sort of behavior but that antenna only comes from experience and perhaps from tasting what good dominance really feels like. The people I mentioned above will always look out for newbies because they know they can't afford for the sub to have comparisons. Most and I do mean most dominants have good intentions. I have heard a lot more subs complaining that he was too soft, too lenient, too un-domly than subs complaining that he was too hard, too cold and bloody abusive.

LaTigresse -> RE: Honor, Responsibility, Dignity. (1/22/2010 6:43:23 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: ItsAProcess quote: ORIGINAL: littlewonder Wow that's a heavy burden you carry to feel shame to be called a man because some men in the world are assholes. Yer gonna break your back one day carrying that heavy load! Someone has to carry the burden. Somewhere. I don't resent it. Just be aware........sooner or later all white knights get knocked off their horses. Usually it's not one of those evil black knights doing it.

Jeffff -> RE: Honor, Responsibility, Dignity. (1/22/2010 6:48:08 AM)
I resent the judgment that someone needs to carry the weight of any misdeeds I have committed. I guarantee you that the number is higher than it was 30 years ago. I will bare the responsibility for my own actions thank you. Jeff

LaTigresse -> RE: Honor, Responsibility, Dignity. (1/22/2010 6:49:48 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: ItsAProcess Then there are the twisted, sadistic, evil sons of bitches who need to be castrated. And yes, I'm well aware some people are going to take offensive at my 'judgemental' attitude, but I stand by my opinion. I doubt many take offense. Your black and white views only limit yourself and the few human beings in your sphere. Some of us actually like being 'twisted, sadistic, evil sons of bitches'.........or in my case, leave out the 'sons of' part. Fortunately for us, there are people that like 'twisted, sadistic, evil...'

Jeffff -> RE: Honor, Responsibility, Dignity. (1/22/2010 6:59:26 AM)
Thats MY sweetie pie! Ward I meant that with honor, respect and dignity of course!

allthatjaz -> RE: Honor, Responsibility, Dignity. (1/22/2010 8:07:27 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LaTigresse quote: ORIGINAL: ItsAProcess quote: ORIGINAL: littlewonder Wow that's a heavy burden you carry to feel shame to be called a man because some men in the world are assholes. Yer gonna break your back one day carrying that heavy load! Someone has to carry the burden. Somewhere. I don't resent it. Just be aware........sooner or later all white knights get knocked off their horses. Usually it's not one of those evil black knights doing it. I have to agree with LaTigresse on this one. Perhaps its just badly worded but it cries out of 'White Knight Syndrome'. You should read up on that. There have been plenty of posts on here about it.

Jeffff -> RE: Honor, Responsibility, Dignity. (1/22/2010 8:12:41 AM)
It is insulting to many sub/slaves also. It implies they need saving. It implies they are too stupid to judge for themselves. Jeff

subtee -> RE: Honor, Responsibility, Dignity. (1/22/2010 8:44:21 AM)
If you say so...

Jeffff -> RE: Honor, Responsibility, Dignity. (1/22/2010 8:49:04 AM)
[8D]

subtee -> RE: Honor, Responsibility, Dignity. (1/22/2010 8:54:39 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Jeffff [8D] Is that dignified? Have you no honor? Seriously. [sm=flash.gif]

Jeffff -> RE: Honor, Responsibility, Dignity. (1/22/2010 8:56:05 AM)
Sorry, I slipped under the weight of all my Dominates! SuperMasterOwnerDom

subtee -> RE: Honor, Responsibility, Dignity. (1/22/2010 9:08:49 AM)
At least you take responsibility for the weighty ones, SMOD. [sm=weightlift.gif]

mc1234 -> RE: Honor, Responsibility, Dignity. (1/22/2010 10:59:50 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Jeffff It is insulting to many sub/slaves also. It implies they need saving. It implies they are too stupid to judge for themselves. Jeff Yes!!! exactly ...

HisEvelyn -> RE: Honor, Responsibility, Dignity. (1/22/2010 1:42:55 PM)
I can guarantee that my Master's views are not nearly so black and white as it may seem simply from his posts. He just believes very strongly in a code of morals and honor, and is occasionally overzealous in his wording. He certainly does not believe subs/slaves are stupid and need saving! He just takes the responsibility a Dom carries for the well-being of his pet very seriously. Again, he can be overzealous, but he often writes things out when he is feeling passionate, and it can come out a bit more strongly than really intended. My Master is a very open-minded person, and he teaches and trains me in a way that is very tolerant and accepting of many different ideas. It is him that reminds me to remain aware of how broad the world of BDSM is, and he who assures me how a submissive can be a strong and powerful personality even as she gives completely to her Master. I am exceedingly proud to be his.

AnimusRex -> RE: Honor, Responsibility, Dignity. (1/22/2010 2:27:11 PM)
Well, ok. I suppose the man's posts appear black and white, only because they ardently, stridently defend things that are so astoundingly obvious. He urges us to behave with Honor, Responsibility and Dignity. Well who could disagree with that? Not me, that's for sure. But that is kind of the problem, isn't it? Was this needing to be said? Will his next post be one in which he takes a strong, brave stand against the torture of little puppies? Allright, look. He seems like a fine young man. But the people that he has in mind- the evil, manipulative, self-centered people- are in many cases the very same people who expound for hours on Honor, Responsibility, and Dignity. The greatest trick the devil every played was convincing people he didn't exist; If I wanted to find the devil, the first place I would go looking is in a church. If I were to look for a wicked, bastardly Dominant, the first thing I would do is perform a search on profiles with the keywords Honor, Responsibility, and Dignity, the words which are the perfumed oils that evil people annoint themselves with, to cover the stench of their misdeeds. So yes, like your man, I believe that we should all act with Honor, Responsibility, and Dignity. But unlike him, I don't believe that the problem is that we do too little gassing on about it. These words are honorifics, things which cannot be self-annointed. Maybe instead of lusting after the badge of such words, we act with humility and sober self reflection, and allow others to decide if we are worthy of such grand descriptors as Honor, Responsibility, and Dignity.

HisEvelyn -> RE: Honor, Responsibility, Dignity. (1/22/2010 2:58:57 PM)
I completely understand your response, Animus. And thank you for being so candid about it. I believe some of the reason for my Master making this post was me. I recently confided in him about some of the more troubling and abusive situations of my past concerning other doms who were not in any way respectful of limits (or even telling me I could HAVE limits) or interested in giving me any knowledge that I could use to realize that they were being manipulative to me. I was naive and foolish at these past times, and I do take some responsibility for being so badly hurt and traumatized by these men. This combined with the fact that he has known other submissives who were badly treated by their dominants caused a flare-up of his anger about the subject. And thus he wrote a very strongly-worded post to express himself. Should such a topic need to be 'gassed on' about? No. The more time I spend here, the more I realize that any good Dominant (or any good person, really) already holds themselves to these standards. But sometimes when something negative is shoved in our face as happening to someone we care for, we might stress how that something is important, even if most people already know it. Because we are faced with a blatant disregard for that basic truth. Also, as has already been said, my Master is ex-military, which means these principles carry extra strong weight for him as opposed to most civilians (please note I say MOST! :) )) At no time does my Master ever arrogantly declare himself to be shining examples of these qualities. Only that he strives to embrace them and implement them as much as he can to improve himself as a person.

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