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RE: Wtf am I doing wrong? o.o - 1/25/2010 11:37:57 AM

Icarys

Posts: 5757
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyAngelika

quote:

ORIGINAL: Icarys
Okay did something wrong with that link lol.

http://www.collarchat.com/fb.asp?m=3027562

Just click on Post #27 and then copy the link in the pop up window :-)

- LA

Thank you.

_____________________________

submission - the feeling of patient, submissive humbleness - the state of being submissive or compliant; meekness.

Alaska Bound-The Official Countdown Has Started!
http://tinyurl.com/872mcu3
http://alturl.com/mog7m

(in reply to LadyAngelika)

Post #: 41

RE: Wtf am I doing wrong? o.o - 1/25/2010 11:40:18 AM

LadyAngelika

Posts: 8070
Joined: 7/4/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Icarys

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyAngelika

quote:

ORIGINAL: Icarys
Okay did something wrong with that link lol.

http://www.collarchat.com/fb.asp?m=3027562

Just click on Post #27 and then copy the link in the pop up window :-)

- LA

Thank you.

See? I still like you even if we disagree! :-)

And even if you do like Keanu! ;-)

- LA

_____________________________

Une main de fer dans un gant de velours ~ An iron hand in a velvet glove

(in reply to Icarys)

Post #: 42

RE: Wtf am I doing wrong? o.o - 1/25/2010 11:52:34 AM

Icarys

Posts: 5757
Status: offline

quote:

See? I still like you even if we disagree! :-)

And even if you do like Keanu! ;-)

- LA

Give it time

As for Keanu: Well I like his movie type..He's played in some movies that were interesting to me because of the topics..He's not one of my favorite actors for sure

_____________________________

submission - the feeling of patient, submissive humbleness - the state of being submissive or compliant; meekness.

Alaska Bound-The Official Countdown Has Started!
http://tinyurl.com/872mcu3
http://alturl.com/mog7m

(in reply to LadyAngelika)

Post #: 43

RE: Wtf am I doing wrong? o.o - 1/25/2010 12:00:14 PM

Lockit

Posts: 11292
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline

Watch Keanu in Sweet November... I see d/s all over that movie! lol

And I want one! hehe

_____________________________

No matter how old a woman gets, some men will think she was born yesterday! ROFL... I love this place!

(in reply to Icarys)

Post #: 44

RE: Wtf am I doing wrong? o.o - 1/25/2010 12:01:15 PM

LadyAngelika

Posts: 8070
Joined: 7/4/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Lockit

Watch Keanu in Sweet November... I see d/s all over that movie! lol

And I want one! hehe

I'll put him in the cloning machine too! Special order for Lockit!

- LA

< Message edited by LadyAngelika -- 1/25/2010 12:02:00 PM >

_____________________________

Une main de fer dans un gant de velours ~ An iron hand in a velvet glove

(in reply to Lockit)

Post #: 45

RE: Wtf am I doing wrong? o.o - 1/25/2010 12:02:27 PM

lally2

Posts: 2621
Joined: 4/16/2009
Status: offline

i so relate to the OPs problem. i loathe writing profiles and it was much worse when i really had no idea what i was talking about or how to find what i was looking for when my experience was pretty limited.

my advice to the OP: you are by definition Dom, that is who you identify as. just in this thread youve come through as someone with integrity and a desire for absolute honesty. trust youre instincts in describing youreself as someone with a Dominant personality, what you feel is important in a Ds or Ms relationship.

youre in a catch 22 situation right now, no experience when experience is required. so yep, munches for chatting, clubs to watch and maybe participate in, play parties. theres a whole bunch of stuff out there.

have fun and relax (most important!) - youve discovered what you want and you want it NOW - be patient, itll come.

_____________________________

So all I have to do in order to serve him, is to work out exactly how improbable he is, feed that figure into the finite improbability generator, give him a fresh cup of really hot tea ... and turn him on!

(in reply to Icarys)

Post #: 46

RE: Wtf am I doing wrong? o.o - 1/25/2010 12:02:58 PM

Rhodes85

Posts: 445
Joined: 11/15/2008
From: Nova Scotia, Canada
Status: offline

quote:

I'm forward, I'm not being a creeper in most of my messages

Erm...most....?

_____________________________

This is a test of the Emergency Broadcast System. Had this been an actual emergency you would all be dead by now. Have a nice day and remember: Friends don't let friends vote Republican.

(in reply to LadyAngelika)

Post #: 47

RE: Wtf am I doing wrong? o.o - 1/25/2010 12:41:32 PM

DarkRomancer

Posts: 10
Joined: 10/17/2009
Status: offline

Hey, they can't all be perfect :P

(in reply to Rhodes85)

Post #: 48

RE: Wtf am I doing wrong? o.o - 1/25/2010 12:54:26 PM

dragonseeker

Posts: 554
Status: offline

found this online ... don't know if they are still active
VANCOUVER MUNCH
We here at The Vancouver Munch are dedicated to the betterment of the local BDSM community. As such, we host two Munches and one Online Chat Night every month, plus Special Events as possible. Although we are located in Vancouver, Washington, we welcome kink-minded friends from all around. We like to provide a safe and friendly atmosphere where people can meet new friends, share their experiences, and even learn new things. We are a pansexual group open to all levels of experience, from complete novice to long-time player. We believe in safe, sane and consensual play. If you share our interests and beliefs, we would love to hear from you!
Time: Every second Tuesday and fourth Thursday from 5:00 p.m. until 9:00 p.m.
Place: El Presidente, 312 East Evergreen, Vancouver, WA
Web Site: www.vancouvermunch.com
Contact: Munch Master | E-Mail: [email protected]

_____________________________

slave kamile

signed, sealed, delivered... i'm owned

i reject your reality and substitute my own

(in reply to DarkRomancer)

Post #: 49

RE: Wtf am I doing wrong? o.o - 1/25/2010 12:54:35 PM

Icarys

Posts: 5757
Status: offline

Yes as lally has stated..Be patient.

I've been looking for the last 50 years (I'm now 75) and you don't see me giving up..Now do you?

_____________________________

submission - the feeling of patient, submissive humbleness - the state of being submissive or compliant; meekness.

Alaska Bound-The Official Countdown Has Started!
http://tinyurl.com/872mcu3
http://alturl.com/mog7m

(in reply to DarkRomancer)

Post #: 50

RE: Wtf am I doing wrong? o.o - 1/25/2010 1:31:50 PM

Rochsub2009

Posts: 2536
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: DarkRomancer

Much as I don't really want to, I suppose it's best if I add more about myself on my actual profile. ...Just as soon as I think of some stuff to put there. Sometimes it's kind of hard to see myself objectively, so that makes things a bit difficult. I hate trying to present a skewed perspective of myself. Honesty has always been one of my defining principles, so...

Make sure that you say that you love puppies. Women love that. In fact, replace your picture with a picture of a puppy, and you'll get more responses than you can handle.

(in reply to DarkRomancer)

Post #: 51

RE: Wtf am I doing wrong? o.o - 1/25/2010 1:35:19 PM

LadyAngelika

Posts: 8070
Joined: 7/4/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Rochsub2009

quote:

ORIGINAL: DarkRomancer

Much as I don't really want to, I suppose it's best if I add more about myself on my actual profile. ...Just as soon as I think of some stuff to put there. Sometimes it's kind of hard to see myself objectively, so that makes things a bit difficult. I hate trying to present a skewed perspective of myself. Honesty has always been one of my defining principles, so...

Make sure that you say that you love puppies. Women love that. In fact, replace your picture with a picture of a puppy, and you'll get more responses than you can handle.

Or even better, put a collar and leash around your neck and make puppy dog eyes!

Oh wait... you want to attract submissive women... oh yeah....

- LA

_____________________________

Une main de fer dans un gant de velours ~ An iron hand in a velvet glove

(in reply to Rochsub2009)

Post #: 52

RE: Wtf am I doing wrong? o.o - 1/25/2010 1:37:51 PM

Rochsub2009

Posts: 2536
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyAngelika

Or even better, put a collar and leash around your neck and make puppy dog eyes!

Now where did i put my collar and leash?

(in reply to LadyAngelika)

Post #: 53

RE: Wtf am I doing wrong? o.o - 1/25/2010 2:01:51 PM

kiwisub12

Posts: 4742
Joined: 1/11/2006
Status: offline

OP - one thing you might do is describe your idea of "attractive" as in woman. If i were a sweet young thing, i might be backwards about contacting you because i would be mortified if you thought i was less than beautiful. It can be as basic as "average weight, love long hair and think blue eyes are sexy". Of course, you would'nt want to burn too many bridges with the short hair, brown eyed, slightly over weight bunch.

(in reply to Rochsub2009)

Post #: 54

RE: Wtf am I doing wrong? o.o - 1/25/2010 2:19:45 PM

Icarys

Posts: 5757
Status: offline

quote:

Of course, you would'nt want to burn too many bridges with the short hair, brown eyed, slightly over weight bunch.

I say OP: Screw those short haired. brown eyed women and the bridges those slightly overweight bitches are walking on! Give me a blond or red head any day!

_____________________________

submission - the feeling of patient, submissive humbleness - the state of being submissive or compliant; meekness.

Alaska Bound-The Official Countdown Has Started!
http://tinyurl.com/872mcu3
http://alturl.com/mog7m

(in reply to kiwisub12)

Post #: 55

RE: Wtf am I doing wrong? o.o - 1/25/2010 2:21:45 PM

InvisibleBlack

Posts: 865
Joined: 7/24/2009
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: DarkRomancer

Okay, so here's the deal; yes, I am new to the scene, yes you could probably say I'm inexperienced. Strike that, you could definitely say I'm inexperienced. However since joining Collarme, I've had a total of one person respond to my messages. Just one, and that's because we struck up a conversation about mmorpgs.

Okay, here's my ten cents worth.

The sad fact is, you're just going to have to accept the fact that the vast majority of e-mails you send out, no matter how much time and effort you spend in crafting them, will be ignored. While I think that there are more earnest and sincere submissive women out there than there are honest and sincere Doms - there's a vast ocean of idiots, wannabes, players and annoyances out there. Your message is one in a sea of noise and in attempting to weed through the mess in her inbox, that sub you just mailed might delete your mail unread or pay it the tiniest of cursory attention before discarding it. That's just the way it is.

If you want my advice - the goal of a message is to get to read your profile. You want your message to be short (5-6 sentences, one good paragraph), interesting and intriguing.

The goal of your profile is to get her to message you. There should be enough there that she has some idea of who you are what you want and a sense of whether or not you'd be compatible. Be honest. Be yourself. If your dream sub is going to play WoW with you, like going out to jazz clubs, and love being tied up - say so. If your dream sub is going to be a sexy librarian who's going to oragnize your book and CD collections whom you'll be spanking for filing Jethro Tull under 'T' and not 'J' - say so. If your dream sub is going to be suspended from your bedroom ceiling and tortured for your amsuement, say so.

If you don't know what it is that you want - hey - say that you're looking for someone equally inexperienced or with little experience but an open mind and an eagerness to experiment so that you can grow and learn together.

There isn't really a right or wrong in what you want - even the most extreme fetishist can find someone who meets their needs.

In all honesty, most of the mail I send dies a lonely death. I get far more mail in response to my posting in these forums. Get more involved in the boards or in the chatrooms and odds are you'll start interacting with people and hopefully click withsomeone.

Oh. Yeah. Welcome to the boards, dude. Nice to meet you!

< Message edited by InvisibleBlack -- 1/25/2010 2:23:30 PM >

_____________________________

Consider the daffodil. And while you're doing that, I'll be over here, looking through your stuff.

(in reply to DarkRomancer)

Post #: 56

RE: Wtf am I doing wrong? o.o - 1/25/2010 2:23:22 PM

kiwisub12

Posts: 4742
Joined: 1/11/2006
Status: offline

Hey! - this thread isn't about you!!

(in reply to Icarys)

Post #: 57

RE: Wtf am I doing wrong? o.o - 1/25/2010 2:23:58 PM

Aileen1968

Posts: 6062
Joined: 12/12/2007
From: I miss Shore, New Jersey
Status: offline

Personally, for me it never mattered what someone didn't write in a profile. Meaning, I would talk to people who had nothing in their profile but had an interesting first email. I wouldn't talk to anyone who had stupid or disgusting things in their profile. Complete ignore.
Some people are better within an email exchange and some are better in their ad.
I also don't think public venues and munches will work for everyone. I've only gone to those things for pure curiosity.

I think the best way to put yourself out there is here, on this side. If you come across as somewhat functional, you'll connect with someone.

< Message edited by Aileen1968 -- 1/25/2010 2:24:44 PM >

_____________________________

(in reply to DarkRomancer)

Post #: 58

RE: Wtf am I doing wrong? o.o - 1/25/2010 2:25:27 PM

GotSteel

Posts: 5871
Joined: 2/19/2008
Status: offline

Could it be possible that listing knife play is scaring some people off?

My advice would be to spend more time participating in the forums, it's an easy way to strike up conversations and get to know people in the lifestyle.

(in reply to kiwisub12)

Post #: 59

RE: Wtf am I doing wrong? o.o - 1/25/2010 2:56:35 PM

Elisabella

Posts: 3939
Status: offline

-FR-

You say you're looking for submissive women but then you go on to say how you're really mostly a sub, and you reminisce about being dominated.

That's why sub women don't want a switch. We're afraid that he won't be dominant with us, that he'll get submissive sometimes. By saying "I could go either way" and that you had to dig to get your dominant side out, it sounds to a submissive woman like you are trying to force yourself into a dom role because you can't find a good domme.

So when a woman gets a message and checks your profile, she sees "Here's a guy who doesn't have experience dominating, but who enjoys submitting, who tends to space out a lot (hopefully not during play! but you can't know if you do because you haven't topped yet!) and is so neurotic that he himself realizes he is." There's really nothing positive about you in your profile, just a whole bunch of negatives.

I would recommend focusing on different parts of yourself in your profile as most submissive women want a man who is confident in his ability to dominate (even if the specific bdsm skills aren't honed yet) who is direct and commanding rather than spacey and neurotic, and most importantly they don't want to have to worry that their dom is going to suddenly go sub on them.

< Message edited by Elisabella -- 1/25/2010 3:00:05 PM >

(in reply to GotSteel)

Post #: 60

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