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Dating and D/s - 3/24/2006 7:45:07 PM

MontaukDaisies

Posts: 130
Joined: 2/24/2006
Status: offline

My first posting...

Statement: Although I'm sure some people will disagree with me, I am finding it next to impossible to find a Dominant who wants to go out places, do things, entertain friends who aren't clad in leather 24/7, make memories, share time together NOT just while playing, NOT just while in the bedroom.

Question: Is there a Dominant (experienced in BDSM, single, a parent and over 40yo) in the NYC area who wants a girlfriend AND submissive partner? Here I am. I don't NEED nor want a f*ck buddy.

I think D/s relationships are the epitome of chivalry, romance and intimacy.. elegant even in the throes of whore passion! Anyone want to comment?

_____________________________

~The true measure of a Man is to notice what He does when no one else is looking, when He is guided by His own sense of right and wrong.~

Post #: 1

RE: Dating and D/s - 3/24/2006 8:02:36 PM

harmony3709

Posts: 292
Joined: 11/15/2004
Status: offline

When I was unattached, anyone who talked about sex, play, sceneing, etc. in the first email conversation, maybe even the second, was pretty much discounted as a potential relationship. Like you, I was looking for someone I wanted to be with -- and who wanted to be with me -- when I wasn't tied up or he wasn't holding a whip. Conversation and similar interests were paramount.

In other words -- we had to have the vanilla right in addition to the D/s part.

Did it make it tougher and the search longer? Hell, yes.

Do I regret the weeding through all those looking for a playmate until I (almost accidentally) was blessed to meet someone who was compatible in all ways? Hell, no.

If you want a relationship with someone and all that entails -- vanilla and lifestyle -- then stick to your guns and don't settle.

I know it's said all the time -- but it is true. Wait and kiss a lot of frogs. Ultimately, you'll be glad you did.

Blessed be and good luck in finding your heart's desires,
Harmony
Proud Slave of Pyro

P.S. Welcome to the boards!

< Message edited by harmony3709 -- 3/24/2006 8:03:23 PM >

(in reply to MontaukDaisies)

Post #: 2

RE: Dating and D/s - 3/24/2006 8:17:41 PM

TemptingNviceSub

Posts: 3054
Joined: 10/1/2005
Status: offline

To the OP...(smile)..Welcome to the boards!...Well I am not from NY however I am sure New Yorkers are categoried in the human race..It is all about timing,you are not unique in what you seek.In time you will find your fit.There are many here on CM who have found their S.O. and we're glad they did not lose heart..Now this may take days ,months ,years.You just dont know..so just sit back and enjoy the journey,,oohh and you may want to stock up on chapstick ,as yes you will kiss many a frog!..be well..tempting

(in reply to harmony3709)

Post #: 3

RE: Dating and D/s - 3/24/2006 8:26:11 PM

Rayne58

Posts: 746
Joined: 2/22/2005
From: Sydney Australia
Status: offline

They are out there, I found one when I wasn't even looking!

The friendship was there first, then the romance and the D/s is the icing on the cake. I was a complete novice when we met, now I know where I truly belong. We are lovers, best friends and Master and submissive.

Good luck in your search, it may take a while but it'll definitely be worth it in the long run

(in reply to MontaukDaisies)

Post #: 4

RE: Dating and D/s - 3/24/2006 9:09:43 PM

slavejali

Posts: 2918
Status: offline

MontaukDaisies,

They exist.

Master take me fine dining, to art shows, to fairs and exhibits, to theme parks, for picnics on the beach, walks in the park, we practice Taekwondo 4 days a week, we take holidays, go visit places, go rafting, hiking... and we entertain friends...and....neither Master or myself have worn leather in years..well he does possess a few leather belts....oh and he looks amazing in a pair of jeans with his boots that have a silver ring on the side (god I love him in boots)...our Master/slave relationship is *just there*...it isnt dependent on the types of things we do or what we wear. However in whatever we do, wherever we are, there is always potential for play. You just need to find a Master who has a vast variety of interests other than partying and/or purely kinky bedroom sex.
I dunno, I used to do the whole club scene thing, so did Master..maybe we are just getting old *grin* I do get niggles from time to time to be around other lifestylers, its just not gonna happen where we live right now.

< Message edited by slavejali -- 3/24/2006 9:13:16 PM >

(in reply to Rayne58)

Post #: 5

RE: Dating and D/s - 3/24/2006 9:31:36 PM

LuckyAlbatross

Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MontaukDaisies

My first posting...

Statement: Although I'm sure some people will disagree with me, I am finding it next to impossible to find a Dominant who wants to go out places, do things, entertain friends who aren't clad in leather 24/7, make memories, share time together NOT just while playing, NOT just while in the bedroom.

Question: Is there a Dominant (experienced in BDSM, single, a parent and over 40yo) in the NYC area who wants a girlfriend AND submissive partner? Here I am. I don't NEED nor want a f*ck buddy.

I think D/s relationships are the epitome of chivalry, romance and intimacy.. elegant even in the throes of whore passion! Anyone want to comment?

I find it amusing that you make a statement about whore passion right after talking about finding it frustrating finding a partner who isn't all about leather and sex.

The answer is- of course there is. And the other ones make it easy to eliminate.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to MontaukDaisies)

Post #: 6

RE: Dating and D/s - 3/24/2006 10:29:30 PM

sub4hire

Posts: 6775
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

There are millions of tops out there. Many doms out there. It is like finding a needle in a haystack. You just have to start searching and in time you will find the needle.
It usually happens when you least expect it.

(in reply to MontaukDaisies)

Post #: 7

RE: Dating and D/s - 3/24/2006 10:43:06 PM

Sirandlittle1

Posts: 538
Joined: 12/22/2005
Status: offline

Chivalry in a Dom, has me running wet, fast. His romantic fantasy, was to have a 'lady' who he could turn into his 'slut' in the same person. I dreamed i would be up on a pedastal. Worshipped for what i can be for him. I am. Romance is flourishing here in Australia.
I can go the whole hog, get dressed up like some victorian herroine, i have a wonderful time in my head at least.

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)

Post #: 8

RE: Dating and D/s - 3/25/2006 4:33:49 AM

MontaukDaisies

Posts: 130
Joined: 2/24/2006
Status: offline

Lucky Albatross..

The entire statement (which included the term you found "amusing" about whore passion) was meant to show the entirety of a relationship - both D/s, BDSM and chivalrous romance.

Just to clarify.

Glad I made you "chuckle" if that's what you meant by being amused.

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)

Post #: 9

RE: Dating and D/s - 3/25/2006 7:58:42 AM

LuckyAlbatross

Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MontaukDaisies

Lucky Albatross..

The entire statement (which included the term you found "amusing" about whore passion) was meant to show the entirety of a relationship - both D/s, BDSM and chivalrous romance.

Just to clarify.

Glad I made you "chuckle" if that's what you meant by being amused.

But my local partner, who I am not in a Ds relationship with, woke up early this morning, left a cold Pepsi on the bed for me, stole my keys and went to get my car cleaned and washed.

That's pretty chivalrous, romantic and intimate for me.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to MontaukDaisies)

Post #: 10

RE: Dating and D/s - 3/25/2006 2:54:24 PM

MontaukDaisies

Posts: 130
Joined: 2/24/2006
Status: offline

Awesome!

If that's your idea of romance, I bet you smiled as you stretched and started your morning! :)

Enjoy!

_____________________________

~The true measure of a Man is to notice what He does when no one else is looking, when He is guided by His own sense of right and wrong.~

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)

Post #: 11

RE: Dating and D/s - 3/25/2006 4:04:53 PM

mysecret40

Posts: 47
Joined: 11/3/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MontaukDaisies

My first posting...

Statement: Although I'm sure some people will disagree with me, I am finding it next to impossible to find a Dominant who wants to go out places, do things, entertain friends who aren't clad in leather 24/7, make memories, share time together NOT just while playing, NOT just while in the bedroom.

Question: Is there a Dominant (experienced in BDSM, single, a parent and over 40yo) in the NYC area who wants a girlfriend AND submissive partner? Here I am. I don't NEED nor want a f*ck buddy.

I think D/s relationships are the epitome of chivalry, romance and intimacy.. elegant even in the throes of whore passion! Anyone want to comment?
Welcome MontaukDaisies:)
I'm with you on finding the right one~! Takes time, and there are so many flavors of D/S that realizing finding your match...the other side of your coin does take time. And oh the assholes you will meet along the way`! They think they are all that and a bag of chips~! lol...so funny when I read some of these emails, or profiles....oh just to have to weed them out. You will find a ton of self proclaimed Doms,...actually
they just want kinky sex...you will find the ones that just want "play" partners if and when it suits them...the married ones...the ones that think offering you a place to live and simply serve them is a "gift". But finding someone who truly wants to live a life with you....and to have this wonderful dynamic of D/S= challenge. I live local to New York too....I have heard there are some great upcoming events now that spring is here,.....perhaps get out and acclimated is a good idea?
secret

(in reply to MontaukDaisies)

Post #: 12

RE: Dating and D/s - 3/25/2006 6:53:25 PM

littlesarbonn

Posts: 1710
Joined: 12/3/2005
From: Stockton, California
Status: offline

No offense intended, but looking at your profile, you are limiting your choices to a very tiny segment of the population (especially the age range). That's fine if that's what you have as hard limits and desires but you're going to have very few in number to pick and choose while trying to fit in every other category that might be important to you.

And no, this isn't from some disgruntled master who doesn't fit your criteria. I'm in the age range but I'm just not a dominant. But I thought the input might be helpful if you should harbor the desire to cast your net out to catch more "fish".

(in reply to MontaukDaisies)

Post #: 13

RE: Dating and D/s - 3/25/2006 7:25:36 PM

faithNZ

Posts: 82
Joined: 11/28/2004
From: New Zealand
Status: offline

Yep, I'm also looking for a partner first and a Dominant second. The way that my mind works, I can't help but feel that it would be the best way to do things and I'm not looking to get into a strictly D/s relationship. I'm looking for a combination of D/s and vanilla - but living in New Zealand, it's not particularly easy, especially when I'm not looking to relocate any time soon.

_____________________________

I'm unique - just like everyone else

http://www.slaveregister.com/751-990-923

(in reply to littlesarbonn)

Post #: 14

RE: Dating and D/s - 3/26/2006 8:10:02 AM

MontaukDaisies

Posts: 130
Joined: 2/24/2006
Status: offline

I understand what you're saying.. my choices are based on many years in and out of relationships .. having honed in on the very things that I cannot compromise on.

Thank you for your input! All the best, MD

quote:

ORIGINAL: littlesarbonn

No offense intended, but looking at your profile, you are limiting your choices to a very tiny segment of the population (especially the age range). That's fine if that's what you have as hard limits and desires but you're going to have very few in number to pick and choose while trying to fit in every other category that might be important to you.

And no, this isn't from some disgruntled master who doesn't fit your criteria. I'm in the age range but I'm just not a dominant. But I thought the input might be helpful if you should harbor the desire to cast your net out to catch more "fish".

_____________________________

~The true measure of a Man is to notice what He does when no one else is looking, when He is guided by His own sense of right and wrong.~

(in reply to littlesarbonn)

Post #: 15

RE: Dating and D/s - 3/26/2006 8:11:44 AM

MontaukDaisies

Posts: 130
Joined: 2/24/2006
Status: offline

I understand what you mean about not moving. I've promised my sons that I will not move them from this home we have together ever. ... and PS.. how the heck can ANY good relationship be one dimensional??? and work!!

quote:

ORIGINAL: faithNZ

Yep, I'm also looking for a partner first and a Dominant second. The way that my mind works, I can't help but feel that it would be the best way to do things and I'm not looking to get into a strictly D/s relationship. I'm looking for a combination of D/s and vanilla - but living in New Zealand, it's not particularly easy, especially when I'm not looking to relocate any time soon.

_____________________________

~The true measure of a Man is to notice what He does when no one else is looking, when He is guided by His own sense of right and wrong.~

(in reply to faithNZ)

Post #: 16

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