RE: What qualities does a partner need to have for you to submit? (Full Version)

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RCdc -> RE: What qualities does a partner need to have for you to submit? (1/27/2010 1:24:30 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: AAkasha
Are there personality quirks or aspects that strongly impact your perception of dominance and your capacity for submission, either way?

Akasha


I used to believe there was.  But then discovered that you cannot dictate to submission.

the.dark.



RCdc -> RE: What qualities does a partner need to have for you to submit? (1/27/2010 1:26:23 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: osf

i need someone with feathers


Ooooo.... a fellow pteraphile...[;)]

the.dark.



eyesopened -> RE: What qualities does a partner need to have for you to submit? (1/27/2010 4:38:55 AM)

It would seem like everyone knows what "submit to" means except me.  I don't understand it at all.  All I know is that I submit (yeild to authority) all the time to anything and everything that has authority in the same degree that the authority is exercised.  I stop at stop signs which is an implied authority of some governing entity.  I will "walk this way" when a restaurant hostess tells me to.  I will not sit on wet paint.  I will go the direction the traffic cop indicates even if that's not the direction I intended to go. 

So in order for me to submit to authority, I have to know that the authority exists.

In order for me to submit to my Master, I had to be willing to recognize His authority over me.  In other words, it had to be a shift in my thinking.  Now if I had to name a quality that shifted my thinking would be integrity, I suppose but then I know a lot of people with integrity to whom I am not nor would not be a slave.  I guess I had to open up enough to allow the exercise of authority and to that I am hardwired to submit.



smothrme -> RE: What qualities does a partner need to have for you to submit? (1/27/2010 6:38:47 AM)

There are a few things that will turn me off. One is personal hygiene, I dont consider myself to be a Felix Unger type of guy being over critical or even a neat freak or a fashion cop
but personal hygiene says alot about the person such as their priorities, I would think that personal hygiene has to be right there at the top unless the person is dysfunctional in some way and in that case they may be lacking intelligence which brings me to my knees and also tells me they may be unhealthy physically also. you mentioned dressing up and though it is a big plus for me it is not a deal breaker. The main quality that does it for me is the way She presents herself, if she has self confidence, assertiveness, is aggresssive
and wants control and takes it Im done. I like a Domme who knows she has the power and with just a look will say to me "you and I both know your mine if I choose to have you and I may". Another thing that does not do it for me is to be treated as sub human, in certain situations a little abuse is ok if that is what pleases her but 24/7 can get under your skin after a while.



MasterSlaveLA -> RE: What qualities does a partner need to have for you to submit? (1/27/2010 3:41:07 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: AAkasha

...partner need to have for you to submit?


A large club!!! [;)]



[image]local://upfiles/687741/920FE33F1A464262AB3670A22BFAE1D6.gif[/image]



CaringandReal -> RE: What qualities does a partner need to have for you to submit? (1/27/2010 6:13:02 PM)

Compelled... Smart, extroverted, charming, emotionally perceptive, aggressive, great sense of timing (the latter is really important), and very controlling, very sadistic. Interests as sick as mine would be nice, but I'll settle for almost as sick. ;)

What I don't like is a short list, and all of the things on it (well, except for the moustaches) have to do with things that would make the person not feel fully dominant to me. Passivity probably tops this list.

I don't care particularly about most beliefs, behavior, habits, gender (or desired gender), fetishes, appearance (with the noted exception), or non-sexual interests; that stuff is not essential, and I am very adaptable and open-minded. But I do absolutely insist that the person be able to control me.




HisSweetElysium -> RE: What qualities does a partner need to have for you to submit? (1/27/2010 7:17:26 PM)

More things turn me off than on, I'm pretty picky about those who dominate me.  Like a lot of people, I have been burnt in relationships over the years, so there's plenty of things that are immediate red flags to me, possibly erroneously but I can't help how I feel. 

turn offs-- ignorance, rudeness, poor hygiene, overweight, lacking in social graces (i.e. inability to verbally communicate in social settings) atrocious spelling, facial hair, lack of hair on head, serious body hair, mental instability, financial instability, meanness, unpredictability, poly proclivities.  There's a few...

turn ons--confidence, tall, thin, educated, dominant, aggressive without being a jack ass about it, charismatic, motivated, highly intelligent, and well, everything the opposite of above!  [:D]



FelineFae -> RE: What qualities does a partner need to have for you to submit? (1/27/2010 7:33:01 PM)

i think it's something on an animal level. If i feel another's spirit, life-force, or soul is stronger ( alpha ) than mine, i submit.
The level of submission is in relation to the depth of the relationship.
To my Master, i give all.
i hope that makes sence.
-fae



sexyred1 -> RE: What qualities does a partner need to have for you to submit? (1/27/2010 8:50:55 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: AnimusRex


quote:

ORIGINAL: humble75
I like someone who will have me on edge, kinda scared and uneasy. Also, someone who makes me feel naked and bare, like I cant hide from them.


I know where you live.
Your photos cover my walls, I have your high school yearbooks open on my homemade altar.
I paint your face with my semen and blood, filling entire notebooks with our names together.
I stand outside your bedroom window sometimes watching you as I snap my straightrazor open and shut thinking of how that blood pulses so beautifully beneath that velvet skin wanting to open you up and crawl inside you and wear you like a second skin as the voices shriek ever louder redrum redrum REDRUM!


Horny yet?


Oh God, yes!! I think I just saw you on an episode of Criminal Minds...



littleone35 -> RE: What qualities does a partner need to have for you to submit? (1/28/2010 10:47:49 AM)

For me it is feeling cared for, safe
Honesty
Integrty
And a least to me a sense of humor is essential.
Condfience
Intelligence

Turn offs: rude
sadistic
bad hygene
sloppy
unable to open up to me


This is just a basic list in no particular order there is more, but if i wrote that be here all day.

Matt's littleone



Lucienne -> RE: What qualities does a partner need to have for you to submit? (1/28/2010 10:50:07 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: osf


quote:

ORIGINAL: littlebitxxx

quote:

ORIGINAL: osf

i need someone with feathers


Looks like you already got her eating out of your hand  <grin>



she is demanding grape tribute


You crack me up.



marsneedswomen -> RE: What qualities does a partner need to have for you to submit? (1/28/2010 10:59:11 AM)

Mainly that they are mentally balanced and happy with their lives and want you to be a part of their life.



UniqueRaven -> RE: What qualities does a partner need to have for you to submit? (1/28/2010 11:09:51 AM)

i've posted this before....i can submit to anybody, really, or even anything. Heck, i could submit to my poodle right now if you wanted me to, or the chair i'm sitting in, it's simple, i have no issues with handing over my body for use. Submission for me is simply an action, and it's one that i don't attach any emotional "meaning" to.

One of the reasons i don't play casually or even go to BDSM clubs or play parties is because it's too easy for me to get into a situation that i shouldn't be in. My brain works in such a way that if a Dominant man or woman wants to use me, and approaches me as such, it is very, very hard for me to resist. i have more than once just handed myself over and been thinking in my mind "what the HECK am i doing with this person" and yet, i can't say No. i have found that to protect my value as property (meaning me) it is much better for me to live in "hibernation" as i call it, away from situations where i might get myself into trouble, until such time as i am owned again.

And that is actually something i greatly need an Owner for, to protect me in some ways from myself, and give me that "safe space" to just exist and just be for him. And then he owns my submission, and decides how it's used - not me.

So really for me is the question is not who to submit to, it is who to have own me, and what qualities would i prefer he have as an Owner in order for me to be the most fulfilled as his property. But that's a different discussion. [:)]

(edited for clarity)



flogger -> RE: What qualities does a partner need to have for you to submit? (1/28/2010 11:21:29 AM)

Im going to be honest, don't know at all until it happens.



HisEvelyn -> RE: What qualities does a partner need to have for you to submit? (1/28/2010 12:13:31 PM)

I could only submit to a Dominant that I trusted to have my best interests at heart.  A strong personality, not afraid to exert control over me in whatever way he sees fit (within my hard limits), but has a true desire to not do harm to me emotionally.

Intelligence and enough compassion to listen when I'm feeling weak or uncertain.  I have certain limitations that simply cannot be pushed too far without quite literally snapping my sanity, and I need a Master who can understand that and adjust his dominance to meet both our needs.

So... in a nutshell, strong and powerful enough to command my respect and submission.  But compassionate and self-aware enough to soften a bit when I really need understanding.



sexyred1 -> RE: What qualities does a partner need to have for you to submit? (1/28/2010 12:16:37 PM)

Points up...what she said.



HisEvelyn -> RE: What qualities does a partner need to have for you to submit? (1/28/2010 12:19:36 PM)

Stop being so similar to me, Red.  I'm going to have to snuggle you if you don't! :)



LillyoftheVally -> RE: What qualities does a partner need to have for you to submit? (1/28/2010 12:23:50 PM)

I could say they have to be smart but I've met smart people who make me feel as submissive as Elizabeth I, I could say attractive but I have submitted totally to people I haven't been attracted to, I could say strength but what the hell is that.

It is a shit answer but the only honest one I have, they need to have it, I don't know what it is, I don't know what creates the chemistry I just know most people don't have it and the people who do make me unbelievably happy



sexyred1 -> RE: What qualities does a partner need to have for you to submit? (1/28/2010 12:58:52 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: HisEvelyn

Stop being so similar to me, Red.  I'm going to have to snuggle you if you don't! :)


That's ok, snuggle away. :) [sm=needahug.gif]



VirginPotty -> RE: What qualities does a partner need to have for you to submit? (1/28/2010 1:02:16 PM)

I need to feel SAFE w/him.
He has to have a sense of humor.
Thankfully I found the right one for me. I feel completely safe AND he makes me laugh.[:D]



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