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Dom and Family - 1/27/2010 5:53:50 PM

DominusJ

Posts: 12
Joined: 1/21/2010
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Hello forum ppl!
I'm interested to know if you ever had to choose between your Dominant part of the relation and your family,
not because of something your Master/Mistress asked you or did, but because of your family reaction to your lifestyle.
If you encounter such a situation, in rl, how did you communicate the matter to your Master/Mistress?

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RE: Dom and Family - 1/27/2010 5:59:50 PM

DesFIP

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
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He's not an asshole, so there is no reason why I would have to choose.
What my family, father, siblings and children all want for me is for me to be happy. They see him take care of me and treat me well. They see I am more relaxed and less anxious when with him.

I can't see any reason someone would have to choose except in the case of a very young girl who is financially dependent on her parents to put her through school and who has gotten involved with someone twice her age who is dictating to her what she can and can't do but not taking any of the responsibility of getting her into adulthood.

If my college kid got involved with someone like that, I'd get rid of him quick. Because in such a scenario that's a person who wants all of the perks but none of the responsibilities. And she deserves someone better than such a user.

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RE: Dom and Family - 1/27/2010 6:26:31 PM

littlewonder

Posts: 15659
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No.
No reason to choose because we don't go around announcing we like to have rough sex or that he likes to dominate me and I like to be beat.
We just look like the typical traditional couple and my family is used to that since it's how we grew up...husband as head of household, wife follows.
Plus we're all adults and my sisters already know I'm strange. They just shake their heads and then we start talking about who's going to buy mom the refrigerator for her bday.

(in reply to DesFIP)

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RE: Dom and Family - 1/27/2010 6:29:59 PM

lovingpet

Posts: 4270
Joined: 6/19/2005
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Neither of our families would be very open minded about the details of our relationship. We both value privacy when it comes to family very highly. There is one aspect that is going to prove a little difficult to navigate, but we are well aware of the inherent issues and have to resolve them before moving forward in those areas.

The thing is, I doubt my family would be wholly on board with the inner workings of my mostly vanilla relationship either. Some things just aren't for outside consumption. Some things are a tad easier to keep private than others though. My guess is there have been little details about most people's private lives that has leaked out into areas where it wasn't intended. All one can do is accept that those moments in which you are exposed being yourself will help determine who really loves the REAL you. My family wouldn't reject me for some of the things I'm into. Others they would as well as responding in other more active ways.

The fact is that I have the responsibility for determining what gets public exposure and what doesn't. If I fail in that, then I only have myself to blame for any fallout from that. I am very careful, as is my partner. We understand that our families are special to us and that disclosure is not healthy in our particular circumstances. This is a pretty significant area of compatability as far as I have been able to understand it. I never want to HAVE to choose between my family and my partner/lifestyle, so it is important to me to have some level of privacy. Since he is in much the same situation, we don't have a conflict.

lovingpet

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(in reply to DesFIP)

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RE: Dom and Family - 1/27/2010 6:52:10 PM

HisSweetElysium

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Joined: 11/12/2009
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quote:

ORIGINAL: littlewonder

No.
No reason to choose because we don't go around announcing we like to have rough sex or that he likes to dominate me and I like to be beat.

Exactly, most people, families included, think we're a very nice couple. His family adores me; more than any other woman He's dated, mine likes Him a great deal. We are both very respectful of each other in public, there would never be a reason to choose.

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(in reply to littlewonder)

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RE: Dom and Family - 1/27/2010 7:12:13 PM

FelineFae

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Joined: 1/23/2009
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Hello OP

,

Somethings don't stay secret. Some time ago, my family learned details about my marriage/life and they didn't like the details.
They looked up things online to back up their oppinions. They would not hear anything they did not wish to.
There was no choosing. We are not going to reorder our life as they would wish it. It's our life.

But, my relationship with this side of my family has always been distant in many ways.

The other side of my family is fine with everything and we are fairly open with such topics. Master's family is aware, but indifferent.

Hope this can help- fae

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