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sexyred1 -> RE: Humiliation by name calling (2/1/2010 12:13:54 PM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: CreativeDominant
quote:
ORIGINAL: ForeverOwned
For those of you who are into humiliation by the way of being called horrible names and being put down by your partner, may i ask why and how that is a turn on?
i have looked at it from all sides that i know of and i come up empty. So, if someone would like to share with me how they feel i would appreciate it.
In the past my Owner has said things like "Come here you little slut." but, it's in a playful sexy manner. If he were to call me fat, ugly, stupid or anything in that vein i would be so wounded that i don't think i would never be the same again. thanks.
I'll answer this in the same manner that I have before.
There is a difference between degradation and humiliation. Humiliation, in the context of D/s and BDSM, is the use of techniques---verbal, physical, mental, emotional---that creates a sense of both embarassment and sexual turn-on within the receiver of the humiliation and create a sense of being humbled by the dominant. It lifts the submissive up and makes her feel positive about her sexual nature and who/what she is to her dominant in a sexual, physical manner. Degradation, in the context of D/s and BDSM, is the use of techniques---verbal, phyical, mental, emotional---that creates a sense of shame and a turn-off, not just sexually but in all ways, to the one trying to create that sense of shame. It does not lift a submissive up, it puts them down. Instead of making them feel like they are valuable to their dominant, they feel that they are worthless.
Now then, if you look at it that way, you will know that perhaps your dominant was not just being playful, he was speaking to one facet of your true nature...a facet that appealed to him, as it does to many dominants. That line between humiliation and degradation has to be found by each person. Why the person instead of the couple? Because the action of one dominant calling you a slut or making you pull your skirt up to reveal your bare ass to strangers may...because of who and what he is and how he treats you at other times...make you extremely turned on while being completely humbled and embarassed. Another dominant telling you to do so...because of who and what he is and acts towards you at other times...may only piss you off and shame you by doing so, make you feel defiant and rebellious.
That should take care of the question, permanently.
Swoons.
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