RE: Sexual sadists and kinky people NOT in the 'bdsm community'

RE: Sexual sadists and kinky people NOT in the 'bdsm community' (Full Version)

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FetishRose -> RE: Sexual sadists and kinky people NOT in the 'bdsm community' (2/2/2010 12:47:09 PM)
My sir, although certainly moving into what he terms "the lifestyle" was incredibly kinky and engaged in many of the behaviors of a lifestyle kinkster. When we started dating, it was as a vanilla couple. However, he likes his women to behave a certain way, preferring a "traditional" gender role, and he does want to be waited on. Sexually, he has always enjoyed inflicting pain on those who enjoy it, spanking, slapping, etc. He was familiar with bondage, sensory deprivation, wax, etc. And yet...he considered himself as relatively vanilla. It wasn't until he met me, a submissive who has dated both kinky and vanilla, that he began to think of himself as kinky. Now, a few months later, we are very content in our ever-increasing D/s dynamic relationship. We continually try new things, I teach him the things I like, and he teaches me what he likes. It's a blast!

LillyoftheVally -> RE: Sexual sadists and kinky people NOT in the 'bdsm community' (2/2/2010 1:58:05 PM)
I was with a guy who I met a few years later at an event, it was a bit strange as there was none of that when we were together. Other than that not really, most of the men I was with in a vanilla sense were if anything submissive which was always rather frustrating to me, and I guess kinda ironic.

SailingBum -> RE: Sexual sadists and kinky people NOT in the 'bdsm community' (2/2/2010 8:59:32 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: AAkasha I have met some subs who had "kinky girlfriends" in the past who would not go so far as to label themselves as "into the lifestyle" or would even shy away from terminology like Mistress or dominatrix (what pop culture tends to call women who are sadists, whether or not they are pro). Yet the ladies were undeniable kinky, enjoyed delivering pain, etc. They just didn't read about it, research it, go to bdsm events, or really care. They just introduced their "urges" to partners and indulged when they felt like it. Akasha Im confused about "in the life" as if we have a secret handshake or something. The Highlited portion describes me exactly. Ive been "twisted" as long as I can remember. I didnt do the club thing, munches or any of that other stuff. I dont need it to validate what I am about I dont identify as a dom master whatever. I just happen to be a take charge kinda guy in all areas of my life. And yes it's really that simple. BadOne

Whiplashsmile4 -> RE: Sexual sadists and kinky people NOT in the 'bdsm community' (2/2/2010 9:21:05 PM)
I'm not certain if I myself am or am not sincerely into "the lifestyle"... I know I'm into BDSM because the letters of what it represents tells me so. In terms of being involved in BDSM Community, that's questionable (always has and probally always will be). I seem to have a love hate relationship for it. I feel like I almost kinda sorta fit in, but not kinda really. If I'm not with somebody else who is kinky, well... the sex just ain't that good for me. How to best say this, I need to be with somebody who knows how to take me and deal with certain things... I also need to be with somebdoy I know how to take and deal with as well. Shocker eh? I can be the D in a D/s relationship, I can deal with being in a Dom Couple relationship, A Kinky Twisted Vanilla relationship... however, not just with anybody. There has to be some level of chemistry and balance, understanding. There are aspects of BDSM hard wired into the very core of who and what I am, but these things are only part of me and not my SUM. In many regards, I think kinky vanilla's have some of the Lifestylers at the advantage cause they ain't so busy trying to live up or adhere to the stereotyping of labels.

lally2 -> RE: Sexual sadists and kinky people NOT in the 'bdsm community' (2/3/2010 3:11:47 AM)
when i was about 16 i remember clearly finding a 'story' in the paper - it must have caught my eye somehow, i wasnt into current affairs then. but i read it over and over and i remember feeling really jealous. a man was taken to court for keeping some young women, i think about four of them, on his boat. the story was that he had repeatedly spanked them in turn, rubbed whisky into their bottoms afterwards to ease the sting and then spanked them all again over a couple of days. i wanted to be one of those girls, i remember that so well. just out of curiosity btw, ive never tried it, but does whisky get rid of the sting, i cant imagine that it would

specialk2611 -> RE: Sexual sadists and kinky people NOT in the 'bdsm community' (2/12/2010 9:17:58 AM)
Hey, great thread topic! I knew a girl (sister of a partner) who was into degrading, rough, submissive sexual acts in the bedroom, but didn't really know anything about BDSM (neither did I at the time!). I'm sure I have some personality disorders but I don't feel the need to reserach and label myself as them. Some people like to maintain their ideal image of who they are, good for them.

DesFIP -> RE: Sexual sadists and kinky people NOT in the 'bdsm community' (2/12/2010 8:24:47 PM)
We go to no public events. True it's a two hour drive to any but we wouldn't anyway. For us it's just sex and we don't do that in public. Beyond that, he joined a kink site to find a woman who didn't argue with him all the time and who liked to be tied up. Once he had accomplished that, he stopped going. Obviously I'm different as I'm definitely a forum addict, lol. But I've been hooked on nilla forums also. And I know I shared this before, but I got scared off of lifestylers because I grew up in one of the Fire Island gay communities and knew the original leather men, the ones who came out of WWII. I really disliked the way they bed hopped and the lack of commitment I saw in any of them and at that point they were in their 40s and 50s. Since I saw getting kinky sex meant going home with a different guy every night, I much preferred tabling my desire for kinky sex in favor of a steady partner, marriage, children, stability. It wasn't till the marriage broke up that I said since I was then stuck looking for a casual sex partner, I might as well look for a kinky one. I was overwhelmed with relief to discover that 30 years later, it appeared heterosexuals did this inside of a stable relationship. Since I had never known any straights who were interested in this, it came as a welcome shock. So here I am, again in a stable relationship and this time with some kinky sex.

EbonyWood -> RE: Sexual sadists and kinky people NOT in the 'bdsm community' (2/12/2010 8:31:54 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: lally2 when i was about 16 i remember clearly finding a 'story' in the paper - it must have caught my eye somehow, i wasnt into current affairs then. but i read it over and over and i remember feeling really jealous. a man was taken to court for keeping some young women, i think about four of them, on his boat. the story was that he had repeatedly spanked them in turn, rubbed whisky into their bottoms afterwards to ease the sting and then spanked them all again over a couple of days. i wanted to be one of those girls, i remember that so well. just out of curiosity btw, ive never tried it, but does whisky get rid of the sting, i cant imagine that it would (straight face) Depends how much of it you drink.

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