RE: Fair Punishment

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winterrose77 -> RE: Fair Punishment (2/1/2010 11:10:13 AM)
quote: winterrose, I've had over 200 strokes in a lot of scenes (most notably double-caning). The tool doesn't so much matter, or the number of hits, as much as the force used, easing into it with a warmup vs. going all out, and other factors. Ouuuuch. D: You have my admiration.

HisSweetElysium -> RE: Fair Punishment (2/1/2010 1:54:12 PM)
as others said, fair is subjective so there's no need to address that. I would think a conversation is in order about a larger problem. What's going on with your off day? Why couldn't you communicate directly about feeling bad/off/sad/weird, whatever, before it got to this point? Why did you lie? That's a biggie. Not saying you're getting out of the 200 whatever, but the conversation my Master would have with me over a similar situation would make me feel far more contrite than the punishment. As a result of the discussion I would end up crying I am sure, and he would hold me, kiss me, love me, and tell me I am His good girl, now bend over. Drives home the point far more, at least in our world. Everyone has bad days, it happens, but it helps me to recognize it immediately and communicate with Him, rather than expecting Him to read my mind and my behavior and adjust His to accommodate.

lally2 -> RE: Fair Punishment (2/1/2010 2:29:33 PM)
sounds fair enough to me. youve had an off day, we all have them and i can fully appreciate trying to cover youre tracks after messing up wholly the rest of the time and trying to engage in some 'damage limitation' - only human [:)] but bottom line, youve messed up and youre Master is now in the position of having to either put it all down to an 'off day' and let it slide or get busy. hes chosen to get busy - his perogative. truthfully though, you wouldnt have it any other way, would you.

Andalusite -> RE: Fair Punishment (2/1/2010 9:05:24 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: winterrose77 quote: winterrose, I've had over 200 strokes in a lot of scenes (most notably double-caning). The tool doesn't so much matter, or the number of hits, as much as the force used, easing into it with a warmup vs. going all out, and other factors. Ouuuuch. D: You have my admiration. That's the thing, it's not like he hit me full force on all of them. It was more like playing a drum, one in each hand. Tap-tap-tap-tap-thwack-tap-tap-THWAAAAACK! [;)] I did have welts and bruises for a couple weeks afterward from the harder strikes, but it was "yummy pain" while it was happening.. They weren't punishment scenes, though, and I got plenty of warmup. Usually they lasted 2-3 hours. I've had some scenes that lasted pretty much all day (actively playing, not just being caged), with bathroom breaks and a couple of meals in there, and countless "smacks." It's all about how it's done, not the raw quantity.

winterrose77 -> RE: Fair Punishment (2/2/2010 12:32:57 PM)
nods I completely understand that. But not everyone can take that kinda punishment no matter what...especially in a new relationship, in my opinion. I'm certainly not trying to say that the Dom is wrong for it XD I think it's all a question of how much she can take and how well he can deliver it without straying outside the bounds of what she can endure. I'm probably way over-cautious, but that's just me. XD

frazzle -> RE: Fair Punishment (2/2/2010 12:40:34 PM)
Not sure you read what Andalusite said. that was an example of S/M play. not punishment. Impact "play" isnt always pain play. Hell you use a heavy thuddy flogger on my back, its better than a massage, and His arm is going to give out before my back does. Its all down to context and severity.

winterrose77 -> RE: Fair Punishment (2/2/2010 12:50:59 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: frazzle Not sure you read what Andalusite said. that was an example of S/M play. not punishment. Impact "play" isnt always pain play. Hell you use a heavy thuddy flogger on my back, its better than a massage, and His arm is going to give out before my back does. Its all down to context and severity. Nono, I did, I understand the difference...she was enjoying it, whereas I suppose I assumed that the 200 strokes deigned as punishment would have been unenjoyable. My Master's and my dynamic more or less excludes punishment as 'play'; if I'm punished, I'm not supposed to like it. XD I guess my associations are different than most, so my posts probably make little sense in the context of the general masochistic discussion. All I'm sayin' really is that if she feels the amount is too much for her to take even as a literal punishment, she should take a step back and talk to her Dom about the situation to make sure the punishment isn't too much. :) Sorry if I offended or annoyed anybody; it wasn't my intention to do so.

Exploratorynfun -> RE: Fair Punishment (2/2/2010 12:52:33 PM)
I just wanna thank everyone for their advice an post. Master and I have a wonerful relationship and that night we did talk about things but still I displeased him no matter how small the lie was or how badly my day was going. Everyone handles punishment in different ways and some can handle extreme punishment and others can not. Thankfully my days are going better and the nice reminder I had has helped. So again thanks to everyone

frazzle -> RE: Fair Punishment (2/2/2010 12:55:48 PM)
didnt offend or annoy me. and if ive done something wrong enough to need actual punishment, Ive safed out at 10. My head is not in the same place as for something aimed at be mutually enjoyable.

agirl -> RE: Fair Punishment (2/2/2010 3:02:05 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: winterrose77 quote: ORIGINAL: frazzle Not sure you read what Andalusite said. that was an example of S/M play. not punishment. Impact "play" isnt always pain play. Hell you use a heavy thuddy flogger on my back, its better than a massage, and His arm is going to give out before my back does. Its all down to context and severity. Nono, I did, I understand the difference...she was enjoying it, whereas I suppose I assumed that the 200 strokes deigned as punishment would have been unenjoyable. My Master's and my dynamic more or less excludes punishment as 'play'; if I'm punished, I'm not supposed to like it. XD I guess my associations are different than most, so my posts probably make little sense in the context of the general masochistic discussion. All I'm sayin' really is that if she feels the amount is too much for her to take even as a literal punishment, she should take a step back and talk to her Dom about the situation to make sure the punishment isn't too much. :) Sorry if I offended or annoyed anybody; it wasn't my intention to do so. The same would apply here winterrose. I have had, in fact more than 200 strokes of a cane in a punishment. It wasn't SM play, it was cold caning and fucking awful. I'm no masochist and therte's no safe outeither. agirl

FukinTroll -> RE: Fair Punishment (2/2/2010 3:06:49 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Exploratorynfun I am still being trained and violated some rules today. Well basically all day, I seemed to be off today and was disrespectful and disobedient at times. My question is my Master has decided at the times I disobeyed and told me each time I disobeyed that the punishment would be allowing others to view me being spanked later on tonight via the web, no less I think I am up to 200 by now .... Do you think its fair? It doesn't matter what we think. All that matters is what you and your D/ think. If you can't take the spankin fall in line or fall out. This is not our dynamic, it is yours. You know the particulars and all the ins and outs agreed upon. As far as fair or unfair, we don't care we just want the link to the webcam you will be spanked in front of.

lally2 -> RE: Fair Punishment (2/3/2010 3:46:18 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: agirl quote: ORIGINAL: winterrose77 quote: ORIGINAL: frazzle Not sure you read what Andalusite said. that was an example of S/M play. not punishment. Impact "play" isnt always pain play. Hell you use a heavy thuddy flogger on my back, its better than a massage, and His arm is going to give out before my back does. Its all down to context and severity. Nono, I did, I understand the difference...she was enjoying it, whereas I suppose I assumed that the 200 strokes deigned as punishment would have been unenjoyable. My Master's and my dynamic more or less excludes punishment as 'play'; if I'm punished, I'm not supposed to like it. XD I guess my associations are different than most, so my posts probably make little sense in the context of the general masochistic discussion. All I'm sayin' really is that if she feels the amount is too much for her to take even as a literal punishment, she should take a step back and talk to her Dom about the situation to make sure the punishment isn't too much. :) Sorry if I offended or annoyed anybody; it wasn't my intention to do so. The same would apply here winterrose. I have had, in fact more than 200 strokes of a cane in a punishment. It wasn't SM play, it was cold caning and fucking awful. I'm no masochist and therte's no safe outeither. agirl good lord girl! - what did you do to deserve that - you dont have to tell, of course, but hell fire and dammit!!!

agirl -> RE: Fair Punishment (2/3/2010 7:48:20 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: lally2 quote: ORIGINAL: agirl quote: ORIGINAL: winterrose77 quote: ORIGINAL: frazzle Not sure you read what Andalusite said. that was an example of S/M play. not punishment. Impact "play" isnt always pain play. Hell you use a heavy thuddy flogger on my back, its better than a massage, and His arm is going to give out before my back does. Its all down to context and severity. Nono, I did, I understand the difference...she was enjoying it, whereas I suppose I assumed that the 200 strokes deigned as punishment would have been unenjoyable. My Master's and my dynamic more or less excludes punishment as 'play'; if I'm punished, I'm not supposed to like it. XD I guess my associations are different than most, so my posts probably make little sense in the context of the general masochistic discussion. All I'm sayin' really is that if she feels the amount is too much for her to take even as a literal punishment, she should take a step back and talk to her Dom about the situation to make sure the punishment isn't too much. :) Sorry if I offended or annoyed anybody; it wasn't my intention to do so. The same would apply here winterrose. I have had, in fact more than 200 strokes of a cane in a punishment. It wasn't SM play, it was cold caning and fucking awful. I'm no masochist and therte's no safe outeither. agirl good lord girl! - what did you do to deserve that - you dont have to tell, of course, but hell fire and dammit!!! I lied, basically. I've only been punished twice, both times were for lying. Both times were horrendous. agirl

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