A sub, not a doormat?

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A sub, not a doormat? - 3/25/2006 8:56:49 PM

Beatmehrdr

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I've seen this a few times mentioned on profiles. As a Domme, when you write that, what do you mean? It seems a bit like a contradiction in terms.

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RE: A sub, not a doormat? - 3/25/2006 9:00:24 PM

carolsea

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From: North Carolina
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"As a domme when you write that..."

A domme writes that??

Carolsea

(in reply to Beatmehrdr)

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RE: A sub, not a doormat? - 3/25/2006 9:06:24 PM

MySweetSubmssive

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When I'm talking to a submissive to potentially take on, I'm looking at two thing: does he have the submissive qualities that I want, and do I like him as a person? I like men who are articulate, complex, creative, kind and emotionally intelligent. I like someone with character, someone who is present and alive. This man is not a doormat. If someone is perpetually meek, what pleasure is there in having him submit? While I want someone well-behaved while interacting, I want to know that there's a fully-developed person there to access.

(in reply to Beatmehrdr)

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RE: A sub, not a doormat? - 3/25/2006 9:31:26 PM

SabrinaRising

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To me, the term "door-mat" refers to a person who is completely incapable of power exchange; instead what they are seeking is co-dependency. And for me, these type of people suck my very will to live.

If your definition of a Domme is purely a sexual Sadista...and you are applying "door-mat" as a pure pain/pleasure slut...then I can understand your confusion.

However; there are a good deal of us out here who own and seek autonomous and devoted service from those naturally disposed to serve strong Women. Autonomous service requires intellect, intrinsic motivation and mental stability my definition of a "door-mat" does not possess.

I am not a psychiatrist, I am a FemDom. I am not here to fix anyone, I am here to allow them an outlet to serve, to become the best incarnation of themselves they can be, at my feet...as an exstension of my will.

Sabrina

(in reply to MySweetSubmssive)

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RE: A sub, not a doormat? - 3/25/2006 10:03:52 PM

LadyThornrose

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I generally use the term drone rather than doormat. To me a drone is a mindless robot that does whatever it's programmed to do. <Does that description make some of the slaves here hot and bothered? Haha!>

I'm a multi-faceted person and I like multi-faceted people. I like to be stimulated mentally, physically, emotionally and spiritually. I like to be entertained and a great way to entertain me is by stimulating my brain. Personally I'm sick to death of subs that answer a question by saying "Whatever you say, Mistress." I already know what I say. I want to hear what you have to say! And if I disagree, I'll be happy to let you know.

I think doormats/drones appeal to a lot of Dommes, especially ones with multiple subs, but it does NOT appeal to me.

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(in reply to SabrinaRising)

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RE: A sub, not a doormat? - 3/25/2006 10:40:47 PM

MistressLorelei

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It is so much more powerful to take a strong, intelligent, capable male and bring him to his knees in complete submission, that it would be to do the same with the 'doormat' you mentioned, who would likely to submit to most anyone.

(in reply to Beatmehrdr)

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RE: A sub, not a doormat? - 3/26/2006 5:05:05 AM

LadyMorgynn

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From: N. Carolina
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This is so true! I mean... if there's nothing there, no personality, no individualism, no self-worth/esteem, no opinions, no ability to make decisions... then what is the submission worth???? Absolutely NOTHING!

Even vanilla is better than that!

quote:

ORIGINAL: MistressLorelei

It is so much more powerful to take a strong, intelligent, capable male and bring him to his knees in complete submission, that it would be to do the same with the 'doormat' you mentioned, who would likely to submit to most anyone.

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RE: A sub, not a doormat? - 3/26/2006 5:12:52 AM

LadyMorgynn

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From: N. Carolina
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You might also want to check out another thread on this forum, sub or slave, what's the distinction? There was some conversation on doormats beginning around post #15 I think.

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RE: A sub, not a doormat? - 3/26/2006 6:34:38 AM

JohnWarren

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From: Delray Beach, FL
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quote:

ORIGINAL: MistressLorelei

It is so much more powerful to take a strong, intelligent, capable male and bring him to his knees in complete submission, that it would be to do the same with the 'doormat' you mentioned, who would likely to submit to most anyone.

As one of my friends puts it "I don't want him on his knees; I want to bring him to his knees."

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(in reply to MistressLorelei)

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RE: A sub, not a doormat? - 3/26/2006 7:12:53 AM

twicehappy

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quote:

As one of my friends puts it "I don't want him on his knees; I want to bring him to his knees."

Lol, the ending line of the profile i kept on several sites during my long search for a new Master was " bring me to my knees, keep me at your feet "

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RE: A sub, not a doormat? - 3/26/2006 10:20:25 AM

TexasMaam

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I don't have that on My profile because I'd love to own a doormat. Or a drone!

Texas Maam

(in reply to Beatmehrdr)

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RE: A sub, not a doormat? - 3/26/2006 11:44:06 AM

AAkasha

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My personal view:

1. I am attracted to a man that will submit to me, not a man who is submissive to everyone. Or, a man who is "submissive to women."

2. I want a man who can be submissive, but isn't passive.

If a man's submissive side basically consumes him to the point that he is either obsessed with kink or is meek in his daily life or defers to others (or me) for approval, for guidance or instructions then I am not interested.

I like a man who submits to me that you would never pick out of a room by pointing to the meek, withdrawn guy standing in the corner alone who can't even maintain eye contact. He'd be the guy having normal conversations, laughing, being sociable and not wearing this "submissive hat" all the time.

Akasha

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(in reply to Beatmehrdr)

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RE: A sub, not a doormat? - 3/26/2006 3:29:10 PM

thetammyjo

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quote:

ORIGINAL: AAkasha

My personal view:

1. I am attracted to a man that will submit to me, not a man who is submissive to everyone. Or, a man who is "submissive to women."

2. I want a man who can be submissive, but isn't passive.

If a man's submissive side basically consumes him to the point that he is either obsessed with kink or is meek in his daily life or defers to others (or me) for approval, for guidance or instructions then I am not interested.

I like a man who submits to me that you would never pick out of a room by pointing to the meek, withdrawn guy standing in the corner alone who can't even maintain eye contact. He'd be the guy having normal conversations, laughing, being sociable and not wearing this "submissive hat" all the time.

Akasha

This reflect much of how I feel.

I love the fact that everyone in the local munch/education group where I live met Fox a month before I did. All them told me that this wonderful new top had come to town whom I should meet and he'd be a great addition to the team.

I knew within a few minutes that he was a submissive first and foremost. The group confused his confidence and knowledge with being top/dominant and not simply a factor of himself as a person and his interest and drive to learn.

Actually Fox is a service top too and he does need his topping energies replenished now and again. This is why my next slave will need to be bisexual at least in terms of bondage so Fox has a brother and a toy in one.

I feel special that someone so confident and so knowledgeable kneels to me. A doormat is there for everyone to walk on -- I can go buy one at Kmart for like $15.

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RE: A sub, not a doormat? - 3/26/2006 7:37:13 PM

TeeGO

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quote:

ORIGINAL: JohnWarren

As one of my friends puts it "I don't want him on his knees; I want to bring him to his knees."

That line sends chills down my spine! I love it.

As far as being a doormat. I'm no doormat, but if Ma'am is having a party and wants me to be one, that's different.

(in reply to JohnWarren)

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RE: A sub, not a doormat? - 3/26/2006 11:03:49 PM

crouchingtigress

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The term doormat is not often self applied.One is labeled a door mat when they are more submissive/subservient then the person who is using the term.

Basically what I might think of as a doormat is going to differ then what you think of as door matt, because we both have different personal limits.

One of my boys is what another of my boys would call a doormat, but in all honesty I find I cherish him the most, it is his willingness to be walked on by me that prevents me from ever doing anything to harm him. My other boy likes a good fight, I dislike this part of his character and it makes me act less dominant with him rather then more.

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RE: A sub, not a doormat? - 3/27/2006 1:24:48 AM

bodie

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Just a light interjection Tigress. Doormat is just an anagram of o'Matador. I gather you would much prefer to make a Matador submit to you, more of a challenge?

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RE: A sub, not a doormat? - 3/27/2006 1:33:49 AM

BitaTruble

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quote:

ORIGINAL: bodie

Just a light interjection Tigress. Doormat is just an anagram of o'Matador. I gather you would much prefer to make a Matador submit to you, more of a challenge?

Actually, Bodie, it's not. Matador has two A's.. doormat just the one and doormat has two O's and matador just the one. I think you're stretching on this one. ::chuckles::

Celeste

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RE: A sub, not a doormat? - 3/27/2006 8:32:36 AM

MissTori

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Hehe, I love that "I don't want him on his knees, I want to bring him to his knees"

That's very much how I feel, I have no interest in a submissive who wants to do everything I say.

(in reply to BitaTruble)

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RE: A sub, not a doormat? - 3/28/2006 6:48:47 PM

LadyLupine

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Amen ladies!

To the OP..I have those words in my profile. It takes strength to submit with honor and humility. It's about power EXCHANGE, and if you have nothing to give, what is there for me to take?

(in reply to MissTori)

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