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HisSub1213 -> I love this one...Hell Freezing Over? (2/4/2010 10:38:05 AM)
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Is Hell Freezing Over???
The following is supposedly an actual bonus question given on a University of Florida
chemistry mid-term. The answer by one student was so "profound" that the professor
shared it with colleagues via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the
pleasure of enjoying it as well.
The bonus question was:
Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?
Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas cools when it
expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant. One student, however, wrote
the following:
"First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we
need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are
leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave.
Therefore, no souls are leaving.
As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different religions that exist in the
world today. Most of these religions state if you are not a member of their religion, you
will go to Hell.
Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more
than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell.
With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to
increase exponentially.
Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in
order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to
expand proportionately as souls are added.
This gives two possibilities:
1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the
temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.
2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the
temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.
So which is it?
If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year that, "it will be
a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you, and take into account the fact that I slept with
her last night, then number 2 must be true, and thus I am sure Hell is exothermic and has
already frozen over. The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it
follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is, therefore, extinct...leaving only
Heaven...thereby proving the existence of a divine being which explains why, last night,
Teresa kept shouting "Oh my God."
THIS STUDENT RECEIVED THE ONLY "A "!
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