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ORIGINAL: thetammyjo

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ORIGINAL: Evanesce

OK, I've gotta jump in here, simply because I have this overwhelming need to protect the underdog, and I think y'all are being just a bit too hard on old HS.

I've known Scorpio in real life for some six or seven years. I will tell you that, while he certainly needs to take a basic writing course, he does not come across as a complete idiot in person. His biggest problem, that I can see, is that in all these years of attending munches and demos and events, he's not really grown past where he was when I first met him, and he's making the same newbie mistakes now that he did back then. It doesn't make him a bad person... just one who needs a little more education and a few people skills.

Granted, complaints are beyond annoying if that's all you get from someone, but I guess I keep hoping it gets better.

I'll second your opinion, Evanesce, because I've met Scorpio several times at Headspace workshops and at GLLA and other events.

I've seen him with a several partners but usually not the same one at two different events. Considering these encounters were easily months apart I didn't take it very seriously that he had different partners -- I'm all about testing things out and trying various people rather than just into the serious pool right away.

It was clear to me that he was trying to learn and meet people but something just wasn't working though I'm not sure why not. Since he didn't live in the same town as me, I couldn't really track very well. Plus I've never been sure of the etiquette for offering someone advice at a munch or workshop when you know you aren't going to see them for months.

(of course, look at how much "advice" I spin out here onine -- somehow that feels different to me)

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My point was that over the years I haven't seen a change even offline so I'm not sure online advice will be much help in this case.

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ORIGINAL: meatcleaver

You mean all 32 have made the same mistake?

I guess all 32 must have been desperate.

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ORIGINAL: thetammyjo

I don't think Evanesce or I were trying to blame anyone other than Scorpio for his problems -- just give it some context because we've seen him in meatlife.

My point was that over the years I haven't seen a change even offline so I'm not sure online advice will be much help in this case.

Saying "follow this advice" or "take responsiblity" if the person doesn't see the problems as coming from him/herself will not help. Or if the person isn't ready to make take those steps. Even attending munches and workshops and conventions isn't enough unless each of us is open to and able to learn and grow from the experiences.

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ORIGINAL: IronBear

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ORIGINAL: thetammyjo

I don't think Evanesce or I were trying to blame anyone other than Scorpio for his problems -- just give it some context because we've seen him in meatlife.

My point was that over the years I haven't seen a change even offline so I'm not sure online advice will be much help in this case.

Saying "follow this advice" or "take responsiblity" if the person doesn't see the problems as coming from him/herself will not help. Or if the person isn't ready to make take those steps. Even attending munches and workshops and conventions isn't enough unless each of us is open to and able to learn and grow from the experiences.

Hiya Tammy,

Not sure if you were addressing me withthat post, but if so, I was dishing out complements and commenting that anyone who knows the dude may be able to help him off line..

<< Wondering is my clarity of posting has deteriatedso much that people age getting cunfuzzled .. hmm just 'cause I confused a kajira with a kaiila .... Needs a long holiday (Fishing) and sleep occasionally....>>>

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ORIGINAL: thetammyjo



Well, I've left my "community scene" and then it died off several months ago - I left for personal reasons. I'm just burnt out on the public expectations that I'd do work and be a "star" then the BS jealousy that went with it from others.

But the years I was involved I saw some people who came to events over and over, you'd talk to them, but frankly nothing sunk in.

As a teacher in college I've realized you can't solve people's problems or teach them anything unless they are willing and able to do it themselves.

If repeated advice and examples don't work, who is the stupid one? The one who needs help or the one who keeps trying but gets the same results?

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ORIGINAL: artglfr

Iron Bear had great advice for Me also ,(delivered in His Own oh so friendly  and encouraging way )...which I listened to

Good Luck

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ORIGINAL: IronBear

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ORIGINAL: thetammyjo

Well, I've left my "community scene" and then it died off several months ago - I left for personal reasons. I'm just burnt out on the public expectations that I'd do work and be a "star" then the BS jealousy that went with it from others.

But the years I was involved I saw some people who came to events over and over, you'd talk to them, but frankly nothing sunk in.

As a teacher in college I've realized you can't solve people's problems or teach them anything unless they are willing and able to do it themselves.

If repeated advice and examples don't work, who is the stupid one? The one who needs help or the one who keeps trying but gets the same results?

Fair enough tammy, we are still on different wave lengths, I was paying you guys a complement. However I do hear you and agree with you. I've done the same thing with most of the Queensland Pagans for much the same reason...

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ORIGINAL: Phoenixandnika

I do not know if this would be a "Domly" thing to do but IF he is having difficulty and wants to truly learn why not go to a munch or local scene and interact with other Dominates and even perhaps take a mentor to help guide him.