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sexyred1 -> RE: S&M (2/7/2010 7:11:10 AM)
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ORIGINAL: Kana
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ORIGINAL: ResidentSadist
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ORIGINAL: Kana
Errr, it's my understanding that a sociopath has no sense of guilt or remorse. They are incapable of feeling empathic attachment to others.
and that would take ALL the fun out of sadism if we lost our empathy wouldn't it?
For me, sure. Shrugs. But I'm not a sociopath.
I've been in situations where I had to deal with real sociopaths-they look like people, act like people, but they aren't like the rest of us.
Their telescopes only point in.
That is a very apt description of sociopaths. You can encounter them daily and not know. You can be involved with one and as brilliant as you think you are, it might take you a while to figure it out.
When you are involved in BDSM with a sociopath, sometimes the lines can get blurred. Let me give you a real life example from my life:
You meet someone who you are really into. You see there are some anti social behaviors, but you say, eh, we are really hot for each other, he will never do those things with me.
So, you introduce this anti social guy to BDSM, since you enjoy being sexually submissive. He expresses deep interest and admits he has harbored thoughts of being Dominant for years with no way to express them.
When finally allowed free expression of these thoughts, this anti social person does a great job with it, until slowly but surely, he becomes more and more sadistic and you object to that. He does not listen or seem to care; he manipulates the conversation to say how can it be his fault when you opened the floodgates by turning him onto this.
You attempt to explain that you are not a major masochist and this increasing sadistic behavior is scaring you. He keeps lying and saying he will stop, but he never does. You love him so you try to work through it.
All this time, however, his anti social behaviors are turning sociopathic; he appears to have no empathy for anyone, including you, who he claims to love.
Eventually, his sociopathic behavior drives you away and his sadistic urges are now there permanently.
You can be a sociopath, or a budding sociopath and then, when exposed to BDSM, you finally get a chance to express those sadistic desires you have built up. This person now is practicing sadism with someone who is not necessarily a masochist.
I agree though that being a sadist is not related to being a sociopath, though the opposite is true; most socipaths are sadistic to a degree. It is how they express that, or their real sociopathic urges that distinguish highly functioning ones, as the one I know, who is able to speak to people, manipulate them and seem normal, to non functioning ones.
One could say, that if you expose an anti social person to BDSM who has sadistic tendencies the very act of allowing free expression in that area pushed the anti social person to become a full fledged sociopath. And you could also say that is bullshit, that he would have turned fully sociopathic without any expression ever of being a sadist.
It is all very interesting to speculate until you are involved with this person. Then you have to stop trying to analyze him and analyze why you stayed with him and how to extricate yourself from the relationship.
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