quote:

ORIGINAL: EbonyWood

quote:

ORIGINAL: DeviantKat


For me I have always viewed this site to be a save haven for BDSM lifestylers who are able to share their fetish interests openly without judgement.

Probably a bad assumption. Admirable but naive.
 
People judge all the time. It's how we navigate life. Some people make those judgements public, and not in a pleasant way.
 
You're probably in the medium to high category of those receiving it. But you've probably also made your own judgement on others.
 
Assuming your hate mail is all from men is a judgement of sorts. They probably are, but you don't know for sure.
 
Besides it's just the internet. It's a pain, but there are worse forms of harassment going on in the real world.
 
Good luck.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Lucienne

He's not attacking you based on looks. He's attacking you based on you having a vagina. And attacking vaginas is part of what this site is for, but in a consensual and intimate way, of course. I just find it fascinating that you can read a flood of misogynistic tripe like that and respond with "ouchy, he doesn't like my looks, please kiss my boo boo and make it go away." NEWS: Misogynist verbally attacks sex worker. It's not about you. He's obviously an asshole. I don't have any problem with pro-dommes, but I do have an issue with someone running a commercial enterprise trying to masquerade it as some warm fuzzy puppies and rainbows "lifestyle" issue. It's not personal. It's business.

quote:

ORIGINAL: DeviantKat

There should be no room for close minded people in the scene...just my opinion.

quote:

Wow really?!?!
That actually makes me feel a lot better to know.
Im sorry that you get them as well, knowing that some may be sent out at random like that makes a little more sense to me if that is the case.

quote:

ORIGINAL: DeviantKat

For me I have always viewed this site to be a save haven for BDSM lifestylers who are able to share their fetish interests openly without judgement.

Wrong. The internet is not a safe haven. Far from it.

I've always viewed this site as a tight knit community for those who love the lifestyle

quote:



See above. This is not that, at all. Anybody can come here. Those who are harrassing you might be vanilla, or barely kinky at all. They could even be female, or they could be underage.
 
Whatever. They certainly are assholes, if they're sending you venom like this as a first communication. They're getting off on their hopes of distressing you. So don't give them the satisfaction of thinking about them or their message, for any longer than the second it takes to (report?) block and delete. 


One thing you can do is send messages unopened, to your private email (the one you used to register for this site). Then when you open them there, it won't look like they've been opened to the sender, when they look in their "sent mail" folder. You can then delete them "unread" from your Cmail.

Edited to refer you to this thread:

http://www.collarchat.com/m_3050268/mpage_1/key_/tm.htm#3050350

That person (or people- could be some underage friends) is spamming people, hoping to upset them. So don't be upset. Don't take it personally.

OMG I sooo cannot figure out the quote feature. BTW Zephyrofthenorth- I LOVE your new avatar pic! 





< Message edited by dreamerdreaming -- 2/6/2010 1:49:19 PM >

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(in reply to DeviantKat)

quote:

ORIGINAL: DeviantKat

For me I have always viewed this site to be a save haven for BDSM lifestylers who are able to share their fetish interests openly without judgement.

I've always viewed this site as a tight knit community for those who love the lifestyle site that is something special that we all share with each other.

quote:

ORIGINAL: LafayetteLady

quote:

ORIGINAL: Lucienne

He's not attacking you based on looks. He's attacking you based on you having a vagina. And attacking vaginas is part of what this site is for, but in a consensual and intimate way, of course. I just find it fascinating that you can read a flood of misogynistic tripe like that and respond with "ouchy, he doesn't like my looks, please kiss my boo boo and make it go away." NEWS: Misogynist verbally attacks sex worker. It's not about you. He's obviously an asshole. I don't have any problem with pro-dommes, but I do have an issue with someone running a commercial enterprise trying to masquerade it as some warm fuzzy puppies and rainbows "lifestyle" issue. It's not personal. It's business.

I agree with you totally Lucienne

quote:

ORIGINAL: DeviantKat

There should be no room for close minded people in the scene...just my opinion.

Really, it always sucks to get an email like that but if you really believe the above, it's time you grew up and lived in the real world. There are closed minded people everywhere. Sadly, people seem to think that BDSM is a haven for people who have no morals, think every sexual activity is "ok" and everyone is "open minded" about everything. That's a fantasy. People in BDSM are just like everyone else.

quote:

ORIGINAL: sexyred1

As for this site or BDSM'ers in general...one of my pet peeves is that too many view this as a higher moral ground place than the general population or that we are more forgiving, or offer more sweetness and light than other online venues.

Nope, same shit people, different day. Just ignore or tell them off, no problemo.

quote:

ORIGINAL: VaguelyCurious

quote:

ORIGINAL: sexyred1

As for this site or BDSM'ers in general...one of my pet peeves is that too many view this as a higher moral ground place than the general population or that we are more forgiving, or offer more sweetness and light than other online venues.

Nope, same shit people, different day. Just ignore or tell them off, no problemo.

Same shit people? I don't know about you, Sexy, but I rarely get people slagging me off in the street the way I get CMails-and I live opposite a building site...

quote:

ORIGINAL: DeviantKat

For me I have always viewed this site to be a save haven for BDSM lifestylers who are able to share their fetish interests openly without judgement.

I've always viewed this site as a tight knit community for those who love the lifestyle site that is something special that we all share with each other.

quote:

ORIGINAL: sexyred1

quote:

ORIGINAL: VaguelyCurious

quote:

ORIGINAL: sexyred1
As for this site or BDSM'ers in general...one of my pet peeves is that too many view this as a higher moral ground place than the general population or that we are more forgiving, or offer more sweetness and light than other online venues.

Nope, same shit people, different day. Just ignore or tell them off, no problemo.

Same shit people? I don't know about you, Sexy, but I rarely get people slagging me off in the street the way I get CMails-and I live opposite a building site...

No VC, that is not what I meant. I don't get slagged off in the street either, are you kidding? What I meant was that people on a kink site cannot or should not be held to a higher standard than people from vanilla sites since human behavior is what unites them all.

quote:

ORIGINAL: PeonForHer

FR:

Still not one, single rude cmail.  Life's so different in the malesub world.