A question of position:

A question of position: (Full Version)

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OnlyMaster4u -> A question of position: (2/6/2010 5:29:09 PM)
My question is simple have any subs/slaves either had an honest change of heart after starting a relationship, or purposely misrepresented yourself to get involved in the relationship only to say later that you may not be sub anymore?

sunshinemiss -> RE: A question of position: (2/6/2010 5:32:27 PM)
Well that's like comparing apples and ... the Chinese gross national product. I've never purposely misreprented myself in any relationship. There have been times when I questioned my status based on someone else's (in)ability to run the relationship.

jen182 -> RE: A question of position: (2/6/2010 7:31:04 PM)
cant say i ever have intentionally mis represented myself, although im sure at some point or another someone has misunderstood who i am ... it happens, especially online

juliaoceania -> RE: A question of position: (2/6/2010 9:13:09 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: OnlyMaster4u My question is simple have any subs/slaves either had an honest change of heart after starting a relationship, or purposely misrepresented yourself to get involved in the relationship only to say later that you may not be sub anymore? No

littlewonder -> RE: A question of position: (2/6/2010 10:07:18 PM)
Easy answer...no. I don't lie, I don't misrepresent myself. I haven't ever had a change of heart.

LillyoftheVally -> RE: A question of position: (2/7/2010 2:00:38 AM)
Ive never decided I am not sub any more, I have got into relationships full of promise then after a while found I did not feel even remotely submissive to that person

wisdomtogive -> RE: A question of position: (2/7/2010 3:46:49 AM)
Simply -no

lucylucy -> RE: A question of position: (2/7/2010 7:52:04 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: OnlyMaster4u My question is simple have any subs/slaves either had an honest change of heart after starting a relationship, or purposely misrepresented yourself to get involved in the relationship only to say later that you may not be sub anymore? No. I can see how a woman might think she is submissive, explore it with someone, and then through that exploration, realize that she is either not as submissive as she had thought or that the Dominant she is with is not the right Dominant for her. I can also see how the Dominant in question might see this as misrepresentation, although I don't think that's an accurate term for it.

Viridana -> RE: A question of position: (2/7/2010 8:32:24 AM)
FR Yes, when I started out I thought I was submissive. I found out that I wasn't after a couple of months into the relationship. Have I ever misrepresented myself? no.

Tantriqu -> RE: A question of position: (2/7/2010 8:44:29 AM)
Lol, the question should be addressed to switches & doms!! [sm=wontshare.gif] but they'd probably fib about that, too. Happens all the time on this side of the kneel.

chamberqueen -> RE: A question of position: (2/7/2010 10:50:03 AM)
I was a Domme and got into my relationship to see if I would be more fulfilled as a sub. I was up front about it, my Master knew it was an experiment on my part, and I found that the role of slave fit me much better than that of a Domme. My change was for the positive. I never misrepresented myself, though. I was clear that I was not sure if I was truly a sub or not.

lally2 -> RE: A question of position: (2/7/2010 11:29:19 AM)
i have got into relationships i thought were promising only to realise further along that i could not continue being *their* submissive, but i have never reached a point where i felt my submissiveness was questionable or that i had misrepresented myself. maybe youve discovered that you cannot be submissive to this particular D for whatever reason, doesnt mean youre not submissive. i have, however, recently discovered that i do not need to be in a relationship in order to obviate myself and that i do not submit 'at will' anymore. my submission manifests or it doesnt and is completely dependent upon the person i am with. if they do not engender feelings of submission then i do not question who or what i am, i simply accept that there is no Ds chemistry going on. just because you are a sub doesnt mean youre going to be sub to every D walking the earth. edited to add; i have on a couple of occasions felt that my decision to leave was very unsubmissive of me, i was making a choice that with regard to the dynamic was not my choice, although, of course that choice is always ours. the action of leaving felt wrong and against my edict, but it was still the right decision to make. sometimes making decisions for ourselves in a given relationship feels unsub, doesnt mean we are not sub, we are just exercising our right to be happy and healthy.

DesFIP -> RE: A question of position: (2/7/2010 2:02:13 PM)
Lots of people grow and discover that things that used to fit no longer do. But that isn't deliberate lying, that's life. It just means you need to sit down and have an honest conversation.

itsmeinLV -> RE: A question of position: (2/7/2010 4:46:20 PM)
The change of heart I can see myself do, although I have not done so yet. However, the purposely misrepresenting myself to get into a relationship I will never do. I find that very unappealing and would probably be disgusted with myself. Plus the shame I'd have to go through if and when he finds out...ugh, not worth it!

DesFIP -> RE: A question of position: (2/7/2010 8:00:01 PM)
I will say that anyone who views discovering something new about herself as tantamount to lying says something about the viewer, all bad.

LeBlueDude -> RE: A question of position: (2/7/2010 8:38:53 PM)
My relationship with my Ex partly failed because both of us kept trying to take the backseat to the other. Yeah, that's right, we were both somewhat submissive. Neither of us was willing to take charge, and things sorta slowly fell apart. We decided we were better friends then lovers and we still hang out often. That was before I realized I was a submissive, but yeah it was a change of heart with regards to the relationship. no rancor in the breakup, so that was a lot of luck.

jujubeeMB -> RE: A question of position: (2/7/2010 11:37:52 PM)
What would be the point of someone misrepresenting themselves to get into a relationship? They wouldn't be getting any pleasure out of it, presumably, since they wouldn't actually be submissive. So where would the gain be for that person? I think it's much more likely that you're asking this question because you have a specific view of what a submissive should be (just checked out your profile), became involved with someone who didn't fit that mold, and she grew insecure about her lack of ability to fit what you wanted. That doesn't make what you want in a sub inappropriate, and it doesn't make her not submissive. Everyone is unique - her submissiveness may need to be strictly sexual, or within the confines of a prearranged list of limits and safewords. Wanting something different than your definition of a submissive may have confused her a bit, and caused her to doubt herself. Of course, she may also have just discovered that she isn't submissive, but either way, misrepresentation isn't the issue.

AquaticSub -> RE: A question of position: (2/7/2010 11:45:51 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: OnlyMaster4u My question is simple have any subs/slaves either had an honest change of heart after starting a relationship, or purposely misrepresented yourself to get involved in the relationship only to say later that you may not be sub anymore? This question isn't quite so simple to me... I have never intentionally made myself out to be anything other than who I am to get into a relationship. Now, I'm 25 and hence have a pretty good memory of my sometimes idiotic first attempts at lust and romance. Who I thought I was and what I thought I wanted didn't always work out with who I am and what it turns out I really want and need. Ahh the joys of self-discovery. And, of course, people change and those changes are influenced by a lot of things. I don't regard that as having a change of heart of though. It's not as though I went "Eh... never mind. I don't want the chocolate cake. I want pudding.", it was more "Oh... I guess this doesn't work for me. That... that really fucking sucks... now what do I do now?".

OnlyMaster4u -> RE: A question of position: (2/8/2010 4:40:38 AM)
I want to state as I should have from the beginning of this thread, that my experience that prompted this question has an answer. I had started a relationship with a women who said she was sub but her actions and not much later (2 months ) a conversation we had in which she stated the fact that she knew she may not have been sub anymore, and that the time spent together was a means to an end. No that end was never reviled and of course there is no more relationship. My curiosities are what inspired this thread. Apologies for any confusion.

OnlyMaster4u -> RE: A question of position: (2/8/2010 4:45:36 AM)
quote: What would be the point of someone misrepresenting themselves to get into a relationship? They wouldn't be getting any pleasure out of it, presumably, since they wouldn't actually be submissive. So where would the gain be for that person? I think it's much more likely that you're asking this question because you have a specific view of what a submissive should be (just checked out your profile), became involved with someone who didn't fit that mold, and she grew insecure about her lack of ability to fit what you wanted. That doesn't make what you want in a sub inappropriate, and it doesn't make her not submissive. Everyone is unique - her submissiveness may need to be strictly sexual, or within the confines of a prearranged list of limits and safewords. Wanting something different than your definition of a submissive may have confused her a bit, and caused her to doubt herself. Of course, she may also have just discovered that she isn't submissive, but either way, misrepresentation isn't the issue. I wanted to let you know that my profile is more to the point of what I feel (and I stress I) a women should be not just a submissive. I know everyone is different and that is wonderful but there are some very dishonest people out there as I am sure you know and they will do and say most anything to get what they want. I just wanted to see how strongly others felt about this.

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