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RE: My male friend has been trying for years - 2/9/2010 1:14:11 PM

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"For Years" he has not been able to find a woman and he is a friend of yours?

Funny how that works. Why doesn't he come out and post this question on his own? Does he actually think he will get the desired responses from one of your posts?

Quite frankly, I would be surprised if that fucker ever gets laid again.

The poor bastard.

< Message edited by domiguy -- 2/9/2010 1:15:59 PM >

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RE: My male friend has been trying for years - 2/9/2010 1:24:39 PM

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I have this Friend. He likes hoppy beer and slutty women. Even though he lives in a "Major" city, he has trouble meeting these kind of women.

Any suggestions?

Anonymous

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RE: My male friend has been trying for years - 2/9/2010 2:50:19 PM

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Has your friend tried taking women out for dim sim and Tsingdao beer? That works in some cities.

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RE: My male friend has been trying for years - 2/9/2010 2:51:22 PM

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Hummmm, I will pass that on to....my"friend"

Thanks!

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RE: My male friend has been trying for years - 2/9/2010 2:58:41 PM

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Sam Adams and cheeseburgers also work. Really, your friend should be having a much easier time of it now.

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RE: My male friend has been trying for years - 2/9/2010 3:52:02 PM

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Now I am hungry!....:)

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RE: My male friend has been trying for years - 2/9/2010 3:59:28 PM

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I am hungry too. And stuck at work. But I have Sam Adams Winter waiting at home, nice and cold.

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RE: My male friend has been trying for years - 2/9/2010 5:24:36 PM

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I had a Sam Adams and a Portillo's cheese burger for dinner.....

Jeff

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RE: My male friend has been trying for years - 2/9/2010 6:23:59 PM

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I am envious!! But I just had an excellent olive loaf sandwich, and the beer awaits!

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RE: My male friend has been trying for years - 2/9/2010 6:25:21 PM

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Dear OP - has your friend ever talked to different women, who wear different labels? Sometimes a discussion between two people can unveil some surprisingly compatible things where one first thinks there is not a lot in common. There may be reasons he can't find a suitable partner other than the narrow orientation he is seeking.

And about your comment regarding people afraid to post. So what? There are plenty of playgrounds on the internet, maybe they need something softer, with padded walls.

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RE: My male friend has been trying for years - 2/10/2010 4:44:54 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: KatyLied
There are plenty of playgrounds on the internet, maybe they need something softer, with padded walls.

Oooh. Would straightjackets be employed for bad little psycho girls?
I could like that!

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RE: My male friend has been trying for years - 2/10/2010 4:46:49 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus

Has your friend tried taking women out for dim sim and Tsingdao beer? That works in some cities.

ooo. I love TsingTao beer! That Hib, always keeping it real!

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RE: My male friend has been trying for years - 2/10/2010 1:44:24 PM

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I haven't done a search online for switches, but in my area there are few people who identify as such attending munches and parties. DarkSteven is right that most people tend to lean toward one orientation or the other. I don't think that makes them not a "real" switch. Your friend should probably base his search on what type of person suits his needs the most, i.e. a dominant female or a submissive female, rather than expecting to find the elusive 50/50 switch (unless that IS what he really wants). Lots of people like to change it up once in awhile without using the label "switch." Another option would be to look for a more open relationship instead of expecting only 1 person to fulfill all of his desires.

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RE: My male friend has been trying for years - 2/13/2010 10:08:56 AM

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To all that posted good advice, thank you so very much. i will pass it along to my friend.

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RE: My male friend has been trying for years - 2/17/2010 11:48:46 AM

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Just out of curiosity, since your friend is having such a hard time finding a switch, would he consider a poly relationship?

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RE: My male friend has been trying for years - 2/20/2010 9:00:57 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: FlamingRedhead

I haven't done a search online for switches, but in my area there are few people who identify as such attending munches and parties. DarkSteven is right that most people tend to lean toward one orientation or the other. I don't think that makes them not a "real" switch. Your friend should probably base his search on what type of person suits his needs the most, i.e. a dominant female or a submissive female, rather than expecting to find the elusive 50/50 switch (unless that IS what he really wants). Lots of people like to change it up once in awhile without using the label "switch." Another option would be to look for a more open relationship instead of expecting only 1 person to fulfill all of his desires.

Actually, I was a Domme for 5 years, a submissive for 3 years, and have been in egalitarian kinky relationships. I lean slightly more Dominant than submissive, but BDSM orientation wasn't one of my criteria when I was looking. I had a lot of people ask me which I prefer, and truly, I like both, it really depends on the interaction with the individual person. So far, I haven't been dominant and submissive toward the same person, and I tend to doubt that I would be capable of that. I have switched top/bottom with the same person in the same scene, or in back-to-back scenes.

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RE: My male friend has been trying for years - 2/21/2010 7:34:51 PM

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Interesting how posts range from informative, to supportive, to sarcastic to WTF....
anyway, I have to agree that most people tend to gravitate to one side or the other on the Dom/Sub spectrum, but will cross over given the right opportunity or relationship- now if they'll own up to it, that's another matter...

A "true" 50/50 switch, rare but she might exist.
But I think your friend has to realize that in the het leather "scene" there is a lot of pressure to fit the Male Dom/ Fem Sub dynamic. Those that don't face a lot of crap sometimes, so they pick a role and stick to it, even if it is not accurate.

My advice is for your friend to find a newbie or vanilla/curious woman and go from there. I think he might have better luck with somebody who isn't contaminated with other people's notions of who/what they are supposed to be.

Good luck to him

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RE: My male friend has been trying for years - 2/24/2010 1:07:38 PM

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As to increase in time between posts on most all forums.... Has nothing to do with your perception that people are scared to post. The facts, Jack, are found in one phrase: "A Legend returns ... " Briefly, BLoved started a string titled that, and so MANY people were posting at such a high rate of speed, one could hardly type an answer before 2 pages had passed. I didn't even know a string could move at that speed. I'm saying that it seemed like evryone that's a "usual" poster was spending all their time on that one {silly} string and didn't have the time (nor inclination) to avert their eyes (and fingers) away from the train-wreck.

Now that the Mods closed it down, things seem to be back to normal (if CM could ever be said to be normal.... LOL!)

P.S. I mean normal for CM. LOL!

< Message edited by LanceHughes -- 2/24/2010 1:19:52 PM >

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RE: My male friend has been trying for years - 2/24/2010 1:16:46 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: MRBadmonkey

Interesting how posts range from informative, to supportive, to sarcastic to WTF....
anyway, I have to agree that most people tend to gravitate to one side or the other on the Dom/Sub spectrum, but will cross over given the right opportunity or relationship- now if they'll own up to it, that's another matter...

A "true" 50/50 switch, rare but she might exist.
But I think your friend has to realize that in the het leather "scene" there is a lot of pressure to fit the Male Dom/ Fem Sub dynamic. Those that don't face a lot of crap sometimes, so they pick a role and stick to it, even if it is not accurate.

My advice is for your friend to find a newbie or vanilla/curious woman and go from there. I think he might have better luck with somebody who isn't contaminated with other people's notions of who/what they are supposed to be.

Good luck to him

Dear MR2ndPost (as of this writing) Sounds like the "friend" himself is a newbie, so I'm not so sure he will have "better luck" with a newbie. Blind leading the blind. And WIITWD is not about "luck." (Although luck certainly helps, the best kind of luck is that you make for yourself.) Just sayin'

I'd advise "friend" to have some RL experiences AND read as much as he can (in dead tree versions) AND get on CM and do some searches in the archives.

Regards, Lance (whose 60th B'day is in a few days and who has been "in the scene" for more than 25 years - and STILL learning.)

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RE: My male friend has been trying for years - 2/24/2010 2:57:12 PM

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Happy birthday, Lance!!

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