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RE: 100 punishments - 2/14/2010 5:44:12 PM

Posts: 4
Joined: 8/2/2008
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quote:

ORIGINAL: CarrieO

quote:

ORIGINAL: pyroaquatic

What about her pleasure?

This was my question as I read the list.

OP, I'd be curious to know why you were coming up with this list instead of your domme. As has already been mentioned, many things on your list are more funishment as opposed to actual punishment.

Personally, I see punishment as a last resort...a type of aversion therapy to correct an issue where other types of modification or disipline have proven to be unsuccessful. Of course, your dynamic could be quite different..."to each their own said the lady as she kissed the cow" sort of thing.

Unfortunately, I don't have any ideas to add because the punishments I would come up with would not be fun and they would be used to prove a point...not to get the sub off.

For the record, yes, I am relatively new to the scene. I was unaware of the term 'funishments'. Those I have always done things with have, until recently, have used punishment and "punishment". I guess I should change it from "Harshness Level" and "Pleasure Level" to "Punishment Level" and "Funishment Level" respectively. I mean, I can definately think of a few things that fit in both categories simultaneously. As I'm a bit shy about my involvement in the scene so far, being introduced to a group would be a big punishment to me, but I also enjoy my boundaries being pushed, and so it would be a funishment to a degree as well.

As for the domme making the list instead of me, part of the act is partially a form of handling the whole 'hard limits' concept. The final list I give to my domme would only contain ones that don't go past my hard limits (although some press pretty darn close), and it gives my domme a toolbox to work from so to speak. If my domme was making the list, since we're relatively new, would likely need to figure out whether each item on the list passed by my hard limit.

As for her pleasure, she can probably figure out her own pleasure for each thing on reading it. It's less a 'here's a guide on what to do together' and more a "here dom, here's the down low on your sub's feelings on these so you don't have to bother asking and breaking mood." She may use all of them, or may use none of them, it's her choice.

< Message edited by moonflayme -- 2/14/2010 5:48:03 PM >

(in reply to CarrieO)

RE: 100 punishments - 2/14/2010 5:56:20 PM

Posts: 2432
Joined: 1/27/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: moonflayme

For the record, yes, I am relatively new to the scene. I was unaware of the term 'funishments'. Those I have always done things with have, until recently, have used punishment and "punishment". I guess I should change it from "Harshness Level" and "Pleasure Level" to "Punishment Level" and "Funishment Level" respectively. I mean, I can definately think of a few things that fit in both categories simultaneously. As I'm a bit shy about my involvement in the scene so far, being introduced to a group would be a big punishment to me, but I also enjoy my boundaries being pushed, and so it would be a funishment to a degree as well.

As for the domme making the list instead of me, part of the act is partially a form of handling the whole 'hard limits' concept. The final list I give to my domme would only contain ones that don't go past my hard limits (although some press pretty darn close), and it gives my domme a toolbox to work from so to speak. If my domme was making the list, since we're relatively new, would likely need to figure out whether each item on the list passed by my hard limit.

OP,

Thank you for answering my question. I just viewed your profile and I have to be honest, there are a couple things that aren't making sense to me between what you have on your list here and what you offer in your profile, but I'm too tired from a long day at work to really address them. I would suggest, though, if you're involved with a partner that you state that in your profile.

Other than that...kudos for exploring and trying to keep things real. If both of you are just starting out, it sounds like you're trying to be as sensible as possible which is smart. Maybe it would be good for both of you to do a search of past threads...you might get some interesting ideas. ResidentSadist posted a fantastic BDSM booklist you could look up.

Good luck and have fun.

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(in reply to moonflayme)

RE: 100 punishments - 2/15/2010 7:27:59 AM

Posts: 17673
Joined: 11/26/2007
Status: offline

quote:

I was unaware of the term 'funishments'.

It's a word coined by Calif Chick if I remember correctly. It's kind of CM specific. No reason you would have known it. I thought it would help you see the difference between true punishment (which is yucky) and the whole "naughty" kind of scene.

have fun!

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(in reply to CarrieO)

RE: 100 punishments - 2/15/2010 9:55:07 AM

Posts: 3991
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: dreamerdreaming

Punishment:
Reading this thread.
Harshness level: 5
Pleasure level: 0

LOL!!!

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(in reply to dreamerdreaming)

RE: 100 punishments - 2/15/2010 12:44:48 PM

Posts: 18
Joined: 2/9/2010
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Awesome list! But I am sure the pleasure levels are different for everyone.

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(in reply to KatyLied)

RE: 100 punishments - 2/16/2010 9:37:05 AM

Posts: 21
Joined: 2/12/2010
Status: offline

As a "new" Domme I can actually see the value in something like this, quite simply as a way to see what the line between ponishment and "funishment". The gap between those 2 can be very small or a huge yawning cavern indeed. Funishment should be a reward and at least I don't want to make a mistake in the line.

(in reply to Johmey)

RE: 100 punishments - 2/16/2010 9:57:24 AM

Posts: 32566
Status: offline

A few things that came to My mind. I'm going to admit that I didn't read this. I skimmed a little. There are a couple of folks who are spot on in their replies. Still, here are some of My random thoughts:

The concept is silly. Nobody should need anywhere near a hundred punishments. If the behavior is that far out of line, you have one of three issues. The Dominant does not know how to adequately use their authority. The submissive is not willing to obey. Or, the two have such huge compatibility problems that they are unsuited for each other.

This leads to the Dominant not having the core understanding of how to deal with issues in the dynamic. A punishment should be a last resort, however a punishment is only effective if it fits the situation as well as the person you are dealing with. Just picking something off of a random list isn't going to correct a behavior.

Next, in My opinion, this whole 'assignment' is basically being used as a time consuming technique. "Busy work" is often given out by those who can't figure out exactly what they are supposed to do with a submissive, so they have to find them something to do. This is coupled with the possibility that the Dominant actually doesn't know how to interact with their submissive, so they give 'assignments' so they don't have to rely on their own creativity. It's the mark of someone who is either lazy or unimaginative. Now, if the person in question was being asked what kinds of scenes turn them on and were asking for them to explore those in a written assignment, that is a completely different thing.

So, as someone who is a part of said 'community' that you think would have need for such a thing, thank you, but I'll pass. If I can't do any better than this proposal, I'll hang it up.

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(in reply to chipncricket)

RE: 100 punishments - 2/16/2010 9:59:40 AM

dreamerdreaming

Posts: 2839
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: chipncricket

As a "new" Domme I can actually see the value in something like this, quite simply as a way to see what the line between ponishment and "funishment". The gap between those 2 can be very small or a huge yawning cavern indeed. Funishment should be a reward and at least I don't want to make a mistake in the line.

No, that's my point: there need not be any reward/punishment dynamic at all. My slaveboy and I don't have one. For us, its all funishment. I don't need any reason to be nice to him, and I don't need any reason if I want to beat his ass or whatever, besides our primary reason of mutual pleasure and fulfillment, and our self-actualization.

I am so tired of people assuming that D/s has to include a reward punishment dynamic. If you, or the OP and his D want to do it that way, whatever floats your boat is fine. Just realize that isn't necessary, for a fulfilling D/s relationship.

*steps down from soapbox*

Edited because I just now read LadyPact's post above. I agree completely with her assessment, and would like to highlight this portion especially:

"Next, in My opinion, this whole 'assignment' is basically being used as a time consuming technique. "Busy work" is often given out by those who can't figure out exactly what they are supposed to do with a submissive, so they have to find them something to do. This is coupled with the possibility that the Dominant actually doesn't know how to interact with their submissive, so they give 'assignments' so they don't have to rely on their own creativity. It's the mark of someone who is either lazy or unimaginative."

Exactly! thank you LadyPact!

< Message edited by dreamerdreaming -- 2/16/2010 10:08:30 AM >

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(in reply to chipncricket)

RE: 100 punishments - 2/16/2010 11:31:26 AM

dreamerdreaming

Posts: 2839
Status: offline

PUNISHMENT:
Reading this guy's entire profile text:
http://www.collarme.com/AlfredBravo

Harshness level: 5
Pleasure level: 0

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(in reply to moonflayme)

RE: 100 punishments - 2/16/2010 11:40:13 AM

CelticNightmare

Posts: 103
Joined: 2/15/2010
Status: offline

OP?

The really amusing thing about this list of "punishments" is that they all seem to REWARD your bad behavior with some sort of fetish related activity. Which is something I find to be pretty predictable with male subs.

Come up with 100 punishments that AREN'T related to something you get off on,and I'll consider them as such?

(in reply to KatyLied)

RE: 100 punishments - 2/16/2010 11:44:02 AM

Posts: 35
Joined: 1/19/2010
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: dreamerdreaming

PUNISHMENT:
Reading this guy's entire profile text:
http://www.collarme.com/AlfredBravo

Harshness level: 5
Pleasure level: 0

Agreed a million times over!! Also Agreeing with Celtic. It's not a punishment if you enjoy it. I suggest making you paint my house. :p

(in reply to dreamerdreaming)

RE: 100 punishments - 2/16/2010 12:20:29 PM

Posts: 21
Joined: 2/12/2010
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: dreamerdreaming

PUNISHMENT:
Reading this guy's entire profile text:
http://www.collarme.com/AlfredBravo

Harshness level: 5
Pleasure level: 0

O.o yeaaahhhhh.......

quote:

ORIGINAL: dreamerdreaming

No, that's my point: there need not be any reward/punishment dynamic at all. My slaveboy and I don't have one. For us, its all funishment. I don't need any reason to be nice to him, and I don't need any reason if I want to beat his ass or whatever, besides our primary reason of mutual pleasure and fulfillment, and our self-actualization.

I guess that didn't come out right on my end. I meant that I don't want to inflict true punishment because I am not interested in actually punishing anyone. In my eyes it should be be funishment such as your relationship. Please excuse me for being new and therefore in desperate need of a mentor that is of the same style of Dominant (Dam and I are as different as night and day is our dominant tendencies and beliefs).

< Message edited by chipncricket -- 2/16/2010 12:21:02 PM >

(in reply to dreamerdreaming)

RE: 100 punishments - 2/16/2010 12:46:15 PM

dreamerdreaming

Posts: 2839
Status: offline

Roger that, cricket!

*tips hat to the brave newbie*

You are a WELCOME addition to these boards!

BTW, I PM'd you about your last journal entry. I hope you don't take it wrong. Its not meant to offend, but rather to help you maybe see what might be going on. I was on the "s" side of the slash until a few years ago.

Boy am I glad to know that there's at least one newbie out there who doesn't see the need for true punishment, between adults! Its refreshing. Stick around, and we'll have some fun together!

_____________________________

Download SLAVE LOVER. Explicit BDSM porn, with a plot! A love story, on a FemDom planet! http://www.amazon.com/Slave-Lover-Chronicles-Book-ebook/dp/B0031ERBLI/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1261973416&sr=1

(in reply to chipncricket)

RE: 100 punishments - 2/17/2010 10:06:21 AM

velt

Posts: 19
Joined: 2/14/2010
Status: offline

No Computer Time - Revocation of Rights
Punishee may not use computers or various other electronic devices.
Harshness Level 5
Pleasure Level 0

(in reply to moonflayme)

RE: 100 punishments - 2/17/2010 1:11:06 PM

Posts: 4742
Joined: 1/11/2006
Status: offline

Real punishment - reading aloud from Bleak House by Charles Dickens.

Funishment - being caned while reading aloud from Bleak House by Charles Dickens.

(in reply to velt)

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