RE: "Buying" a Submissive Male

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RE: "Buying" a Submissive Male - 2/19/2010 12:40:37 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: OralCuckGurl

It is interesting that so many seem to assume that I am describing someone who would sit around the house all day. Or someone who would be expensive. Or someone who could not support himself if he had to, much less anyone else. I think that my comments disavowed those stereotypes.

I think because a lot of us have had men live with us under the pretense of a 'houseboy' or slaveboy, or even an attentive boyfriend, only to have them sit around and do nothing. Or do very little. Let's be honest here, it's not a slam against submissives, it's a personality issue. There are some people who are NOT self starters. There are some people who function better going to an office. Not everyone can be self employed. Running a house hold and being a domestic requires a lot of skills that are not necessarily aligned or addressed totally with, "I like to please."

Further, the traits like "I like to follow direction," and "I do well under close supervision" and "I respond to punishment," and "I get an erotic thrill being a kept man" are actually probably very, very, VERY bad to have in a stay-at-home-sub, despite the fact that many subs think these are wonderful qualities. I would read those and go - no way, NOT good houseboy material. Any woman who is self employed and running a business knows she needs a total self starter who needs VERY LITTLE direction and who is not needing a lot of supervision. He just knows what needs to get done and does it. Also, any time you have a huge erotic tie to something that must just simply get done, for the sake of the relationship AND the sake of a business, it only stands to cause huge erotic tension when things go wrong. Or if the sub isn't "feeling subby" that day.

Akasha

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(in reply to OralCuckGurl)

RE: "Buying" a Submissive Male - 2/19/2010 1:57:55 PM

TheGreatGarfield

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Joined: 12/24/2009
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Would it be considered "Professional Subs" like how there are "Professional Dom’s"? cause if I could do that I might very well consider it. But when it comes to that kind of work, there'd have to be a bit of an emotional limit and both would have to be okay with that because I think If there is a dependence of money, than it becomes more of a job. But shit yeah! I'd love to get paid for something I like doing anyway.

But on the flip side. if it’s an established relationship be it emotional and sexual or either or, than I'm not so sure. And I have absolutely no problem being with a woman that is financially superior to me, heck, all the women I've ever been with have made more money than me. But I am adult and it is too dangerous to depend on solely on another person for financial support. What happens if your partner/dom/lover *Whatever* decides to blow you of or your relationship simply goes awry, shit! you'd be screwed. I'm a sub, but I'm a survivor first. I do my best not to depend on a person ultimately.

But I guess the concept of a paying a sub or being a paid sub is theory at best, at least in form of an established business. Would there even be a strong demand for this? Are many Doms’ willing to pay for a sub? I've never seen or heard of it.

(in reply to OralCuckGurl)

RE: "Buying" a Submissive Male - 2/19/2010 3:44:47 PM

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AAkasha: I DO understand the sentiments that you have expressed here. Being a "kept" male should never be a situation wherein the sub is essentially some sort of parasite. He should dutifully tend to hearth and home. He should not drain his domme financially (or in any other way). He should be more than capable of holding his own in the outside world whenever he is called upon to do so. And I am sure that all of the Goddesses here have encountered males who were just looking for a free ride under the guise of being "kept." I appreciate hearing the reactions here as they help me to better understand where the Goddesses are coming from. Thanks all!

(in reply to TheGreatGarfield)

RE: "Buying" a Submissive Male - 2/19/2010 3:54:48 PM

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"Manbitch"---what a GREAT moniker! I'd love to be called that!

(in reply to OralCuckGurl)

RE: "Buying" a Submissive Male - 2/19/2010 4:03:56 PM

dreamerdreaming

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manbitch

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RE: "Buying" a Submissive Male - 2/19/2010 4:26:00 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: OralCuckGurl
Being a "kept" male should never be a situation wherein the sub is essentially some sort of parasite. He should dutifully tend to hearth and home. He should not drain his domme financially (or in any other way). He should be more than capable of holding his own in the outside world whenever he is called upon to do so.

Except that the lazy ones do, and a huge percentage of "submissives" looking to be "kept boys" are apparently looking for a Mommy who will pay for everything AND do their laundry. They're just not self starters, or very responsible in general, and that is a real and serious problem.

quote:

And I am sure that all of the Goddesses here have encountered males who were just looking for a free ride under the guise of being "kept." I appreciate hearing the reactions here as they help me to better understand where the Goddesses are coming from. Thanks all!

Pretty much. I used to be very sure that this was how I wanted to live my life, with me as the primary breadwinner and my boy in the house. Couple of bad experiences soured me on that notion permanently, and at this point, being responsible and mature enough to be wholly self supporting is an absolute requirement. I *like* kept pretty boys, but I'm not having one in the house ever again.

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(in reply to OralCuckGurl)

RE: "Buying" a Submissive Male - 2/19/2010 4:57:42 PM

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dreamerdreaming: thank you--I needed that.

Dainty Curtsey,
Manbitch

(in reply to LadyNTrainer)

RE: "Buying" a Submissive Male - 2/19/2010 5:14:11 PM

dreamerdreaming

Posts: 2839
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Anytime, honey.

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(in reply to OralCuckGurl)

RE: "Buying" a Submissive Male - 2/19/2010 5:17:16 PM

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Now I'm "honey"?

(in reply to dreamerdreaming)

RE: "Buying" a Submissive Male - 2/19/2010 5:24:10 PM

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I can and do pay my own way......and that is non negotiable(after all what shall i do, divest myself of monies already earned?),that being said.....the idea of running my Dommes household and doing all i could to make her life easier and less stressful is very appealing.So bottom line.....slave for sale.....purchase price to be decided :)

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(in reply to OralCuckGurl)

RE: "Buying" a Submissive Male - 2/19/2010 5:29:03 PM

dreamerdreaming

Posts: 2839
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*gags the manbitch*

Bend over and take it.

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(in reply to OralCuckGurl)

RE: "Buying" a Submissive Male - 2/19/2010 5:35:13 PM

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I would never have a kept man. I don't think that men excel in this state. Most men, like women, feel validated by being productive. I would expect any man that I am with to be a productive individual, doing something that he is passionate about and that he excels at.

As far as working with him, having him as my subordinate, I don't think that would work for me. I've seen husband-wife dynamics in the workplace and I don't find the results optimal for myriad reasons.

- LA

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(in reply to dreamerdreaming)

RE: "Buying" a Submissive Male - 2/19/2010 6:15:44 PM

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Joined: 8/1/2009
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quote:

ORIGINAL: dreamerdreaming

*gags the manbitch*

Bend over and take it.

Thank you again

< Message edited by OralCuckGurl -- 2/19/2010 6:16:34 PM >

(in reply to dreamerdreaming)

RE: "Buying" a Submissive Male - 2/20/2010 11:08:20 AM

MsLeatherLace69

Posts: 94
Joined: 2/14/2010
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quote:

ORIGINAL: thaprincess

Kept man (or slave) equals sugar baby in my book. Different names but the game is all the same.

Ask men about their happiness with sugar babies. Unless you are extremely rich and very lavish you will get someone who wants to be kept on their terms. Ideas are almost always better than the reality.

(in reply to thaprincess)

RE: "Buying" a Submissive Male - 2/20/2010 11:37:05 AM

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Joined: 11/29/2009
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quote:

ORIGINAL: MsLeatherLace69

quote:

ORIGINAL: thaprincess

Kept man (or slave) equals sugar baby in my book. Different names but the game is all the same.

Ask men about their happiness with sugar babies. Unless you are extremely rich and very lavish you will get someone who wants to be kept on their terms. Ideas are almost always better than the reality.

Unless your able to keep someone else without it straining you financially I don't believe you should have a kept man or woman. And I know of a few sugar babies and it's usually the sugar baby who decides if they want to be with the man or not initially, but in the end the sugar daddy has the final say so. Sort of like how I would imagine a slave would decide if he wanted to be a kept man for a Mistress, but in the end it would be up to her to decide whether or not it would happen. As to whether or not they're happy, that depends. If the woman is more like a gold digger, then no I would assume they wouldn't be happy. But if she's more like a lover and confidante, then yes I could see the potential for happiness.

< Message edited by thaprincess -- 2/20/2010 11:39:00 AM >

(in reply to MsLeatherLace69)

RE: "Buying" a Submissive Male - 2/21/2010 12:01:44 PM

TheGreatGarfield

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Joined: 12/24/2009
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When money is involved to that extent in a relationship I don't really see it leading to anything but trouble, at least from my perspective. Looking from the domminant's who can afford it point of view. If the relationship ends on a bad note, the dom may feel taken advantage of and it might add something to be bitter about.

(in reply to thaprincess)

RE: "Buying" a Submissive Male - 2/21/2010 1:10:28 PM

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I'm not a "kept" submissive, and in fact Mistress and I both have demanding, interesting, sometimes stressful careers. However, she just happens to make more money than I do - a lot more. It's not the basis of my submission, or even something we treat as an especially big deal, but the imbalance in our finances is a hard, cold reality that does accentuate her power in the relationship. Since she's supposed to be the one in charge, that's not a bad thing.

(in reply to TheGreatGarfield)

RE: "Buying" a Submissive Male - 2/21/2010 1:19:52 PM

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Joined: 1/2/2008
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How can I say this without coming off wrong,

Within legal bounds of bribing, coning, and persuading a slave to be yours it can be done; but when it comes to money I think that is considered to be ALWAYS wrong due to the way most countries laws are written.

MstrPBK
St. Paul, MN USA

< Message edited by MstrPBK -- 2/21/2010 1:20:45 PM >

(in reply to Wheldrake)

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