BLoved
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Joined: 8/5/2009
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ORIGINAL: WinsomeDefiance
Hi Bob, I had a few thoughts regrding your original post and figured I'd share them.
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Tells me who was viewing my profile (not that it mattered if they didn't write),
I know that when I first signed up to this site, I would view profiles that interested me, but never wrote to anyone. Mostly, I thought it was disrespectful to innitiate conversations with a dominant. I've since changed my mind about that, but it was my belief at the time. It could be the same for others who viewed your profile and never wrote. There's also the possiblity that an old "men do the courting" mindset that still prevails in the corner of some minds, and so women are not always the first to write, even if they are interested. Maybe you aren't into courting a submissive, but if you were then I'd think it might be a good approach for you. Just a few thoughts for you to ponder. I just think it might not be a bad idea to just write a hello to someone who viewed your profile.
I am sure there are those who expect the man to do the courting, and I've no objections to that, providing I can find something of interest in the two or three paragraphs they write about themselves.
Usually I don't find anything short of an invitation for sex, so I pass them by.
Of course the odd time when I do see a profile I like, I'll write and invite them to read mine. Sometimes we talk, sometimes nothing.
On the other hand, I frequently get mail from Europe, America, Australia ... women who wish there was a man like me in their area, sometimes women who are attached who wanted to offer me some encouragement to hope. Over and over I hear the same problem: just how few people there are who are mature enough to handle the relationship I describe.
Just can't seem to find anyone like that in the area.
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let's me re-check all those profiles where the woman wrote nothing in her profile,
So few actually read profiles, that I can understand why a submissive might find it a waste of time to have much in her profile. For example: All my profile says is that I am not looking to meet anyone and not interested in replying to unsolicited email from anyone. I still get mail from men telling me how much they LOVED what I wrote in my profile and how amazing I am and how they know what I'm looking for. What have you lost, but time, if you took a few minutes to write and say hello to a few of those who viewed your prfile?
Probably nothing, but what would be the point? Lots of people are curious as to what I write, and once having read me lots return to read more. Doesn't mean they want me ... just means they like what I write.
I really don't think the lady I'm seeking is going to have any difficulty expressing her interest directly.
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... so many whose primary focus is sex.
I understand that you don't want casual sex. That's sort of been discussed. But, you know, sex itself isn't a bad thing. If you have a sexual disfunction, I can understand why you might not want someone with a high sex drive, but there are other ways of incorporating pleasure that can satisfy a woman with a high sex drive, that need not involve you being hard and functional. I know this is a touchy subject, and I'm likely to get a scathing response from you, but I promise I am not trying to get any snarky digs or insults in at you.
~smile~
I know, Win.
If I have a 'dysfunction' it is an inability to perform when love is not involved. I just can't. There was a time in my youth when I was less aware that this was not so much an issue, but I've long since grown out of that and understand much better how sex and love work together.
I simply can't do that to someone, and certainly won't do it to me. I respect myself and I hope I respect the other's humanity enough not to try.
For there to be intimacy, there must be love.
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And finally, lest my post become too long winded:
Why must there be so firm a line drawn between sex and true love? Why can't the two go together?
~smile~
They do, at least with me.
Every day ... several times a day ... at least that was what my wife and I shared.
Unless one of us was ill, or my wife pregnant, we lived on the edge every single day.
"Cheap thrills", lol ... no thanks. After what I experienced through true love, there is no way I'll waste my time on anything less.
And lest anyone get the wrong idea ... I do not expect true love to arrive in full bloom, and am suspicious whenever anyone has approached me in that way.
I want the joy of falling in love, from being a complete stranger to being her one and only beloved. I enjoy discovering someone, learning all the little things that make her who she is, learning to inspire the best in her ... wouldn't miss it for the world. 
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Honestly, I don't see your location as the problem because I've looked at your pictures and it seems like a place that has the potential for being a beatiful home filled with love. Its sad that you could have so much to offer someone, and yet you can't seem to get past the negativity you see everywhere you look.
And yet women have fallen in love with me, and I them.
They are not a dime a dozen. They are not common. I compare them to finding a needle in a stack of haystacks, they are so rare.
And yet it is not their intelligence that sets them apart, nor age, nor looks ... it is their heart.
Their need to explore love is so great, they just need the right man to make it safe to love that much.
A man whose love matches their own.
In this world, Win, it is not easy to find a woman who has the courage to be that vulnerable ... to love with her whole heart, and not half-heartedly.
That is who I seek, and I won't settle for less.
Nor should anyone else.
< Message edited by BLoved -- 2/27/2010 12:22:56 PM >
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When your bdsm paradigm makes love essential, expect some flack from those for whom love is anathema.
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RE: No wonder there are so many wannabes ... - 
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