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real dominance and submission ? - 3/1/2010 10:06:28 AM

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How dominant is your dominance? and how submissive is your submission?

Do you dominate your partner because its a selfless act ? or because you really do have a need to dominate him/her ?

Do you submit to your partner because you feel real submission ? or because its his/her turn to take charge?

Are we really capable of being 100% dominant and 100% submission depending on the moment ?

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RE: real dominance and submission ? - 3/1/2010 11:07:12 AM

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*How dominant is your dominance? and how submissive is your submission?
How dominant? Is there a scale we are using? I am in charge, and that's final. So my dominance is quite dominant. When I submit, I submit my whole self, so quite submissive. I am, however, much more comfortable in the submissive role than the dominant role, as long as I'm being led properly.

*Do you dominate your partner because its a selfless act ? or because you really do have a need to dominate him/her ?
Both. I identified that he had submissive tendencies early into our relationship. In order to turn him on to the idea of bdsm I began my journey into switching so that I could lead him into it, instead of push him into a top role he doesn't want. The further I get into this top mind set, the more I love the person I am changing into. A desire to lead him as in turn awakened a desire in myself to change who I had let myself become.

*Do you submit to your partner because you feel real submission ? or because its his/her turn to take charge?
Turn lol. We don't take turns. He dominates me when he feels the need. Sometimes I serve him when I feel the need. We have never set a schedule, or even talked about how often we find we switch, it's just part of how we are.

*Are we really capable of being 100% dominant and 100% submission depending on the moment ?
Overlooking my oddities, I am capable of being 100% fully submissive, but not 100% fully dominant (yet).

(in reply to allthatjaz)

RE: real dominance and submission ? - 3/1/2010 11:09:53 AM

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My Dominance is the Dominance of 10 because My heart is pure

LordAlfredTennysonDom

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RE: real dominance and submission ? - 3/1/2010 11:29:48 AM

WinsomeDefiance

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Jeffff

My Dominance is the Dominance of 10% because My heart is pure

LordAlfredTennysonDom

I fixed your post for you, Jeffff. You can thank me later

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RE: real dominance and submission ? - 3/1/2010 11:36:23 AM

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Define, " Thank"...:)

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RE: real dominance and submission ? - 3/1/2010 11:46:17 AM

WinsomeDefiance

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Jeffff

Define, " Thank"...:)

Thank....spank, fuck, beat, slap, bang, bugger...its always semantics for you bazturds!

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RE: real dominance and submission ? - 3/1/2010 11:47:30 AM

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Ok... works for Me!

~snarls~

Jeff

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RE: real dominance and submission ? - 3/1/2010 5:54:36 PM

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Oooo...new switchy threads....love it! Unfortunately, I'm not involved with anyone (casual or committed) at this time so I really can only answer your first and last questions.

quote:

ORIGINAL: allthatjaz

How dominant is your dominance? and how submissive is your submission?

When I'm in the dominant position...I fill that space completely. The same goes for submission. Either way, those positions, D or s, require that I be inspired by my partner and the energy we feel together.

Do you dominate your partner because its a selfless act ? or because you really do have a need to dominate him/her ?

Do you submit to your partner because you feel real submission ? or because its his/her turn to take charge?

Are we really capable of being 100% dominant and 100% submission depending on the moment ?

For me, yes...with the aforementioned inspiration and energy as the deciding force.

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RE: real dominance and submission ? - 3/2/2010 7:49:04 AM

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I only dominate someone if I respond to their vulnerability and desire for control. I only submit to someone if they make me yield, want to obey them, want to do things for them. I *have* felt both dominant and submissive at the same time, when I interact with both my Master and my female submissive playpartner within the same scene. It was a welter of different emotions and reactions, all mixed up, and felt wonderful!

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RE: real dominance and submission ? - 3/8/2010 7:44:55 AM

beej

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i haven't dominated yet, and i've only had one kinky encounter with my guy so far, so i'll skip to the questions i can address:

quote:

Do you submit to your partner because you feel real submission ? or because its his/her turn to take charge?

i came to CMe not knowing what i was. i wasn't even looking to pick an orientation; a friend suggested that i come for intellectual curiosity since i'd expressed an interest in polyamory. so with my guy that i met here, Wood, in our regular conversation and getting to know each other, i responded submissively to his sexual suggestions, to the scheme of his kink in general (as opposed to how i respond to general conversation in which the usual give and take and decorum preside). i might say that he had a vision that appealed to me, a way of being at home and a way of approaching the human body and sexuality, and when i imagined myself in it, i submitted. the way that i wanted to enjoy it was submissive, so i applied myself to that part. secondarily, i was completely new to kink and i'm sure that influenced the dynamic. i didn't know what i was doing; he was going to show me the ropes. but still, in my past vanilla sexuality, i had always been the emotional dominant. i am not naturally attracted to being submissive. i was attracted to being submissive with him. in turn, he has mostly been dominant but his very last love affair was with a dominatrix, so he was engaging his dominance for me.

now that we know each other quite well, the switch is tugging at us both. Wood did not simply say, "okay, now it's time to practice your dominance." as a function of our emotional relationship, my aggression has come into it. we struggle as part of our play, but fending him off submissively was not enough for me. i wanted to conquer. i began to talk to him conversationally and kinkily from that aggression, and so he suggested that i try to take charge. what we don't want is to take turns. what we do want is to ebb and flow into the switch as part of our total connection so that it is a seamless thing. dunno yet how it's going to work out, but i'm looking forward to it.

quote:

Are we really capable of being 100% dominant and 100% submission depending on the moment?

i think so. the arena of play demands that you do your part, and you are there to enjoy and flex your role. you want to give yourself over to dominance or submission. especially in switching with one partner, you have to channel only one aspect fully so that the other person can experience their aspect. though i have not dominated Wood physically yet, we've already had moments in which i was dominating him conversationally and emotionally. he isn't very comfortable with it yet, and the tone change between us is striking. within myself, i feel a total change and not just a shift. i don't simply feel more aggressive; i feel in charge to the point of responsibility for his feelings and sense of security. as a submissive, i never feel any responsibility; i am only responsive. to me, those are two different animals and not a sliding scale.

great topic. :)

(in reply to Andalusite)

RE: real dominance and submission ? - 4/20/2010 8:54:52 PM

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How dominant is your dominance? and how submissive is your submission?
I think I would pretty well agree with someone who's already answered. My Dominance is very dominant, because when I'm Dominant I am nothing else. My submissive is very submissive, because when I submit it is with everything I have.

Do you dominate your partner because its a selfless act ? or because you really do have a need to dominate him/her ?
Both. For me, in my own personal kink, the "forced" concept is beyond me. I want whoever I'm with to enjoy the things we are doing, regardless of what side of the "tools of trade" I am on. And I really REALLY can't wrap my head around the idea of someone liking "forced" whatever. If you like it, how is it forced???? O.o

O.O I should post that question!!! ^.^

Do you submit to your partner because you feel real submission ? or because its his/her turn to take charge?
I could never submit just because someone wanted me to. Even for a scene. If I'm not feeling it, I'm not letting it happen. Same thing with Dominating too. If I'm not feeling it, it won't happen. Just going through the motions isn't something I'd ever be okay with.

Are we really capable of being 100% dominant and 100% submission depending on the moment ?
Absolutely, for some of us. Some switches label themselves switches because they can't be 100% anything. The definitions for our labels aren't fixed, and everybody has their own version of the "right" answer. The real problem is when someone thinks that theirs is the only right answer. x.x

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RE: real dominance and submission ? - 4/21/2010 5:14:39 AM

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I think its time I answered my own questions!

quote:

ORIGINAL: allthatjaz

How dominant is your dominance? and how submissive is your submission?

My dominance is unquestioning. Its easy, exciting, powerful and highly sexual.
Away from him there would be no 'submission' but with him its perfectly natural

quote:

Do you dominate your partner because its a selfless act ? or because you really do have a need to dominate him/her ?

Oh I do have the need, just as I have the need to eat food when I'm hungry and drink water when I'm thirsty.

quote:

Do you submit to your partner because you feel real submission ? or because its his/her turn to take charge?

We never ever take it in turns. If submission = wanting to please him then the answer to the above is yes but thats not in scenes, its about every day life and making his life feel good.

quote:

Are we really capable of being 100% dominant and 100% submission depending on the moment ?

I think many of us are. As a dominant I can be ruthless, unyielding and cruel, loving and demanding and that fills me with energy. I never doubt my dominance, not even for a moment and so I would definately say that I am very capable of being 100% dominant.
Submission is a little tougher because I can't just switch on my submission but need to be subdued into a submissive place. I wouldn't say that I'm an easy sub because its never offered on a plate but taken there by a firm hand and clever mind. When I am in that place, I never feel that its a game or that I am putting it on. It is real but its very temporary.

< Message edited by allthatjaz -- 4/21/2010 5:18:43 AM >

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RE: real dominance and submission ? - 4/21/2010 5:16:40 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: beej

quote:

Are we really capable of being 100% dominant and 100% submission depending on the moment?

i think so. the arena of play demands that you do your part, and you are there to enjoy and flex your role. you want to give yourself over to dominance or submission. especially in switching with one partner, you have to channel only one aspect fully so that the other person can experience their aspect. though i have not dominated Wood physically yet, we've already had moments in which i was dominating him conversationally and emotionally. he isn't very comfortable with it yet, and the tone change between us is striking. within myself, i feel a total change and not just a shift. i don't simply feel more aggressive; i feel in charge to the point of responsibility for his feelings and sense of security. as a submissive, i never feel any responsibility; i am only responsive. to me, those are two different animals and not a sliding scale.

great topic. :)

Love this ...ty!

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RE: real dominance and submission ? - 4/21/2010 8:23:44 AM

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Do you dominate your partner because its a selfless act ? or because you really do have a need to dominate him/her ?

I love to dominate, the rush of power and control is amazing and I crave it like nicotine or chocolate but a large percentage of the appeal for me is knowing how it feels to submit and it both turns me on and satisfies me to put him through what I have felt.

Do you submit to your partner because you feel real submission ? or because its his/her turn to take charge?

I tend to submit more to him because he is the more dominant switch in our relationship but doing so gives me such a sense of belonging and self-worth I do not get from my dominance. I have never felt so useful and I love feeling that way.

Are we really capable of being 100% dominant and 100% submission depending on the moment ?

In the moment am can certainly feel submission within every inch of my being. I have not yet developed as much of a dominant persona as we spend much less time playing that way but I hope to feel stronger in that role some time soon

(in reply to allthatjaz)

RE: real dominance and submission ? - 4/21/2010 9:58:40 AM

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Real? Is that sort of like 'twue?' Heh That said, I am poly and while I switch between dom and sub, it is with different partners. I do not switch roles with one partner. Maybe I'm not a twue switch.

How dominant is your dominance? and how submissive is your submission?
All the way. I don't know of a scale to measure that sort of thing, but it is complete for me. With my boy, I am in control. Period. With Master, he is in control. Period.

Do you dominate your partner because its a selfless act ? or because you really do have a need to dominate him/her ?
My compassion is one factor in keeping control, but it is not the reason I choose to dominate him. I need it. I sought him out to express that need. He is the perfect counter-part to my dominance.

Do you submit to your partner because you feel real submission ? or because its his/her turn to take charge?
His turn? Goodness, I think I'd be in trouble if I even suggested there was the possibility for it to be someone else's turn to take charge of me. I submit to him because I have faith in his ability to lead. I submit because it is who I am. He takes charge because that is what he does.

Are we really capable of being 100% dominant and 100% submission depending on the moment ?
I'm not sure that it's 100% even for those who identify with only one role. 99.9% maybe. I can't speak for anyone but myself -- I am 100% both at every moment. It depends more on the person than on a whim.

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RE: real dominance and submission ? - 4/22/2010 12:13:56 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: aphrodite5

Real? Is that sort of like 'twue?' Heh That said, I am poly and while I switch between dom and sub, it is with different partners. I do not switch roles with one partner. Maybe I'm not a twue switch.

Thanks for the rest of your answers but why the sarcasm?
When I said 'real submission' Im sorry but I thought it was the same as 'genuine' and real and genuine were very relevant to the question. Some switch couples are geared far more to one side than the other and whilst one side may feel like the the most natural thing in the world, the other side may be a bit wobbly.
You clearly understood the question but if you can phrase it better without getting distracted, then please do.
Remember its the discussion thats important and not the semantics

< Message edited by allthatjaz -- 4/22/2010 12:19:43 AM >

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RE: real dominance and submission ? - 4/22/2010 5:25:19 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: allthatjaz

How dominant is your dominance? and how submissive is your submission?
- the degree of submission is usually greater then my degree of dominance I do exert.

Do you dominate your partner because its a selfless act? or because you really do have a need to dominate him/her?
- it's instinctual and being a person who's guided by instinct I actions are for the mutual benefit of me and my sub.

Do you submit to your partner because you feel real submission ? or because its his/her turn to take charge?
- when I submit is is an honest action on my part.

Are we really capable of being 100% dominant and 100% submission depending on the moment ?

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Take the pain
Take the pleasure
I'm the master of both
Close your eyes, not your mind
Let me into your soul
I'm gonna work it 'til your totally blown

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RE: real dominance and submission ? - 4/27/2010 10:29:01 AM

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How dominant is your dominance? and how submissive is your submission?

If seduced to reveal either side (with in the agreed upon boundaries) its 100%

you dominate your partner because its a selfless act ? or because you really do have a need to dominate him/her ?

yes/yes

Do you submit to your partner because you feel real submission ? or because its his/her turn to take charge?

yes/no

Are we really capable of being 100% dominant and 100% submission depending on the moment ?

yes /only with a switch on the spur of the moment thingy. can't imagine a True hard and fast Dom letting me change gears (snickers) can have a hell of a lot of fun trying to seduce one tho (wicked grin)

A proud Switch
Its only kinky the first time

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RE: real dominance and submission ? - 4/27/2010 10:39:35 AM

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No one can really define themselves-due to the habit of the self lie. Your mirrors must always be in the reactions of those around you.

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RE: real dominance and submission ? - 4/27/2010 11:08:38 AM

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Faith in oneself is the best and safest course, I hope that I may always desire more than I can accomplish

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