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ORIGINAL: kittinSol

And you call others childish ? If you weren't so old, I'd give you a bloody good spanking.

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ORIGINAL: cloudboy


You FACTINISTA don't know anything.... nothing -- nada -- go away. Leave Sanity alone!!

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ORIGINAL: BoiJen

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ORIGINAL: hlen5

It's funny how quickly this got reduced to a source bashing fest.

Domestic Violence - A preexisting condition?

I have empathy and compassion for those women AND men who are caught in DV. I also believe that the first time someone abuses you, you are a victim. The second time, you are a volunteer.

I just gotta ask...when was the last time you were faced with choosing between your home, possibly children, friends, family, and livelihood and not being beat?

When was the last you actually began reflecting the unhealthy parts of your past manifesting themselves physically in your current relationships? when was the last time you had to face an actual paradigm shift so big and so hugely shattering that it has to break you down to your smallest parts so that you can rebuild yourself to a whole person just because the person you trusted as your partner or parent is an abusive asshole? How much choice is actually left in all of that?

Domestic violence doesn't just happen to adults. When kids get caught up in it, it's happening to them too. Are they, then, "volunteers"?

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ORIGINAL: rulemylife

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ORIGINAL: hlen5

I also believe that the first time someone abuses you, you are a victim. The second time, you are a volunteer.

That seems to be what the insurance companies believe also, but is that a basis for denying coverage?

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ORIGINAL: hlen5

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ORIGINAL: rulemylife

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ORIGINAL: hlen5

I also believe that the first time someone abuses you, you are a victim. The second time, you are a volunteer.

That seems to be what the insurance companies believe also, but is that a basis for denying coverage?

I think insurance being denied is assinine and wrong, wrong, wrong. 

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ORIGINAL: hlen5

Insurance should not be denied to DV victims. End of story for me. Staying is a choice. Also end of story for me.

Please don't think that because I believe it's a choice, that I think, "Tough shit and you're on your own for staying".  I don't at all. I'm not saying it's not a gut-wrenching, life changing decision. At the time the victim most needs inner strength, it's when that strength is at it's lowest ebb. It's unfair. I'm not playing blame the victim.

Your decision to change your life pattern is admirable and laudable.  You made the CHOICE to stop being victimized by your upbringing.

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ORIGINAL: BoiJen

quote:

ORIGINAL: hlen5

Insurance should not be denied to DV victims. End of story for me. Staying is a choice. Also end of story for me.

Please don't think that because I believe it's a choice, that I think, "Tough shit and you're on your own for staying".  I don't at all. I'm not saying it's not a gut-wrenching, life changing decision. At the time the victim most needs inner strength, it's when that strength is at it's lowest ebb. It's unfair. I'm not playing blame the victim.

Your decision to change your life pattern is admirable and laudable.  You made the CHOICE to stop being victimized by your upbringing.

And yet everyday, I know individuals who can't break that cycle on both ends and the abused and abusers.

Your logic is the same as that of insurance agencies who deny victims benefits. In this world you don't get to have it both ways. You don't get to say "you're a volunteer" and not blame the victims.

Let's look at it this way. There's always three individuals at least involved in an abusive situation. The abuser, the victim, and the complacent/witness. The way I see it, is if you're not advocating for these victims...ALL of them...then you're as much of a part of that victimization of one individual as the abuser is.

There really is not much of a middle road when it comes to domestic violence, and, like most other things of such severity, you're either part of the solution or part of the problem.

Please understand that only the first two statements are directed toward the previous poster. The others are general.

boi

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ORIGINAL: Silence8

I guess one of the things that interested me in this report is how they try to get to the heart of a greater systemic attack on women, whether through legislation on abortion or, in this case, discriminatory policies toward abuse victims. I think 8 states were quoted as having domestic violence as a preexisting condition, these states generally with strong social conservative elements, such that a whole sort of multi-flanked attack can be deduced.

Also, women who have stillborn babies could be charged with first-degree murder. The underlying psychology seems to indicate basically that a woman's body is not her own, but property of the father, the (paternal) state, and ultimately her children. What's critical to notice, I think, is that the very same babies whom social conservatives pretend to want to save are just as soon denied medical care when it is most critical. There's something missing, as it were.

I swear, the way our government is functioning is that it allows its supporters (e.g., Tea Partiers, this obnoxious 'Sanity' fellow, etc.) to lead this ridiculous and ultimately extremely obscene double-life type of existence, where all the violence that one wants to enact is given to the State to perform. Thus suburbanites can assume these pristine, pure, PTA personality trips, all the while the State is acting out for them all of their most excessive Id fantasies (as if the superego and the Id were shaking hands). The whole point of abortion as an issue, for social conservatives, is precisely this sublime type of joy, the joy of torturing, embarrassing, and exposing women in their most intimate moments. There's nothing else there. Not life. And certainly not love.

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ORIGINAL: Sanity


Sounds like you and Silence8 are practically a match made in heaven. Everything's a conspiracy...