Another Asperger Syndrome Thread

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lusciouslips19 -> Another Asperger Syndrome Thread (3/4/2010 8:07:23 AM)
So I have a son with Aspergers who is 11. Next year he will be starting middle school. He does extremely well in school. He has the sharp mind typical of the Aspie. He is senstive and sweet and funny. Now the challenges. Someone with an Aspie child put it into perfect words. He said,"Its like you are living your life and theirs". This is so true. He does what hes told, but he gets sidetracked easily and he doesnt do anything of his own accord. He needs constant prodding and reminders to stay on track when getting ready for school. He does have a morning checklist but he wont look t it unless hes reminded. He has calenders but will only look at them when prompted. I am concerned with how he will lead an independent life? It would work if he could learn to make his own schedulers and check appointments and such. At this point hes not capable. What advice can other Aspies or parents of Aspies give me to move these types of training and skillbuilding along? At ths point he cant do anything without being told step by step. Except for homework. He always does his homework.

Louve00 -> RE: Another Asperger Syndrome Thread (3/4/2010 8:24:36 AM)
Lusciouslips, I don't know all that much about the disease. I wish I had advice to give you. My sister has a son with Aspergers syndrome. She and my brother in law call it the hidden disability because of how bright he is and how well he does in school. I have run across a couple of people on CM that have it, and know have one woman in mind who makes me smile because she actually likes her syndrome. I will talk to my sister, if you like, and will cmail anything she can tell me. I do know (from that woman on CM) that not ingesting sugar, milk white flour and gluten seems to help her better.

lusciouslips19 -> RE: Another Asperger Syndrome Thread (3/4/2010 8:39:32 AM)
Thanks. I figure someone who has it or experience and advice will come across this thread.

GreedyTop -> RE: Another Asperger Syndrome Thread (3/4/2010 9:03:30 AM)
~fr~ there's new show called parenthood, in which there's an 8 yr old newly diagnosed with Aspergers (I think it's on nbc..). no help, Lushy, I know...

NovelApproach -> RE: Another Asperger Syndrome Thread (3/4/2010 1:38:25 PM)
Lucious - Trouble says he had similar issues as a kid and to an extent, still does. Unless he turns his hyper-focus on what needs to be done, its not all that difficult for him to get distracted and lose track of what he's supposed to be doing. One of the things that helped a lot was joining ROTC and Civil Air Patrol, where the was a strong sense of structure, with clear expectations and clear consequences for not following through - YMMV. As someone with a pretty good knowledge base in CBT (Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, not Cock & Ball Torture, though I'm good at that too), I recommend setting up a very clear routine, with rewards and punishments in place to reinforce it. You're basically going to have to "train" him into following it. Start simple and at the top of the list, and work your way down. He'll eventually get used to doing the whole thing as a matter of course, but you'll probably have to keep walking him through it for awhile. If it hasn't been ruled out yet, you may want to have him screened for ADD/ADHD - if he's got that in addition to AS, medication might help significantly. Trouble suggests some sort of programmable calandar/alarm system, probably on the computer or phone, since your boy has difficulty remembering to check lists and calendars. He's seen one in action, but he doesn't remember what it was called - cell phones are pretty good for this too. But a series of alarms with attached messages - "you should be doing #4 on your list" or "it'll be time to leave in 15 minutes" or "its Thursday so you have soccer this afternoon" can help keep him on track.

thepillowdreamer -> RE: Another Asperger Syndrome Thread (3/4/2010 1:47:17 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: NovelApproach Trouble suggests some sort of programmable calandar/alarm system, probably on the computer or phone, since your boy has difficulty remembering to check lists and calendars. He's seen one in action, but he doesn't remember what it was called - cell phones are pretty good for this too. But a series of alarms with attached messages - "you should be doing #4 on your list" or "it'll be time to leave in 15 minutes" or "its Thursday so you have soccer this afternoon" can help keep him on track. i was about to suggest this. i have add and even with post-its and calendars everywhere, shit always passes me by. when i was your son's age, i used an athletic watch my dad programmed for me. ehunno if they have alarms anymore, because that was back when they were one of those "it" things to wear, but maybe an electric alarm clock with a list next to it could help? say, in the kitchen, have one programmed for when he has to do chores: he'll hear the sound, it'll remind him that he has to do something, then be reminded of what that something is when he sees "unload dishwasher" or whatever.

barelynangel -> RE: Another Asperger Syndrome Thread (3/4/2010 3:07:44 PM)
I was just about to post that a friend of mine uses a blackberry for her son and has things programed in that she uses that is connected to HER/HIS calendar and when something comes up on the calendar it has a ring tone for him and is a reminder for him. I don't know if there are types of asperger's but that is what she does to help herself and get him interested in his schedule. She also uses doing his schedule for the next day like homework, every day she has him draw up his schedule for the next day on the calendar on the computer. Once he is done, she checks it and goes over it with him. He corrects his mistakes and there is a reminder every day for him to "DO YOUR SCHEDULE". She said its time consuming but seems to help her stress and his. They still use the schedule for him to mark things off as he does them. She also doesn't let him slide by if he forgets. He has his responsibilities and she has high demands of him. She says, asperger's or not, he will have to live in the world. Better hard on him now when i am there to pick him up, brush him off etc, than let him experience falling in the real world later because i was too worried about him falling now. It sounds like setting up reminders with some help now and maybe he will be able to set his own as he gets older, with all the technology out there and only becoming more so, if there isn't something now, i bet by the time he is capable of being independent i.e., 10 years from now, there will be something to help him with reminders and such. There are, I believe, also talking alarms out there wherein you can program what you want it to say. This could be a good thing for around the house. Perhaps there are support groups for parents with asperger children out there wherein they will have other suggestions based on experience, this seems to be a issue with many asperger children. angel

LafayetteLady -> RE: Another Asperger Syndrome Thread (3/4/2010 5:54:57 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: NovelApproach Lucious - Trouble says he had similar issues as a kid and to an extent, still does. Unless he turns his hyper-focus on what needs to be done, its not all that difficult for him to get distracted and lose track of what he's supposed to be doing. One of the things that helped a lot was joining ROTC and Civil Air Patrol, where the was a strong sense of structure, with clear expectations and clear consequences for not following through - YMMV. As someone with a pretty good knowledge base in CBT (Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, not Cock & Ball Torture, though I'm good at that too), I recommend setting up a very clear routine, with rewards and punishments in place to reinforce it. You're basically going to have to "train" him into following it. Start simple and at the top of the list, and work your way down. He'll eventually get used to doing the whole thing as a matter of course, but you'll probably have to keep walking him through it for awhile. If it hasn't been ruled out yet, you may want to have him screened for ADD/ADHD - if he's got that in addition to AS, medication might help significantly. Trouble suggests some sort of programmable calandar/alarm system, probably on the computer or phone, since your boy has difficulty remembering to check lists and calendars. He's seen one in action, but he doesn't remember what it was called - cell phones are pretty good for this too. But a series of alarms with attached messages - "you should be doing #4 on your list" or "it'll be time to leave in 15 minutes" or "its Thursday so you have soccer this afternoon" can help keep him on track. I know that it is difficult to think of "punishing" him for something that you believe he can't help. But if there are no consequences he will never learn to remember. You say he always does his homework so he CAN remember to do things. Does he go to the bathroom by himself? I'm not trying to be flippant, but teaching him habits will eventually sink in. You have to remember to not pick up the slack as you guide him along the way. Most cell phones have calandars in them where you can set reminders and frequency. Yes it is a lot of work, but in the long run, checking that schedule will become a habit just like other things that he can now do without reminding. Small rewards like a special snack or extra time with the television or computer, small punishments, like missing a snack or going to bed early or losing playtime eventually will make an impact. My son has ADD, and one thing that I've found is that I make him repeat what I tell him to do so that I know he has listened and he can't use it as an excuse for not doing something (to say he didn't hear me or whatever). Does it always work? No, of course not. My son is 16 and going through the "I know everything stage" all teenagers go through, and his consequences are bigger than going to bed early. A special needs child is tons of extra work, but without it, that child will have difficulty surviving in the real world, and you won't always be there to pick up the pieces.

Lockit -> RE: Another Asperger Syndrome Thread (3/5/2010 9:25:53 AM)
((((((Lushy)))))) At times I know you and I are going through similar things and yet they are so different too. When my son was first released to me I talked to someone who cared for a ninety something year old man and I was amazed at some of the similarities. Talking to him helped a lot, but it took a lot of time to get to the things that helped. The problem I have with Charlie is that one day it all will make sense to him and the next day it won't. One day he is up nights and the next days. There isn't enough consistency to set about creating patterns that he can learn. One day one method works and the next it doesn't. One day I have to lead him by the hand and the next he is taking it upon himself to do things on his own. I find myself having to just flow with whatever place he is in and that is a worry because I know that when I am not his care giver, there could be problems! I want to move him into things I know will make it easier for the next person to care for him or for him if he is in a facility or with people far different than mom, but sometimes at the moment, there just isn't much you can do except keep trying and waiting. It is part of the parental pain, not being able to control things so that there is a best outcome. I just use what seems to matter to him in the moment, what he is good at and try to entice him. And some days, I just give it up and figure there is always tomorrow. Forcing him in any way doesn't work! He just becomes more firm in his stand... until he forgets it anyway! lol I bought a cork board that has a section that I can use markers to write on. We are going to try hanging that in his room and so far I have decided that if he reads it on his own and can understand it, one day out of seven, I will be happy and he will be rewarded on those day, but he isn't consistent even in rewards! One day taco bell matters and the next day it is ice cream or a drive in the car. It's hard to set things up when they are constantly changing! Hang in there!

NiteOwl1971 -> RE: Another Asperger Syndrome Thread (3/5/2010 12:07:59 PM)
I am going to suggest something that probably won't make sense at first, but, as one with ADHD, I can tell you that the whole reward/punishment thing doesn't work as well on those with ADHD and asperger's as those without those conditions would like to think. There are only 2 timeframes that are coded into us. It's NOW, and NOT-NOW, but that is another topic, but is still worth noting. What is common with ADHD and aspergers is that they are "big picture thinkers," which means that we are not content with our own little corner, but want to know how our own little corner fits in with the grand scheme. The other thing worth noting, and this is something that I hadn't realized until I was tested, and it became apparent that there was one way and only one I could complete the task, was that I do better working backwards. That task was I was given 3 or 4 flash cards with pictures on them, and had to put them in order so that a story was told. I could NOT start at the first picture and go from there. I HAD to start at the last one, and work my way to the beginning. What I'm saying, is that, perhaps, your son would do better by both of you sitting down and setting the goals for the morning for him. Ok, we want to be at this point at this time, and this, this, and this need to be done by then. If he works it out himself on the schedule, it will stick with him better, because he's working at it from an angle that makes sense to him. (oh, and just to make sure that you have enough time to be distracted a few times, multiply the estimated time by 3.) All of the suggestions that I read, and I admit, I didn't read all of them, seemed to go from the perspective of "this makes sense to me that doesn't have either of these conditions," but that perspective also plays directly into your sons weaknesses, which is not only frusterating to you, but even more so to him. I know that when I put something down and immediately lose it, I get very very very very frusterated. Imagine having that each and every day. Sometimes, all it takes is to have the agreed upon goals put up noticably. Like a big sign with "AM GOALS" with the list below it can help, but ONLY IF he has a hand in designing it, as shapes, and colors, and textures can be very significant. I get bored with dull black and white, I like yellows, and purples, and greens, and reds, and oranges. And there are more times than I care to count, where I have keyed on colors rather than words, especially if I'm in a hurry, and under stress, and fighing my brain shutting down all the while trying to resolve the difficulty that originally caused the stress. You need to come up with a system that he not only WANTS to use but is also EXCITED about using, and then it will not only work, but also be easier for him to maintain, regardless of how complicated you want to think that it is. HTH

LafayetteLady -> RE: Another Asperger Syndrome Thread (3/5/2010 2:15:00 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: NiteOwl1971 I am going to suggest something that probably won't make sense at first, but, as one with ADHD, I can tell you that the whole reward/punishment thing doesn't work as well on those with ADHD and asperger's as those without those conditions would like to think. There are only 2 timeframes that are coded into us. It's NOW, and NOT-NOW, but that is another topic, but is still worth noting. What is common with ADHD and aspergers is that they are "big picture thinkers," which means that we are not content with our own little corner, but want to know how our own little corner fits in with the grand scheme. The other thing worth noting, and this is something that I hadn't realized until I was tested, and it became apparent that there was one way and only one I could complete the task, was that I do better working backwards. That task was I was given 3 or 4 flash cards with pictures on them, and had to put them in order so that a story was told. I could NOT start at the first picture and go from there. I HAD to start at the last one, and work my way to the beginning. What I'm saying, is that, perhaps, your son would do better by both of you sitting down and setting the goals for the morning for him. Ok, we want to be at this point at this time, and this, this, and this need to be done by then. If he works it out himself on the schedule, it will stick with him better, because he's working at it from an angle that makes sense to him. (oh, and just to make sure that you have enough time to be distracted a few times, multiply the estimated time by 3.) All of the suggestions that I read, and I admit, I didn't read all of them, seemed to go from the perspective of "this makes sense to me that doesn't have either of these conditions," but that perspective also plays directly into your sons weaknesses, which is not only frusterating to you, but even more so to him. I know that when I put something down and immediately lose it, I get very very very very frusterated. Imagine having that each and every day. Sometimes, all it takes is to have the agreed upon goals put up noticably. Like a big sign with "AM GOALS" with the list below it can help, but ONLY IF he has a hand in designing it, as shapes, and colors, and textures can be very significant. I get bored with dull black and white, I like yellows, and purples, and greens, and reds, and oranges. And there are more times than I care to count, where I have keyed on colors rather than words, especially if I'm in a hurry, and under stress, and fighing my brain shutting down all the while trying to resolve the difficulty that originally caused the stress. You need to come up with a system that he not only WANTS to use but is also EXCITED about using, and then it will not only work, but also be easier for him to maintain, regardless of how complicated you want to think that it is. HTH I realize that you have been diagnosed yourself, but your statements are not true of all Attention Deficits. Like anything else, there is some individuality involved. Many attention deficits are pretty self absorbed and that "big picture" doesn't mean a whole lot. In fact, the "big picture" will cause information overload and backfire. It is important to note that there is a HUGE difference between adult attention deficit learning techniques and adolescents. With adults, they more than likely have had the condition all their lives and need to learn new habits to be productive in society. With adolescents, the goal is to teach them those organizational habits before they start compensating to get by. Lockit, with all the respect you deserve for everything you have accomplished with your son and his injuries, an asperger child will better be able to learn those techniques over the long haul, even though many days will seem like backsliding. NiteOwl1971, while you are correct that positive/negative consequences with special needs children may not work the same as with unafflicted children, studies have shown that for the most part, learning consequences are especially necessary. While I hate to use the Pavlov's dog comparison, that is pretty much how it works. One of the most important things kids need to learn from their parents is responsibility/accountability. Children with attention deficit or asperger''s need to know that they can't fall back on "I can't because I have ______." That's one of my son's favorite ploys (even though he can't grasp after all these years it doesn't work on me). I have found along with all the other reminders, notes and nudges, one of the best things to do is when you give an instruction, have the child repeat it back to you. Not only does this help with accountability, it also fires different parts of the brain and helps to reinforce the instruction into memory. My son will often use this technique on himself when trying to remember something like a phone number. He will repeat it out loud to himself. Part of this is because we use different parts of our brain for speech than for reading something silently. When you have any special needs child, repetition is the "name of the game." ETA: The main rule of that game is that mom (or dad) can't nudge them along no matter how frustrated they become.

lusciouslips19 -> RE: Another Asperger Syndrome Thread (3/5/2010 5:18:44 PM)
I started having my son repeat things back to me years ago to make sure he was listening. Today he actually woke up early of his own accord because he couldnt finish his homework the night before. Thats progress. But the week before he tried to do the same thing and it was a day I decided to try to let him get ready for school without my prompting. It was a failure and 10 minutes before we were suppose to leave he remembered he didnt do his homework, I think I am either going to get him an electronic calendar with an alarm in it for next year. I tried getting him a phone last year but it didnt work because all he did was use it to play games and he let the batteries die out and he didnt use it for phone calls because he doesnt think to call anyone. But I may get him a blackberry or something like that. Im going to have to see. But I do like the idea of a calender with alarms available and they do have a function for setting reminders for appointments on blackberries. Its all hit or miss but its true that his motivation plays a part. But I lubs dat kid![:)]

lusciouslips19 -> RE: Another Asperger Syndrome Thread (3/5/2010 6:18:33 PM)
This thread is concerning Asperger Syndrome. Not ADHD. Its different. The lack of focus he has may at times be ADD but no "H" component. Plus the Asperger mind can be so focused and detailed that they can be the ones who create new innovations.

NiteOwl1971 -> RE: Another Asperger Syndrome Thread (3/5/2010 6:32:47 PM)
Do you want to know the main difference between Aspergers and ADHD/ADD? FYI, ADHD and ADD are interchangable. There are subclasses of ADD, but that primarily speaks to whether the hyperactivity is physical or mental. The main difference between Aspergers and ADHD is that Aspergers patients have difficulty in knowing what's real or not. I have a nephew with asperger's, btw. That focus that you are describing is called hyperfocus. It is common in both. And the world just disappears while it's happening. There are ways to use that as well, and once you are aware of it happening, it can be controlled.

lusciouslips19 -> RE: Another Asperger Syndrome Thread (3/5/2010 6:40:22 PM)
You are so wrong. Prey tell, what are you credentials and the sources for your information?? Aspergers is closer to Autism than ADHD. So step off unless you can cite your sources. In any event, I dont want this thread derailed because you think everythings about you. Edited: becuase i see you are comparing Adhd and ADD. But the difference is not mental vs. physical. The difference is one with ADD but no Hyperactivity and one has hyperactivity as a component. Thats the difference.

lusciouslips19 -> RE: Another Asperger Syndrome Thread (3/5/2010 6:47:11 PM)
Baloney on Aspergers not knowing fantasy from reality too. Again, cite your sources. Observations from one person does not make it truth .

lusciouslips19 -> RE: Another Asperger Syndrome Thread (3/5/2010 6:58:24 PM)
Taken from Autism.lovetoknow.com Asperger focuses more on attention problems that include other medical issues such as language difficulties, a need for strict routines, self-stimulating behaviors and obsessive rituals. Unlike the child with ADHD, a child with Asperger does have the ability to focus on an activity of interest. A child with AS will be able to focus his attention on an area of interest with an intensity that excludes everything else in his environment. For example, a child with AS may spin an object for hours and refuse to engage in any other activity. The child with Asperger may be inattentive to activities outside of his interest and have trouble focusing on his teacher's verbal instructions. There is also a difference in the emotional expression in Asperger and ADHD. A child with Aspergers may get angry if his routine or favorite activity is interrupted. Yet, he does not generally show a wide range of emotions in public. Since he may have trouble understanding other people's emotions, he may react inappropriately. A child with ADHD may be prone to express emotions clearly. The child with ADHD may not be able to focus on any activity or subject for more than a few minutes. She may switch activities a number of times before completing a task. She might have trouble understanding instructions because she has trouble focusing on the directions. She is often impatient and may act out and express her emotions without first thinking about possible consequences.

NiteOwl1971 -> RE: Another Asperger Syndrome Thread (3/5/2010 6:59:02 PM)
quote: Edited: becuase i see you are comparing Adhd and ADD. But the difference is not mental vs. physical. The difference is one with ADD but no Hyperactivity and one has hyperactivity as a component. Thats the difference. There is hyperactivity either way. The only question is whether it's mental or physical. As far as people with this condition is concerned, there IS no difference, as you are moving one way or another. Since you are asking for credentials, what are yours? I've had ADHD all my life, and I research. Show me your's and I'll show you mine. Here's a couple to start ya out: http://www.aspergers.com/faq.htm http://www.retrainthebrain.com/autism.html As for credentials, well, all that your asking tells me is that you know I'm right, but don't like what I'm saying. Oh, and this is a direct quote from the aspergers.com/faq page: * "Please explain the basic differences between diagnosing Asperger's and ADHD. My son, who has been diagnosed with ADHD, exhibits several of symptoms of Asperger's as well as most of those associated with ADHD, so I'm now curious about the differences...." * Many children with Pervasive Developmental Disorders (PDD) (as you know Asperger's Disorder is one of them) do meet the diagnostic criteria for ADHD. DSM-IV prohibits diagnosing ADHD when there is PDD since all the ADHD symptoms can be attributed to PDD. Clinicians who overlook other symptoms of PDD tend to diagnose these children as ADHD. I'm wrong am I?

lusciouslips19 -> RE: Another Asperger Syndrome Thread (3/5/2010 7:02:21 PM)
My discusions with you are over. You have not come here to give anything positive . You came to talk about your issues with ADHD and Just came to bash others suggestions. If you want to contribute tools that work with ASPERGERS and have seen the effectiveness, by all means. If not, Im not here to argue with you.

lusciouslips19 -> RE: Another Asperger Syndrome Thread (3/5/2010 7:04:21 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: NiteOwl1971 quote: Edited: becuase i see you are comparing Adhd and ADD. But the difference is not mental vs. physical. The difference is one with ADD but no Hyperactivity and one has hyperactivity as a component. Thats the difference. There is hyperactivity either way. The only question is whether it's mental or physical. As far as people with this condition is concerned, there IS no difference, as you are moving one way or another. Since you are asking for credentials, what are yours? I've had ADHD all my life, and I research. Show me your's and I'll show you mine. Here's a couple to start ya out: http://www.aspergers.com/faq.htm http://www.retrainthebrain.com/autism.html As for credentials, well, all that your asking tells me is that you know I'm right, but don't like what I'm saying. Oh, and this is a direct quote from the aspergers.com/faq page: * "Please explain the basic differences between diagnosing Asperger's and ADHD. My son, who has been diagnosed with ADHD, exhibits several of symptoms of Asperger's as well as most of those associated with ADHD, so I'm now curious about the differences...." * Many children with Pervasive Developmental Disorders (PDD) (as you know Asperger's Disorder is one of them) do meet the diagnostic criteria for ADHD. DSM-IV prohibits diagnosing ADHD when there is PDD since all the ADHD symptoms can be attributed to PDD. Clinicians who overlook other symptoms of PDD tend to diagnose these children as ADHD. I'm wrong am I? Those are not scientific websites. They are slanted and created by those against Ritalin.

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