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ORIGINAL: WinsomeDefiance

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ORIGINAL: osf

i just read a profile where a woman said she wants a dom with a sense of humor because d/s was not real

so the question is do you find your sense of commitment any less than you would or have in a marriage

does being socially sanctioned make marriage more real?

The underlined sentence does not make sense to me.  Are doms without a sense of humor fake or is it the d/s that's fake with a humor challenged dom?  Why is someone who thinks d/s isn't real, looking for a dominant?

Osf, not picking on you, I  promise.  But, how did you jump from that single statement to the correlation you are making between a commitment to d/s and marraige?  What am I missing?

Am I just being dense and not getting the underlined statement?  Can someone explain it to me?

Ok, that out of the way, I'll answer the actual questions. 

Since I never expect to ever marry again, I sure hope that my sense of commitment to any relationship I'm in would be as strong without it.

If I was looking for sanction from society, it might make it more real.  But I'm not.  So, no.

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ORIGINAL: osf

so the question is do you find your sense of commitment any less than you would or have in a marriage

does being socially sanctioned make marriage more real?

quote:


As to whether D/s is comparable to marriage, I would say that it's not, because the D/s isn't the crux of the relationship, the people are. People who are Doms and subs are comparable to people who are vanilla. Commitment level depends on those involved.

quote:

ORIGINAL: osf

i just read a profile where a woman said she wants a dom with a sense of humor because d/s was not real

so the question is do you find your sense of commitment any less than you would or have in a marriage

does being socially sanctioned make marriage more real?

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ORIGINAL: osf

she felt d/s wasn't real so i got to wondering what women felt about that and how they compared it to a socially recognized relationship that is considered real

to me all human relationships and activities have a certain unreality about them as they are only real by consensus

quote:

ORIGINAL: osf

i just read a profile where a woman said she wants a dom with a sense of humor because d/s was not real

so the question is do you find your sense of commitment any less than you would or have in a marriage

does being socially sanctioned make marriage more real?

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ORIGINAL: osf
does being socially sanctioned make marriage more real?

quote:

she felt d/s wasn't real so i got to wondering what women felt about that and how they compared it to a socially recognized relationship that is considered real

to me all human relationships and activities have a certain unreality about them as they are only real by consensus

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ORIGINAL: sweetboundesire

I think finding a Dom you can feel a connection to that has a sense of humor is the twigs and berries!

Humor and a good sense of it are a lost art. So many people are wrapped up in their little tiffs and dramas. The way, I find, for myself to relax about issues or any obstacle, seems, to be able to laugh at it. I'm not a comedian, and I don't say I have the art of humor, yet I can be a silly goose. Still humor to me is a gift right up there with rocket science or mind reading....or something. Somehow, if two people are able to establish something real and have a good give & take of humor banter, well humor is like a social bandaid to any aliment. I'm new to figuring it out, yet someone has been teaching me. I can be twice shy and I overthink, yet the humor aspect, his ability to make me laugh and give it right back, ugh...it just is "good feeling" Plus he's smart as hell, genuine, real and quick.

anyone who finds this combo, count your lucky stars......the scales tilt in your favor and his/hers.


edited because i re-read the prev posts...

concerning marriage, I almost think it's the best way to end a relationship.
I'm a libra, subject to change, yet feel I am most committed to someone when the door to exit is right there in front of me. My commitment is show in my freedom of choice to be who I am with who I am with with no legal binds around me. I cannot understand the construct of marriage. Not after divorce. Marriage makes one lazy. It says I've got you, in a legal cage. It's a mental fuck....eh...I'm a jaded girl on the issue. I'd rather have a best friend, bonded by what is only the true bond, ones word. No one is better than their word and their word is as good as their bond. Fuck legalities. Fuck all of that. If I am committed to you, you will know it, 100 percent. True connection is not written on paper. What is written on paper is a dying mans will....an indian treaty.....

some will argue, some will differ, and I know for some it isn't true...in this present state, I see things as such and I never do suspect my word will not be as good as my bond.

fuck paper trivilialities...someone would have to make me see a good argument of their pov to see otherwise.

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do you find your sense of commitment any less than you would or have in a marriage

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does being socially sanctioned make marriage more real?

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ORIGINAL: osf

but in the case of a d/s relationship the phrase i like is," both serve the relationship"

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ORIGINAL: Dominasola

I would argue that in some cases, a consensual D/s relationship is more "real" than a marriage simply because all parties involved are there for the simple reason that they want to be there.  Even though it is becoming much easier to have a divorce, it seems as though there are still many married couples who are unhappy, yet stay in their unfulfilled relationship because of the legal elements involved in the marriage contract.

While there may be legal repercussions for certain things a married individual may do, those in D/s relationships are free to enslave and be enslaved...or some such paradox.

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ORIGINAL: LafayetteLady

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ORIGINAL: Dominasola

I would argue that in some cases, a consensual D/s relationship is more "real" than a marriage simply because all parties involved are there for the simple reason that they want to be there.  Even though it is becoming much easier to have a divorce, it seems as though there are still many married couples who are unhappy, yet stay in their unfulfilled relationship because of the legal elements involved in the marriage contract.

While there may be legal repercussions for certain things a married individual may do, those in D/s relationships are free to enslave and be enslaved...or some such paradox.

Your theory completely ignores those relationships where the s-type is unfufilled yet feels they can't leave without proper "release" or that since they made the commitment, they are stuck for life. The difference there is there is NO legal protection for their stupidity in believing that to be so.

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so the question is do you find your sense of commitment any less than you would or have in a marriage

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does being socially sanctioned make marriage more real?

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ORIGINAL: osf

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ORIGINAL: LafayetteLady

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ORIGINAL: Dominasola

I would argue that in some cases, a consensual D/s relationship is more "real" than a marriage simply because all parties involved are there for the simple reason that they want to be there.  Even though it is becoming much easier to have a divorce, it seems as though there are still many married couples who are unhappy, yet stay in their unfulfilled relationship because of the legal elements involved in the marriage contract.

While there may be legal repercussions for certain things a married individual may do, those in D/s relationships are free to enslave and be enslaved...or some such paradox.

Your theory completely ignores those relationships where the s-type is unfufilled yet feels they can't leave without proper "release" or that since they made the commitment, they are stuck for life. The difference there is there is NO legal protection for their stupidity in believing that to be so.

if they believe it so, then for them it is so and to call it stupid may be doing them a diservice

after all marriage at one time was thought to be like that