LafayetteLady
Posts: 7683
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Northern New Jersey
Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: ricken
To answer a few questions, we don't live together, I usually spend weekends with her, a somtimes a day during the week.
YES I know I need to talk to her. I don't do things behind her back, we started our relationship with open discussion, and will always communicate. In our relationship I am the thinker and start most of our conversations, in the begining we had some issues because she held back things she needed to say. In communication I have become the leader in this relationship.
I don't think anyone implied you did things behind her back. Communication is key to any kind of relationship, as you know. With a lifestyle one, it isn't any different, even though the actual subject matter might be a little different. One thing that would be good to work on is getting her to start the conversations instead of always leaving it to you. It can be frustrating when one person always has to start the "talks." Chances are that will come with time.
Since you don't live together, it does kind of make more sense to me why you are feeling such a "withdrawal." You guys don't have the "day to day" stuff that you would if you lived together. If you were a vanilla couple who just took their relationship to the sexual level, you would want to be having sex each time. During the week, she is working late hours, so if you want to maintain the power dynamic, you might want to do it in ways that don't involve the full on play. You say you spend weekends together, so I am assuming, like Friday to Sunday. I would say take Friday just like the weeknights. This will give a bit of time to unwind from the stresses of the week.
quote:
ORIGINAL: ricken
She calls me a sick freak, out of love, because she knows only a sick freak would be able to deal with a slut like her. She has told me a story of a scaring away a guy, when he found some rope on the bedroom floor teid to the bed.
Ok, I was hoping that she used the "sick freak" thing as a term of endearment. That's a good thing, lol.
quote:
ORIGINAL: ricken
SO my conclussion to my own question? So far...the rush from the more extream play creats a euphoric (sp?) feeling, releasing the feel good juices in the brain. I looked a little more online and I think subs feel a drop after playtime, why wouldn't someome that is Dom not feel the same type of drop? Since they would also get a rush from the act?
Of course you will get the same kind of rush and drop. Since this is all new to you, it is like a drug and you want more, more, more. Completely normal. Just remember, your relationship consists of more than just the play that gives you that rush. As time goes on, it isn't that the rush will fade, but as you realize that the rush will come again (and again, lol), it won't feel quite as all consuming as it does being so new. You will still look forward to it, but it won't be such a "OMG,Imusthaveitrightnow,amIevergoingtohaveitagain,gimme,gimme,gimme" kind of thing.
All in all, if you and her sit down and each talk about what you want from this and how much you want it to be part of your lives, you will be in a better position to figure out when it will be good to have the play that gives you the rush (and her a rush as well). I know it might sound terrible to think about "scheduling" your relationship, but in today's busy lives, it is almost a necessity to make sure we make time for everything that needs to get done, and it ensures that we don't take our partners for granted at the same time.
Good luck!
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RE: Withdrawls from not being Dom - 
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