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Humilation - verbal and physical - 3/30/2006 11:26:39 AM

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I am meeting a Dom on Saturday and hopefully I shall be experiencing my 1st scene. He has stated to me that humiliation physical and verbal is something he enjoys very much. Could you give me some insight into this. I have asked him 10000's of questions already and I don't want to drive him nuts any more.

Any more tips and useful information to make the evening extra special would also be appreciated.

Thank guys x

RE: Humilation - verbal and physical - 3/30/2006 11:32:52 AM

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If you've got more questions, it's probably because your either very excited about the prospect or your worried about it. If it's the first case, just relax and let it happen. If its the latter case, you need to be talking to him, not us. Helpful, huh?

It's actually helpful if you ask specific questions. It's unclear if you're asking for a definition or about things that he might do or about safety issues or something else.

Fire

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(in reply to PetiteBlonde)

RE: Humilation - verbal and physical - 3/30/2006 11:35:56 AM

LorgromAndMiskel

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Since he plans on doing a lot of humilation, you should plan on feeling some very intense feelings. Expecialy if you have not been humilated much in the past (both on accident and on purpose). Humiliation can be both very arousing and damaging. It all depends on the person being humilated and how far the humilator takes it. Best of wished, and don't feel ashamed to call a halt to it if it really starts getting to you the wrong way.

(in reply to PetiteBlonde)

RE: Humilation - verbal and physical - 3/30/2006 11:44:11 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: PetiteBlonde

I am meeting a Dom on Saturday and hopefully I shall be experiencing my 1st scene. He has stated to me that humiliation physical and verbal...

I won't judge you, but I wanted to draw attention to the fact that you said you were just meeting him Saturday, and also will be in your first scene. This is a bit of a red flag at least for me. Are you certain you want your first meeting and first scene to be on the same day? The other red flag is that you're adding a third first into the mix - your first time being humiliated (severely, according to what you said). Humiliation can be a great asset in the right situation with the right people. This all sounds rather fast, and I just hope that you're ready to take all three jumps at the same time. It's certainly not my style whatsoever, but like I said, everybody has their own needs. I hope this will meet yours. Please be careful of yourself, emotionally especially.

Lastly, if you're avoiding asking questions because you don't want to annoy him, something is probably wrong. If you can't ask questions (either because he gets annoyed or you don't feel comfortable), get out of there fast. :(

(in reply to PetiteBlonde)

RE: Humilation - verbal and physical - 3/30/2006 11:46:26 AM

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http://www.collarchat.com/m_266448/mpage_1/key_humiliation/tm.htm#266532
Link to 18 Discussions on Humiliation

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(in reply to PetiteBlonde)

RE: Humilation - verbal and physical - 3/30/2006 12:07:15 PM

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petite,

One of the first things you need to ask yourself is this: Am I into humiliation, verbal and physical? If you're not and he is the night may be more memorable than you might be planning. And not in a good way. Don't be afraid to take a step back and see if this is really what you want.

Sir Pain

(in reply to PetiteBlonde)

RE: Humilation - verbal and physical - 3/30/2006 12:55:05 PM

openmindedslave

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Your expectations or your answers to saturday will not all answered here. Some Masters are set in their play styles where others enlist your envolment. In most cases a first encounter is like having sex with a new partner...there will be laughts... some adjustments... some acceptance... and hopefully ,if you connect with him, you will learn more about each other through futher encounters.. Just don't stress over it ...but do tell him clearly up front what you will not accept...and make sure someone knows where you are and when you should be back...Once your tied up and gaged ...its alittle hard to make a call

(in reply to SirPain)

RE: Humilation - verbal and physical - 3/30/2006 1:30:47 PM

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quote:

I am meeting a Dom on Saturday and hopefully I shall be experiencing my 1st scene.

It always worries me when someone plans to play on the first meeting, especially someone new to the lifstyle. You may want to review this thread:
http://www.collarchat.com/m_40134/mpage_1/key_first%252Cmeeting/tm.htm#40134

I hope it goes well for you and you stay safe.

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(in reply to PetiteBlonde)

RE: Humilation - verbal and physical - 3/30/2006 1:39:46 PM

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I'm sorry I think I may have screwed up with my question. I have already met him for a coffee and have spoken to him many many times. I have also taken many precautions for safety. i would like to thank you all for your advice and support x

(in reply to proudsub)

RE: Humilation - verbal and physical - 3/30/2006 1:54:25 PM

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quote:

I'm sorry I think I may have screwed up with my question. I have already met him for a coffee and have spoken to him many many times. I have also taken many precautions for safety. i would like to thank you all for your advice and support x

Sorry i misunderstood, i do feel better about it now. Have fun!!

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proudsub

"Without goals you become what you were. With goals you become what you wish." .

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(in reply to PetiteBlonde)

RE: Humilation - verbal and physical - 3/30/2006 2:11:41 PM

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There are so many different forms of humilation, both verbal and physical. Severe is defined by the definer. What is mild to some is severe to another, and so on. Talk to him about this. Humiliation can be cathartic for some, and very damaging to others.

(in reply to PetiteBlonde)

RE: Humilation - verbal and physical - 3/30/2006 7:45:05 PM

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I feel a little better now, knowing you've hung out with him once. But still, if you're afraid to be open with him because you don't want to annoy him, your future together might be dismal. If you're only meeting for a single session, and only to get yelled at and told you're nasty and gross and stupid, it'll probably work out just fine. Good luck, let us know how it works out.

Personally I think humiliation works best when you know someone very intimately. Then you know how they feel and think, and your words will have meaning to them. You can hollar and say generic insults at someone you don't know very well, but it might just come off insincere and ineffectual.

(in reply to ownedgirlie)

RE: Humilation - verbal and physical - 3/30/2006 8:19:58 PM

perverseangelic

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Can someone tell me what physical humiliation would entail? I get verbal, but I guess I'm not sure about hte other.

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RE: Humilation - verbal and physical - 3/30/2006 9:23:32 PM

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quote:

Can someone tell me what physical humiliation would entail? I get verbal, but I guess I'm not sure about hte other.

I would think it would be things like golden showers, objectification, being made to crawl, eat from a dog dish, etc. It also might be doing things in public that embarass you. It's probably different for different people. JMHO

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proudsub

"Without goals you become what you were. With goals you become what you wish." .

"You are entitled to your own opinions but not your own facts"--Alan Greenspan

(in reply to perverseangelic)

RE: Humilation - verbal and physical - 3/30/2006 9:27:18 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: perverseangelic

Can someone tell me what physical humiliation would entail? I get verbal, but I guess I'm not sure about hte other.

Some would consider golden showers or scat to be physical forms of humiliation. There are also things like public display and/or use, or being made to do things you might find embarrassing. Enemas might fall into that. Toilet use (in front of Master or serving as one for Master), grunting like a pig, moo'ing like a cow, being used as a game (i recently saw a "ring toss" butt plug), serving as furniture (i personally find that to be functional, rather than humiliating, but some may feel differently), K9......the list continues.

(in reply to perverseangelic)

RE: Humilation - verbal and physical - 3/31/2006 4:18:06 AM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: SirPain

petite,

One of the first things you need to ask yourself is this: Am I into humiliation, verbal and physical? If you're not and he is the night may be more memorable than you might be planning. And not in a good way. Don't be afraid to take a step back and see if this is really what you want.

Sir Pain

Very well stated Sir Pain---humiliation IMHO is almost an edge play---in that many think " sure He calls Me a whore it will be hot"---but it can run to some very intense paths--leaving an unexpected or unprepared submissive shattered---scenes are very intense, and first ones set high expectations---the fact that you are still asking questions with concern--is a red flag-- I would have expected you to have SOME frame of reference by now--If you are still asking, something isn't right.

< Message edited by MHOO314 -- 3/31/2006 4:19:33 AM >

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RE: Humilation - verbal and physical - 3/31/2006 4:39:16 AM

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Humiliation whether it is verbal or physical can be wonderful for a submissive/slave to experience when it is done in the right situation. In my view there is a very fine line with Humiliation. An ex Dom of mine tried to humiliate me once verbally and really upset me. It should never make a submissive feel worthless or damage their confidence and self esteem. It wasnt done in the right situation and it damaged our relationship greatly. I think once the Dominant really knows His submissive it can be done carefully and effectively. I do know some however that enjoy any kind of humiliation and dont take it to heart as much as someone that is quite emotional can do. So I think Communication is the key as with most aspects of D/s or any relationship.

(in reply to PetiteBlonde)

RE: Humilation - verbal and physical - 3/31/2006 5:13:25 AM

openmindedslave

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I believe that the humilation aspect really needs to have some limitations.The first is nothing that will permantly harm you .You may end up leaving with sore wrist or a taste in your mouth you might not enjoy,but at least your not permantly harmed in any way. The other involves privacy. If your not prepared to be seen as a slave in public ( ex spoken to in a demeaning way infront of family ,friends and strangers , to act out for others to see you , or some other actions that may embarrass you) let him know it.
The other is when its all said and done, do you have the ability to speak your mine abotu what you liked and didn't..do you have a voice in this relationship...Good luck

(in reply to collaredheart)

RE: Humilation - verbal and physical - 3/31/2006 5:23:30 AM

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From: Indy
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quote:

ORIGINAL: PetiteBlonde

I'm sorry I think I may have screwed up with my question. I have already met him for a coffee and have spoken to him many many times. I have also taken many precautions for safety. i would like to thank you all for your advice and support x

In that case sounds as though you may be in for some fun.. Enjoy

(in reply to PetiteBlonde)

RE: Humilation - verbal and physical - 4/5/2006 10:40:24 AM

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I just want to let you all know that I had a wonderful time on Saturday and thank you all for your advice.

Once again thank you

Petite Blonde

(in reply to proudsub)

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