Website matches pets with atheists for the Rapture (Full Version)

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PenOnBeadedChain -> Website matches pets with atheists for the Rapture (3/7/2010 10:51:55 AM)

This is hilarious - and also a very frightening reminder of how many (driving and voting) Americans believe that the Revelations story is literally true. A guy has started a website matching up evangelicals with atheists who will care for their pets which are left behind when the former are sucked up into the Mother Ship due to their peity (pets can't accept Christ, ergo they don't get to make the trip when Hale-Bopp, er, Armageddon comes around). Just $100 for a ten-year contract! The potential market for this is huge, what with a third of all Americans believing in the End Times sci-fi story.

Got to hand it to this enterprising fellow. After all, why should the Republicans be the only operation exploiting these poor, mentally feeble people?

http://newsweek.washingtonpost.com/onfaith/spirited_atheist/2010/03/untitled_for_now.html

quote:

"If we thought the Rapture was really going to happen," Centre told Business Week, "obviously our rate structure would be much higher." Centre donates some of his "profits" to food banks.



TheHeretic -> RE: Website matches pets with atheists for the Rapture (3/7/2010 11:04:09 AM)

But could an evil athiest be trusted not to just sacrifice Fluffykins to the devil or something? 



popeye1250 -> RE: Website matches pets with atheists for the Rapture (3/7/2010 11:08:37 AM)

"Pets?" I want the keys to their Cadillacs.

"Beam him up Scotty!"



PenOnBeadedChain -> RE: Website matches pets with atheists for the Rapture (3/7/2010 11:09:50 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: TheHeretic

But could an evil athiest be trusted not to just sacrifice Fluffykins to the devil or something?


It's a real concern, and one brought up by the head of the Rapture Ready website, who was contacted by the author of that piece. Plus could an atheist really be counted on to continue the little pooch or kitty's important religious education? Non-human animals may "not have souls", but clearly they can be taught to fear (rolled up newspaper and all that) - so it seems like religious indocrination should be as feasible as with humans.



PenOnBeadedChain -> RE: Website matches pets with atheists for the Rapture (3/7/2010 11:11:51 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: popeye1250

"Pets?" I want the keys to their Cadillacs.

"Beam him up Scotty!"


There you go! I just checked, and rapturevalet.com is not taken yet. I'd go for it before anyone else grabs it.



MichiganHeadmast -> RE: Website matches pets with atheists for the Rapture (3/7/2010 12:43:18 PM)

You can't lose. If everyone else gets raptured, you can't get sued. If you get raptured along with everyone else, you still can't get sued! (Where are ya gonna find a lawyer in heaven?)



Level -> RE: Website matches pets with atheists for the Rapture (3/7/2010 12:45:49 PM)

What about human pets? Pony girl patty? Disbelieving slut..... and she isn't a very good slave. Pees on the carpet, refuses to cut her pinky toe off, to prove her slave-heart.



LadyEllen -> RE: Website matches pets with atheists for the Rapture (3/7/2010 12:49:09 PM)

I'd like to volunteer my legal knowledge to handle the estates of those lucky enough to be expecting the rapture as an imminent prospect - after all, God may not give advance warning any more than that already provided, so its important to plan ahead and sign me over as trustee with full power of attorney now.

And its a bargain price - for just 1% (thats a full 9% less than your Church tithes people!) of the value of your estate per annum I will take on this onerous burden (and take in your pets too when the happy day arrives) and see to it that your estate gets put to the best possible use - 'cause you cant take it with you remember, and its easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle and all that.

E



LadyAngelika -> RE: Website matches pets with atheists for the Rapture (3/7/2010 5:21:52 PM)

Two words. Batshit crazy.

- LA



Kirata -> RE: Website matches pets with atheists for the Rapture (3/7/2010 6:08:52 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyAngelika

Two words. Batshit crazy.

Nevertheless, I wish I'd thought of it. [:D]

K.



PenOnBeadedChain -> RE: Website matches pets with atheists for the Rapture (3/7/2010 6:49:17 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyAngelika

Two words. Batshit crazy.

- LA


Now that's no way to talk about the base of the American Republican party. Perhaps nicer to call them "differently aware in a flying-echolocating-mammal's stool sort of way".



Smutmonger -> RE: Website matches pets with atheists for the Rapture (3/7/2010 6:51:26 PM)

Yummm..doggy stew!



Fellow -> RE: Website matches pets with atheists for the Rapture (3/8/2010 12:31:04 AM)

The logic: Rapture can not take place because we do not have information anything like this ever occurring. The former statement is logically incorrect (typical atheist view) but this is what most believe. It is certainly rational way of thinking. I think WW3 is very likely event and perhaps God would prefer it to a Rapture as the last too simple and boring solution.



myotherself -> RE: Website matches pets with atheists for the Rapture (3/8/2010 12:35:41 AM)

~fr~

what about ME??????

I'm gonna get stuck with some crazy god-bothering virgin when all da fun guys get exterminated.

Feckin' unfair ...[:'(]



CynthiaWVirginia -> RE: Website matches pets with atheists for the Rapture (3/8/2010 1:01:02 AM)

I don't know about y'all, but my animals are coming with me.  [;)]




LadyAngelika -> RE: Website matches pets with atheists for the Rapture (3/8/2010 4:09:05 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: PenOnBeadedChain


quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyAngelika

Two words. Batshit crazy.

- LA


Now that's no way to talk about the base of the American Republican party. Perhaps nicer to call them "differently aware in a flying-echolocating-mammal's stool sort of way".


Cute. But I'm Canadian. I can call them whatever I want ;-)

- LA



LadyAngelika -> RE: Website matches pets with atheists for the Rapture (3/8/2010 4:11:28 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: Smutmonger

Yummm..doggy stew!


No not dogs. Disney made sure they were the one exception.

[image]http://images.doba.com/products/1568/MGM_DM113610D.jpg[/image]

- LA



eyesopened -> RE: Website matches pets with atheists for the Rapture (3/8/2010 4:34:23 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: TheHeretic

But could an evil athiest be trusted not to just sacrifice Fluffykins to the devil or something? 


Oh there will be plenty of "wrong" Christians to take care of Fluffy... Remember, Catholics, Lutherans, Episcopailians and all the other "wrong" Christians will be available.  As well as Jews, Buddhists, Hindus, Taoists, Muslims and another other believers who don't believe the 'right' way.  And of course there's all the children.  Yanno, if you aren't baptised you can't go either so even if you are a child of a 'right' believer then you get left behind because you haven't yet been baptised.    Since these wingnuts don't do infant baptism, they should be more concerned about who is going to take care of their kids...

LadyAngelika is correct... batshit crazy.



NeedToUseYou -> RE: Website matches pets with atheists for the Rapture (3/8/2010 4:50:02 AM)

The rapture, already happened, two people went missing in Idaho, all the rest of us, are stuck here. No pet watching problems forthcoming.



Louve00 -> RE: Website matches pets with atheists for the Rapture (3/8/2010 4:59:18 AM)

Rapture?  I thought we had Niviru to deal with.  [;)]



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