RE: Positive reinforcement and reward (Full Version)

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Nslavu -> RE: Positive reinforcement and reward (3/8/2010 10:06:02 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: DarlingSavage


quote:

ORIGINAL: UniqueRaven

"Good girl."

Especially kneeling with my head in his lap as he pets my hair.

And all's right with the world. [:)]


I like this answer followed by a "Now, let's go shopping!" lol

It could happen!


Does online shopping count? All that walking and exercise shit is highly over rated and really does a dis-service to the discrete brown paper packages industry.



MsHValentine -> RE: Positive reinforcement and reward (3/8/2010 10:13:21 AM)

I like to reward with scenes involving electro play and what not.



SimplyMichael -> RE: Positive reinforcement and reward (3/8/2010 10:15:08 AM)

I slip morphine into the coolaide.

When someone does something that really makes me smile, I do my best to reward that behavior with something that is appropriate to the moment. Sitting my girl down in front of me and brushing her hair is one of those things that so many just don't get how powerful it can be. For some I might tell someone in front of her how proud she makes me, another I might simply grab her hair and shove her down to kiss my boots, at least when I get boots again since I heard a rumor some of them are getting together to buy me a pair!

It would be nice if we were all self actualized but few of us are and so rewarding positive behavior, especially if the rewards are not constant is a very strong inducement to good behavior. I also do things to increase their self esteem, using those moments when they have done something that was hard for them, things like being open, saying difficult truths, etc to remind them of how far they have come and how proud I am of them for doing so.

I just helped a woman quit smoking....not an easy addiction to quit. At first she got lots of "good girls" but then I slowly tapered off but enough that she knows I am proud rather than simply losing interest in her changing. There is no way to punish someone into quiting...they have to want to and providing the right carrots is sometimes the straw that lets them break that cycle.



LadyPact -> RE: Positive reinforcement and reward (3/8/2010 10:39:43 AM)

In clip's case, verbal reinforcement does wonders.  Since he loves to please, just telling him that I am happy with whatever it was that deserves the praise works very well with him.  Also, if I'm rewarding him with a certain type of play, I'll make sure that he knows it.  Wax is one of his favorites for this, because it's very soothing to him.  Cupping is another one that he enjoys for the relaxation effect.



PeonForHer -> RE: Positive reinforcement and reward (3/8/2010 10:48:55 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: DarkSteven

"Good girl". 

Sometimes a dinner out.  Frequently a short talk explaining what she did and why/how I liked it.


"Good boy" also has a very nice ring, DS.  Though perhaps not from yourself - because I tend to prefer my Dommes not to have distinguished silvery-grey whiskers.  No offence. [;)]



HisSub1213 -> RE: Positive reinforcement and reward (3/8/2010 10:59:56 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: UniqueRaven

"Good girl."

Especially kneeling with my head in his lap as he pets my hair.

And all's right with the world. [:)]



I can't add anything to this. I feel the same way. [:)]



NihilusZero -> RE: Positive reinforcement and reward (3/8/2010 11:13:42 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Dominasola

What he's trying to say is that the s-type's desire to please should be in itself reward enough for behaving according to his or her d-type's wishes since he or she should be a completely independent person. Rewarding makes the s-type rely too strongly on his or her d-type for support, which seems to be a no-no these days in the land of authority transfer. [;)]

That being said....

Well, kinda sorta. Thinking about how you phrased this, I think it may be reflective of a personal concern of mine that the obedience should be genuine and not done for the purpose of a reward/prestige/role-playing, but I think we know that I have no dislike for rewarding at all.

So I was fibbing a bit in my first sentence of the last post. [;)]



MasterSlaveLA -> RE: Positive reinforcement and reward (3/8/2010 1:49:06 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Tayr

...seem to work as really good positive reinforcement




[image]local://upfiles/687741/774768D0E1B64413969F9548071A4945.jpg[/image]



shyandnervoussub -> RE: Positive reinforcement and reward (3/8/2010 3:15:45 PM)

I love to hear "good girl." And I love to hear that he's proud of me. :]
I also like cuddling, although my master isn't really into it. I also love being pet, which he does on occasion, although I don't think it's as a reward to me.

Mostly, though, I just like to see that Master is happy and having a good time. ^_^



DarlingSavage -> RE: Positive reinforcement and reward (3/8/2010 3:29:00 PM)

quote:

Does online shopping count? All that walking and exercise shit is highly over rated and really does a dis-service to the discrete brown paper packages industry.


Whatever your little heart desires. I'll be more than happy to accept an online shopping date in lieu of the walking about kind. Though I don't mind the walking about kind.

First stop, Save the Queen!

Then Betsey Johnson

Fendi

bebe



FukinTroll -> RE: Positive reinforcement and reward (3/8/2010 3:31:31 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Tayr

So, I'm curious... what kinds of things do you D-types do that seem to work as really good positive reinforcement for the behavior that you want from your sub? What kinds of things do you do in order to reward your sub?

And a question for you s-types... what things work for re-enforcing expected and desired behavior out of you? What kinds of rewards really make you feel special and rewarded?

Obviously, the answers to these questions are largely dependent upon what is trying to be accomplished. But does anybody have any really original, interesting, or highly effective ideas they'd like to share?



I prefer subs born in the year of the dog. They are so easy to please. I just buy a tennis ball and when they do good I break out the ball and say "You want the ball? You want the ball?" then throw it. They come back with the ball just waggen their asses.



DarlingSavage -> RE: Positive reinforcement and reward (3/8/2010 3:33:03 PM)

quote:

I prefer subs born in the year of the dog.


Year of the Rabbit aka Cat.



littlewonder -> RE: Positive reinforcement and reward (3/8/2010 3:40:15 PM)

Being allowed to orgasm is a great reward.....

so is "good girl", a smile on his face, and a thank you.



FukinTroll -> RE: Positive reinforcement and reward (3/8/2010 3:42:23 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: DarlingSavage

quote:

I prefer subs born in the year of the dog.


Year of the Rabbit aka Cat.


Hmmmm.... I have a carrot for you!

SLURP!



KnightofMists -> RE: Positive reinforcement and reward (3/8/2010 4:13:41 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: Tayr

So, I'm curious... what kinds of things do you D-types do that seem to work as really good positive reinforcement for the behavior that you want from your sub? What kinds of things do you do in order to reward your sub?




NONE!!! It's been my experience that rewarding appropriate behavior to be counter-productive to generating internalization of the behaviors that I desire from my slaves. I don't want them to behave appropriate to be rewarded ( that so ends up being the tail wagging the dog)... I want them to behave appropriate because it internally gratifies them to do them.



DesFIP -> RE: Positive reinforcement and reward (3/8/2010 4:33:12 PM)

"Thanks honey, I really appreciate it".
"Dinner was great, as usual".
A pat on the ass, a quick kiss. Normal stuff.

And I disagree that people shouldn't need positive reinforcement. I know very few people who would be content in a job where they worked their tail off and didn't receive acknowledgement of it.



Nslavu -> RE: Positive reinforcement and reward (3/8/2010 4:33:15 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: DarlingSavage

quote:

Does online shopping count? All that walking and exercise shit is highly over rated and really does a dis-service to the discrete brown paper packages industry.


Whatever your little heart desires. I'll be more than happy to accept an online shopping date in lieu of the walking about kind. Though I don't mind the walking about kind.

First stop, Save the Queen!

Then Betsey Johnson

Fendi

bebe


I was thinking more

madame-s

but .... it's a hole lot of reward.



zephyroftheNorth -> RE: Positive reinforcement and reward (3/8/2010 4:46:42 PM)

quote:

"Good girl".


This.....those words are more powerful than any reward out there....'cept maybe chocolate



KnightofMists -> RE: Positive reinforcement and reward (3/8/2010 4:47:07 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP
...and didn't receive acknowledgement of it.



The difference between "Rewarding" for specific behaviors and "Acknowledgement" of specific behaviors is subtle but significant in my world.

I have acknowledged many behaviors and will continue to do so.. but I am careful not to acknowledge said behaviors in a manner that develops an expectation for said acknowledgement for any specific behavior(which is in essense is the girls seeking a reward). Such expectation is counter to the internalization I seek to create in my girls behavior.






camille65 -> RE: Positive reinforcement and reward (3/8/2010 4:58:17 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Tayr


And a question for you s-types... what things work for re-enforcing expected and desired behavior out of you? What kinds of rewards really make you feel special and rewarded?



 I'm very responsive to positive reinforcement, negative reinforcement just makes me shut down and withdraw. Thankfully it was something that he picked up on almost immediately and actual punishment has never become a part of our dynamic. If I screw up it is discussed then worked out, usually never repeated. Positive reinforcement (PR cuz I'm lazy) gets me going, it makes me want to do more for him and for me just to hear those simple words "Good girl" "I'm proud" "I recognize that was hard for you" etc. I'd walk through fire for any combination of praise! It also has a stabilizing effect on me, verbal praise for even basic daily activities makes me strive to do them the best I possibly can. We are often LDR and he focuses on important (to me) details throughout my day, if I get them done in a timely manner or a creative manner I get praised. If I don't do them or do a half-assed job he with holds the praise, I have to explain the whys of my decision which is usually pretty hard for me to do. His words are all the reward I need but I get a whole lot more when he is here.



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