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Trying to find a mentor for my bf - 3/30/2006 8:20:40 PM   
cutelinygurl84


Posts: 84
Joined: 3/29/2006
Status: offline 		I need help with my 19 yr old bf.  I am trying to get him to be my dom but he is scared and I feel at times he holdes back.  Why is that?  I feel my bf needs a mentor to become a good dom and give me what I need.  I was just wondering if there is anyone who would be willing to mentor my bf?  He needs alot of training and guidence  before me and him get more seriouse about this lifestyle.  I tried to look for mentors allready for my bf but so far no one has worked out. 

Cutelinygurl84
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Trying to find a mentor for my bf - 3/30/2006 8:25:37 PM   
CanadianGuy


Posts: 219
Status: offline 		I gave some advice in your other thread.  I was also going to send you a message but it says your profile doesn't exist.  One thing I was going to say is that you don't give much information.  You'll likely get a lot of varied people replying to this.

(in reply to cutelinygurl84)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: Trying to find a mentor for my bf - 3/30/2006 10:11:57 PM   
cutelinygurl84


Posts: 84
Joined: 3/29/2006
Status: offline 		What else would you like to know ask me and I will tell you. 

Cutelinygurl84

(in reply to CanadianGuy)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: Trying to find a mentor for my bf - 3/30/2006 10:19:38 PM   
romancenkink


Posts: 7
Joined: 11/25/2005
Status: offline 		hey cutie
please contact me, let me see how i can help you.

(in reply to cutelinygurl84)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: Trying to find a mentor for my bf - 3/30/2006 11:05:22 PM   
texguy98


Posts: 71
Joined: 3/13/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: cutelinygurl84

I need help with my 19 yr old bf.  I am trying to get him to be my dom but he is scared and I feel at times he holdes back.  Why is that?  I feel my bf needs a mentor to become a good dom and give me what I need.  I was just wondering if there is anyone who would be willing to mentor my bf?  He needs alot of training and guidence  before me and him get more seriouse about this lifestyle.  I tried to look for mentors allready for my bf but so far no one has worked out. 

Cutelinygurl84


Cutelinygurl84,

Most of what we learn is through doing and from others. That being said, finding a "mentor" might be the wrong approach in your case. Again, we have very little information to go on. What I would recommend is getting involved in your local community if you have not already done so. Most local BDSM communities offer great classes, rap sessions, awareness meetings, etc for you and your b/f to learn from. In Houston (and in San Diego), we had everything from whips in the park which was a class to learn how to use whips to discussion about the emotional and mental pitfalls of BDSM.

Just my 2 cents ;)

David aka "Tex"

(in reply to cutelinygurl84)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: Trying to find a mentor for my bf - 3/31/2006 2:18:10 AM   
Evanesce


Posts: 2325
Joined: 9/14/2005
Status: offline 		From what you've been telling us here and on the other thread, I'm not convinced your bf wants a mentor.  You've repeated bemoaned his reluctance to dominate you, and no mentor is going to be able to make him want to do this because, for a mentoring situation to be successful, desire is a must. 
 
I'd say give the guy a few books to read on the subject of dominance (how-to's, not porn), and quit pressuring him.  If the books don't pique his interest, then you're barking up the wrong tree with him and you'll have to either accept him for who he is and live with it, or go find someone who actually wants to dominate you the way you want.

_____________________________

Denise

Give a slave what he truly needs, and he will do what you want.

"There's never a hero in a battle of ego." - Big & Rich


(in reply to cutelinygurl84)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: Trying to find a mentor for my bf - 3/31/2006 2:47:25 AM   
LordKhensu


Posts: 44
Joined: 3/4/2006
Status: offline
quote:

If the books don't pique his interest, then you're barking up the wrong tree with him and you'll have to either accept him for who he is and live with it, or go find someone who actually wants to dominate you the way you want.
 Evanesce


Sadly this is too true. Though you may wish this of him, he may just not have it in him. Dominance can not be learned. Skills can, Attitude can not.  A person either knows deep inside that this is who they are or they shy away. His reluctance says a lot and though you wish for him to accept this role it may not live up to your potential.

 I wish you luck on your journey no matter which way this turns out!

< Message edited by LordKhensu -- 3/31/2006 2:51:49 AM >

_____________________________

Watch that first step! It's a big one!

It is just when you feel you know it all that you discover how little you really do!

(in reply to Evanesce)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: Trying to find a mentor for my bf - 3/31/2006 4:40:39 AM   
slaveladyj


Posts: 161
Joined: 2/7/2006
Status: offline 		Having a mentor is working for me and my man, but my man is finally interested in dominating me. Yeah!

(in reply to cutelinygurl84)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Trying to find a mentor for my bf - 3/31/2006 8:08:27 AM   
Evanesce


Posts: 2325
Joined: 9/14/2005
Status: offline
quote:

You've repeated bemoaned


For whatever reason, I don't have an "edit" button on my post, but that should have read "repeatedly bemoaned."

_____________________________

Denise

Give a slave what he truly needs, and he will do what you want.

"There's never a hero in a battle of ego." - Big & Rich


(in reply to Evanesce)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Trying to find a mentor for my bf - 3/31/2006 1:22:28 PM   
cutelinygurl84


Posts: 84
Joined: 3/29/2006
Status: offline 		My bf says he wants to do this.  he says he wants to do this for me b/c he knows its something I need.  He is 19 so maybe his age has something to do with the fact that he is scared.  I dont feel I am pressuring him b/c he told me he wants to do it too.  Me and him talk about this topic alot and I get the impression he is very comfy with everything.  For the last time my bf is scared but he has it in him.  He needs to experience and learn more about this before we take it any further. 

Cutelinygurl84

(in reply to Evanesce)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Trying to find a mentor for my bf - 3/31/2006 1:24:30 PM   
cutelinygurl84


Posts: 84
Joined: 3/29/2006
Status: offline 		How did you finally get your bf to become interested in all this? Was it something you said or did?  Or did it just take time till he was ready for all this?

Cutelinygurl84

(in reply to slaveladyj)
Profile   Post #: 11
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