Social isolation period

Collarspace Discussion Forums

Home Login Search

Social isolation period

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Health and Safety >> Social isolation period

Page: [1]

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

Social isolation period - 3/10/2010 10:10:53 PM

Termyn8or

Posts: 18681
Joined: 11/12/2005
Status: offline

Up until about a year ago I lived alone. It was nice, I could do what I want (including some quite dangerous selfbondage) at any time day or night almost. I could crank up the tunes at 4AM, burn one whenever I pleased, basically whatever I want. I was never lonely.

The phone rang enough, people stopped over and it was like a balance between my public time and my private time. Sure I hit the net, here included, but there was never a problem. Given this I would like to open up a discussion which pretty much boils down to the difference between being alone and being lonely, or feeling isolated.

Now my personal opinion has been shaped, and I believe a few certain things. First of all noone, even your Parents owe you any entertainment. I've read where the author describes that in childhood if they went up to their Parents and said "I am bored" they would get smacked upside the head. In other words, if you need to be amused, do it, don't bother me with it. These were obviously not stupid people being authors and such.

But what is the real difference ? The lack of company happens all the time. It may be Wednesday night and everyone has to go to work the next day, but if noone comes to see you on Friday it is a problem. Why ? I am not talking about scheduling difficulties here, I mean the spirit of the,,,,,,,,,,,, damifino.

There are times you are alone, not on the phone or the net, not expecting anyone at all and you just do your thing and everything is cool. Then there are other times it bothers you, that you fell dejected, rejected, inspected and forgected (poetic license invoked, @03/11/10 00:43 hours).

Of course I have my opinion on this, go figure, but I thought it might make a good topic for discussion. And up for contention is also that I might be full of shit. If I am alone I have computers and musical instruments. I can do something, is that a substitute ? Surely I am not superior because I gave some guy fifty bucks for a guitar. But that isn't all of it. Even without the computer I can do something. Long ago I would design electronic circuitry, just because I wanted to. Yesterday I started writing a song, with a pen and paper.

What is the difference, what causes this interdependence ? I am seeking to understand here. Of course the net is part of my life now, so it happened, but really I wasn't on it so much years ago. They dragged me kicking and screaming into this. I have dragged my feet all the way, Windows 3.11 FWG failed me in 1998, at which time I got Windows 95. And XP was out for at least two years befor I got 98. All I wanted was what I wanted.

Now I don't even answer my own phone, I got someone else to do it. I do not lack people or attention. But there was a time in my life when I would not see or talk to another human being for like two days, and it didn't bother me a bit.

Can anyone wrap their mind around this ? I mean I was not antisocial nor asocial, I just didn't care that I was alone and I found something to do. I am not referring to present company, but it seems like that is very difficult for some people.

Would someone like to expound on this ? Because, looking at this section of the forum right there is Social isolation ........ whatever about cancer. I think it is true of many different diseases. And everything actually. Your well being is partly controlled by your mind, I will not argue against that. But is your perception of simply being alone translated into isolation ? I don't see why.

Being alone, and I mean really alone can be a good time for introspection and deep thought. A time without interruptions and who knows what. A time to chill your jets, to really cop some relaxation. Why do so many not like it, or even go so far as to avoid it, to shun it and to make sure it never happens ? It DOES affect one's well being, but that is still based on perception. Why percieve it that way ?

What say you ?

T

Profile

Post #: 1

RE: Social isolation period - 3/12/2010 11:35:11 AM

EclipseAbove

Posts: 220
Joined: 8/11/2005
Status: offline

As with anything else, I think moderation is the key. I think human contact and interaction is very important. As is isolation and time for introspection. However, extremes of either can be problematic and can lead to serious issues. Someone who spends too much time alone can begin to lose their interpersonal skills and ability to interact with others appropriately. Sadly, the internet introduces its own slant on this because of the anonymity and lack of consequences for inappropriate behavior. Likewise, someone who doesn't get enough "alone time" can begin to lose their ability to cope with being alone and lose the valuable insight that comes from introspection.

I think the rub for most people comes not so much from the two extremes, but rather with the timing. I think a lot of people have difficulty with having to be alone at times when they want to be social and vice versa. Being able to cope with these two situaition is important because we rarely get to control how life unfolds and what opportunities are presented to us.

Just my $0.02.

(in reply to Termyn8or)

Profile

Post #: 2

RE: Social isolation period - 3/13/2010 1:17:08 PM

Termyn8or

Posts: 18681
Joined: 11/12/2005
Status: offline

Here's a buck keep the change. You hit a couple of points here. First of all sometimes we tire of company, other times some may crave company. I think that trait is aware in most of us, and part of the point is an imbalance between the two. It seems though that some can live with it, either living a relatively isolated life, seeing only the postman, milkman and so forth. Others are social animals in a sense and thrive on human contact, which could be termed agoraphilic.

And about timing, first of all, I believe that at least half of the population is borderline manic depressive. Been renamed to bipolar and a few other things perhaps, but roots of the same tree so to speak. How much does it depend on the mood of the one who percieves an environment, of either solitude or popularity ?

T

(in reply to EclipseAbove)

Profile

Post #: 3

RE: Social isolation period - 3/13/2010 3:37:25 PM

LafayetteLady

Posts: 7683
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Northern New Jersey
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Termyn8or

Here's a buck keep the change. You hit a couple of points here. First of all sometimes we tire of company, other times some may crave company. I think that trait is aware in most of us, and part of the point is an imbalance between the two. It seems though that some can live with it, either living a relatively isolated life, seeing only the postman, milkman and so forth. Others are social animals in a sense and thrive on human contact, which could be termed agoraphilic.

And about timing, first of all, I believe that at least half of the population is borderline manic depressive. Been renamed to bipolar and a few other things perhaps, but roots of the same tree so to speak. How much does it depend on the mood of the one who percieves an environment, of either solitude or popularity ?

T

An agoraphobic is one who is terrified of public places and usually does self-commit themselves to a live of isolation. They are very "anti-social."

(in reply to Termyn8or)

Profile

Post #: 4

RE: Social isolation period - 3/13/2010 6:48:45 PM

DesFIP

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline

Sounds like you're less of an introvert than you used to be and you became more interested in company when you got used to having it. Lots of introverts prefer to be alone a lot. But if there's some social phobia as well, then desensitization to social situations, making you more comfortable in them, will lead you to want more social interaction.

With that said, I don't think being on the net as the opposite of being alone. I like it because I get just the amount of stimulation I need while controlling when I want to deal with the others with a click of a button. It allows me social interaction and isolation at the same time. Perfect for a major introvert like me.

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!

(in reply to LafayetteLady)

Profile

Post #: 5

RE: Social isolation period - 3/15/2010 3:36:08 AM

Termyn8or

Posts: 18681
Joined: 11/12/2005
Status: offline

"An agoraphobic is one who is terrified of public places and ..."

I said agoraphillic, not phobic.

T

(in reply to LafayetteLady)

Profile

Post #: 6

RE: Social isolation period - 3/15/2010 3:43:40 AM

Termyn8or

Posts: 18681
Joined: 11/12/2005
Status: offline

" social interaction and isolation at the same time."

You are amazingly good at carpentry - i. e. you hit the nail on the head. I think that is the allure of the internet really. If you don't get stupid you might just take over the world without having anyone know your name. You could be hated and 100,000 people could want to shoot you, but they will not find you. (well......)

Nice nother slant on this issue.

T

(in reply to DesFIP)

Profile

Post #: 7

RE: Social isolation period - 3/17/2010 7:15:09 PM

DesFIP

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline

lol, thanks Term.

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!

(in reply to Termyn8or)

Profile

Post #: 8

RE: Social isolation period - 3/18/2010 7:42:08 AM

Termyn8or

Posts: 18681
Joined: 11/12/2005
Status: offline

C'mon now I didn't mean nuthin.

But since you mentioned it the internet is a place you can interact with people and they don't drink up your beer.

T

(in reply to DesFIP)

Profile

Post #: 9

RE: Social isolation period - 3/18/2010 1:51:33 PM

came4U

Posts: 3572
Joined: 1/23/2007
From: London, Ontario
Status: offline

I was going to feel sorry for you Termy but naw, I won't and you don't need nor would appreciate that.

Maybe it is a good time (even if it takes years) to find your spirit. The natives spent years in solitude in order to find their animal spirit. So you are not a pack animal, big deal. You will find others, or they will find you, even without knowing yourself, either or.

When you want to crawl out of your shell or even some might consider 'skin' (hehe you been bad?) then you will. You eat, you bathe, you take care of yourself well and when it / the moment comes to you, then return. Always have it in mind that you 'will be back'.

aren't you...the Termyn8or? like eesh. Get your shit together and find your own wolf pack...you just might not be a lone creature. Even the lone creature has a mate ...if not for life than for the pure relief. So hey, eh, get a life.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IAmgTNATJkk HEY HEY, GET LAID, GET FUCKED!!

btw, nice to see you again :)

_____________________________

It hurts.....that you call me a masochist

(in reply to Termyn8or)

Profile

Post #: 10

RE: Social isolation period - 3/18/2010 6:13:28 PM

inserviouberfrau

Posts: 5
Joined: 3/17/2010
Status: offline

i'm a hikikomori, i talk to people in person like twice a week, to buy food at night or something... :l also, as an INFJ, its hard that i want to be social with people, yet i never feel satisfied, and always feel alone :(

(in reply to came4U)

Profile

Post #: 11

RE: Social isolation period - 3/19/2010 8:45:39 AM

DesFIP

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline

First, get yourself checked for social phobias. Because they're treatable. If there's any other issues like mood disorders, history of abuse, etc then you need to deal with those issues first.

Edit; just saw your profile. Is there a LGBTQ group nearby? Because you'll need people who understand you in order to feel that you belong.

< Message edited by DesFIP -- 3/19/2010 8:47:10 AM >

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!

(in reply to inserviouberfrau)

Profile

Post #: 12