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RE: why criticize a sub for smiling? - 3/13/2010 8:14:05 PM   
lucylucy


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< Message edited by lucylucy -- 3/13/2010 8:15:14 PM >


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RE: why criticize a sub for smiling? - 3/13/2010 8:15:29 PM   
came4U


Posts: 3572
Joined: 1/23/2007
From: London, Ontario
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quote:

I like to have a good time. I'm a Sadist. The grins often says "I am going to really put the boots to you, and this is going to be all about suffering-and I am going to get off on it."

What's not to smile about? If she smiles too-it just means I have connected with an animal every bit as depraved as I am.

Deosn't mean she is going to be smiling DURING



you sure about that? What is the diff if she smiles before, during or after? was anything accomplished as a sadist?

I mean if she smiles too? Then obviously, ....well, you know. Age old question.

< Message edited by came4U -- 3/13/2010 8:17:27 PM >


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RE: why criticize a sub for smiling? - 3/13/2010 8:47:12 PM   
MsLadySue


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OMG! I actually agree with osf's opinion for the first time.

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RE: why criticize a sub for smiling? - 3/13/2010 8:54:43 PM   
MasterSlaveLA


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quote:

ORIGINAL: lucylucy

I came across a comment in a Dom's journal today that I am very curious about. He criticized a submissive he was with for smiling, saying basically that a "true submissive" doesn't smile while being fucked...



Two likely reason's why...

1)  He's not used to women having a good time while he's fucking them (Translation:  He stinks in the sack).

2)  Too many women have laughed AT him during sex and he doesn't wanna re-live that nightmare (Translation:  He stinks in the sack).

Long story short... HE STINKS IN THE SACK!!! 




< Message edited by MasterSlaveLA -- 3/13/2010 8:55:55 PM >


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RE: why criticize a sub for smiling? - 3/13/2010 8:56:36 PM   
WyldHrt


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So... what are you trying to say here, MSLA? 
ETA- posted before your edit.


< Message edited by WyldHrt -- 3/13/2010 8:57:24 PM >


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RE: why criticize a sub for smiling? - 3/13/2010 8:58:34 PM   
DarlingSavage


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quote:

ORIGINAL: lucylucy

I came across a comment in a Dom's journal today that I am very curious about. He criticized a submissive he was with for smiling, saying basically that a "true submissive" doesn't smile while being fucked or given orders. OK, the whole "true submissive" thing is stupid, I know, and I'm not looking to start a debate about whether or not "true submissives" smile. I'm just trying to understand why anyone would criticize a sub for smiling. Can anyone enlighten me? Thanks.


He's not a real Dom! End of story! He's just some jealous asshole mother fucker piece of shit. Period., Been there done that and it was not under the guise of master, it was just that they were assholes. Pure and simple. There was no kink behind it b/c it was before I was even aware of my own kink. In other words, I was still thinking I was wierd and never talked about it. Having been criticised for everything from smiling right down to the way I gave hugs, FUCK THAT! I'm pretty sure THAT'S called ABUSE! Looks like there are others that agree with me, too.

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RE: why criticize a sub for smiling? - 3/13/2010 9:04:39 PM   
MasterSlaveLA


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quote:

ORIGINAL: WyldHrt

So... what are you trying to say here, MSLA? 




<whistles>



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RE: why criticize a sub for smiling? - 3/13/2010 9:05:50 PM   
came4U


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From: London, Ontario
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FR If the guy doesn't like 'smiling' he doesn't.

Then don't pick a guy who doesn't like smiling/spanking whatever. It is HIS thing. Some guys just don't like a smirk/smile on some gal's face while he does what he does., before or after. Doesn't make him any worse or better than any other potential master (to someone, just not you). Some guys want a gal to cry for real, some guys want crying in play.

Ie: I like a real mean SOB, I don't want some smiley guy, nice guy. That would turn me off just as much as it turns off some guy in the same manner.

< Message edited by came4U -- 3/13/2010 9:11:40 PM >


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RE: why criticize a sub for smiling? - 3/13/2010 9:19:34 PM   
NihilusZero


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quote:

ORIGINAL: lucylucy

I came across a comment in a Dom's journal today that I am very curious about. He criticized a submissive he was with for smiling, saying basically that a "true submissive" doesn't smile while being fucked or given orders. OK, the whole "true submissive" thing is stupid, I know, and I'm not looking to start a debate about whether or not "true submissives" smile. I'm just trying to understand why anyone would criticize a sub for smiling. Can anyone enlighten me? Thanks.


Perhaps she wasn't "smiling". Perhaps she was laughing. And perhaps it was during sex.




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I know they're all insane
I know it's all in vain
I know that I'm to blame."
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RE: why criticize a sub for smiling? - 3/13/2010 9:25:53 PM   
LafayetteLady


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quote:

ORIGINAL: came4U

I'd prefer to be the misery type. I do not like to smile, smiling implies to me that I have been deserving of some sort of 'reward'. Maybe I don't deserve to smile?



quote:


sigh, all I know that if I was owned, I wouldn't be here and I'd be the one blissfully happy to never see a computer again and live miserably under his miserable foot. Now THAT is worth a smile.



That is just.....sad.

< Message edited by LafayetteLady -- 3/13/2010 9:27:09 PM >

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RE: why criticize a sub for smiling? - 3/13/2010 9:26:13 PM   
came4U


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quote:

Perhaps she wasn't "smiling". Perhaps she was laughing. And perhaps it was during sex.


We've all had that kinda crappy sex guy, yeeechhhh http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fUYaosyR4bE

quote:

That is just.....sad.


you again?

now why would that be sad? (in your eyes)

< Message edited by came4U -- 3/13/2010 9:29:42 PM >


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RE: why criticize a sub for smiling? - 3/13/2010 9:31:20 PM   
LafayetteLady


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quote:

ORIGINAL: came4U

I just don't get the sadist pleasing a masochist scenerio. What good really is a masochist to a sadist? (a genuine sadist, that is, not just a play/pretend one)?


Because then a "genuine" (by your definition) sadist would be indulgin in abuse. A sadist derives pleasure from causing pain. A masochist derives pleasure from receiving pain.

There is nothing that says a sadist wants to cause misery to another person. That would be why sadists and masochists are so well suited for each other. Each gets pleasure from what the other does. It is probably the least confusing and straight forward "identity" within BDSM.

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RE: why criticize a sub for smiling? - 3/13/2010 9:32:40 PM   
LafayetteLady


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quote:

ORIGINAL: came4U

quote:

Perhaps she wasn't "smiling". Perhaps she was laughing. And perhaps it was during sex.


We've all had that kinda crappy sex guy, yeeechhhh http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fUYaosyR4bE

quote:

That is just.....sad.


you again?

now why would that be sad? (in your eyes)


The concept of wanting to live in misery, of not "deserving" to smile. Sorry, it is just a sad commentary on what you seem to be expecting from life.


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RE: why criticize a sub for smiling? - 3/13/2010 9:35:56 PM   
came4U


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From: London, Ontario
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quote:

Because then a "genuine" (by your definition) sadist would be indulgin in abuse. A sadist derives pleasure from causing pain. A masochist derives pleasure from receiving pain.

There is nothing that says a sadist wants to cause misery to another person. That would be why sadists and masochists are so well suited for each other. Each gets pleasure from what the other does. It is probably the least confusing and straight forward "identity" within BDSM.


My genuine opinion of a type of man/person as a sadist is my opinion.

quote:

The concept of wanting to live in misery, of not "deserving" to smile. Sorry, it is just a sad commentary on what you seem to be expecting from life.


If I choose NOT to be happy any further, is that your problem, or sad? I think it is rather relieving to not be selfish any further and move on to being ...a nothing, giving and all serving. In a way, I am never truly altrusitic and miserable am I? ;) I also get what I need. So that would make me a masochist to the umteeth degree, if I were to refuse any rewards, even as such as a smile. If that were the case, is that a bad thing, a no-no in your kink world of rules?

A masochist IMO would be no use to a real sadist., sorry to burst your bubble wrap.

That is why your ideal of misery caused upon another (or you) is seen as pure pleasure. There is no 'identity' within this thing we call BDSM. What you call 'sad' for me, might be a good thing. What is sad to me, in regards to others is that they take sadism as 'play' and in that case, it isn't relaly sadist--in it's full light.

A sadist by definition is one who enjoys inflicting pain (in reality, upon the unsuspecting OR the unwilling) and therefore a masochist is one who would take mild or even more enjoyment out of pain (for their own sacrificial/unknown deeds). The sadist, a true one (not play) would not fully enjoy the masochist in this case. You ideal of 'playing' masochist would be ok, if such sadist wanted to see a smile before, during and after (perhaps to relieve some of his guilt)? Who knows.

“I've already told you: the only way to a woman's heart is along the path of torment. I know none other as sure.” Marquis de sade

Oh, I get it now. You want the torment upon agreements and a woman's terms as a submissive. ahh okk, then in that case, one is not a masochist nor a sadist, they are equals agreeing on a few daily deeds when convenient. Gottcha.

“My manner of thinking, so you say, cannot be approved. Do you suppose I care? A poor fool indeed is he who adopts a manner of thinking for others!” Marquis de Sade again,

I don't want a man who thinks as me as an equal. Only an improvement, by his skill.

I do though, have MY limits as well as societies limits, but I do not believe in the limitations of giving myself to a man who is without thoughtful, bright intentions as anything but beneficial behaviour to him, nor I.


* in deeper thought, my kink might have something to do with the health problem I mentioned. In order that I remove it. NOT quite sure yet. workin' on that.




< Message edited by came4U -- 3/13/2010 10:17:41 PM >


_____________________________

It hurts.....that you call me a masochist


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RE: why criticize a sub for smiling? - 3/13/2010 9:40:48 PM   
DWCskitten


Posts: 199
Joined: 3/2/2010
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quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterSlaveLA

quote:

ORIGINAL: lucylucy

I came across a comment in a Dom's journal today that I am very curious about. He criticized a submissive he was with for smiling, saying basically that a "true submissive" doesn't smile while being fucked...



Two likely reason's why...

1)  He's not used to women having a good time while he's fucking them (Translation:  He stinks in the sack).

2)  Too many women have laughed AT him during sex and he doesn't wanna re-live that nightmare (Translation:  He stinks in the sack).

Long story short... HE STINKS IN THE SACK!!! 



OMG, i'm laughing my ass off here!!

It would be pretty tough if were i not allowed to smile. It's hard not to when i'm soooooo happy!

_____________________________

formerly sweetsub1957.

New beginnings...my first poly relationship.

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RE: why criticize a sub for smiling? - 3/13/2010 9:52:45 PM   
sblady


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quote:

ORIGINAL: antipode

You are asking us to interpret the actions of a person we know nothing about? I mean, everybody makes this up as we go along, there isn't exactly a manual for it...


There is a manual!! Sir showed it to me when I agreed to be His.

Op: This is one of the reasons I'm glad Doms list these, ahem, restrictions/requirements on their profiles. I know to keep it moving as I smile, giggle and laugh, especially when pain is being inflicted or when I'm very happy.

< Message edited by sblady -- 3/13/2010 9:53:57 PM >


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RE: why criticize a sub for smiling? - 3/13/2010 10:57:36 PM   
LafayetteLady


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From: Northern New Jersey
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quote:

ORIGINAL: came4U

My genuine opinion of a type of man/person as a sadist is my opinion.


And I did state that it is "your" opinion of what a sadist is. What I stated was not my "opinion," but the textbook definition of what a sadist is.

quote:

ORIGINAL: came4U

If I choose NOT to be happy any further, is that your problem, or sad?


Just like I think the death of a child is sad, or the earthquake in Haiti is sad. It isn't "my problem," it is a commentary on the state of something. I am delightfully ecstatically happy that the fact that you choose to be a miserable person has absolutely no bearing on my life. However, you really need to come to grips with the fact that if you are going to post on a public board that your greatest wish in life is to be "blissfully miserable," myself or someone else is likely to comment that it is a sad thing.

quote:

ORIGINAL: came4U

I think it is rather relieving to not be selfish any further and move on to being ...a nothing, giving and all serving. In a way, I am never truly altrusitic and miserable am I? ;) I also get what I need. So that would make me a masochist to the umteeth degree, if I were to refuse any rewards, even as such as a smile. If that were the case, is that a bad thing, a no-no in your kink world of rules?


Actually, what you just said is that if you are completely miserable, a nothing deserving of nothing, then you will be completely happy and fufilled. Really, you do need to get over yourself though with this concept of "my kink world of rules," because again....public message board, people state their opinions. Possibly your huge over reaction is a result of some internal conflict you have, who knows.

quote:

ORIGINAL: came4U
A masochist IMO would be no use to a real sadist., sorry to burst your bubble wrap.


Again, your OPINION, not the textbook definition.

quote:

ORIGINAL: came4U
That is why your ideal of misery caused upon another (or you) is seen as pure pleasure. There is no 'identity' within this thing we call BDSM. What you call 'sad' for me, might be a good thing. What is sad to me, in regards to others is that they take sadism as 'play' and in that case, it isn't relaly sadist--in it's full light.


Actually this thing we call "BDSM" is full of identities. You are playing the what is "true" or "not true" game. You are also still searching, so how's that been working for ya?

quote:

ORIGINAL: came4U
A sadist by definition is one who enjoys inflicting pain (in reality, upon the unsuspecting OR the unwilling) and therefore a masochist is one who would take mild or even more enjoyment out of pain (for their own sacrificial/unknown deeds). The sadist, a true one (not play) would not fully enjoy the masochist in this case. You ideal of 'playing' masochist would be ok, if such sadist wanted to see a smile before, during and after (perhaps to relieve some of his guilt)? Who knows.


This is YOUR definition, not the actual definition of a sadist. Incidentally, your definition is not one of a sadist, but one of a psychopath. But congratulation on being able to insult every sadist and masochist in this forum by telling them all that they are not "real" but only "playing" at being sadists and masochists. Nice job.

quote:

ORIGINAL: came4U
Oh, I get it now. You want the torment upon agreements and a woman's terms as a submissive. ahh okk, then in that case, one is not a masochist nor a sadist, they are equals agreeing on a few daily deeds when convenient. Gottcha.


Actually, I'm neither a sadist or a masochist, so I am not looking for "torment" at all. What I wanted was a fufilling relationship with a man that I loved whole heartedly and who loved me in return. I have that. We smile, we laugh, we have a wonderfully satisfying sex life, he is dominant and I am very happy.

quote:

ORIGINAL: came4U
I don't want a man who thinks as me as an equal. Only an improvement, by his skill.


Well, that shouldn't be all that difficult. I can't imagine why you are having such trouble finding a man who is superior to you.

Believe me, I "get it" more than you know. Being miserable makes you happy. Which, by the way means you are a living, breathing oxymoron because if you are happy, then you aren't miserable. I hope the fantasy of what you want eventually turns into a reality, I really truly do.

And on second thought, I don't think you being more miserable than you already are makes me sad at all. I think I actually find it hysterically funny.




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RE: why criticize a sub for smiling? - 3/13/2010 11:25:08 PM   
came4U


Posts: 3572
Joined: 1/23/2007
From: London, Ontario
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quote:

Just like I think the death of a child is sad, or the earthquake in Haiti is sad. It isn't "my problem," it is a commentary on the state of something. I am delightfully ecstatically happy that the fact that you choose to be a miserable person has absolutely no bearing on my life.


just you comparing what I said to death of um's or natural disaster is ...downright weird and sadistic. Very WEIRD, and creepy (again). You did the same in the other thread when I called you creeeepy.

quote:

However, you really need to come to grips with the fact that if you are going to post on a public board that your greatest wish in life is to be "blissfully miserable," myself or someone else is likely to comment that it is a sad thing.


If my wish was to be 'blissfully miserable' as a submissive who got whipped daily...is that a no no also? My misery adaptability is my business, not yours, since you are not the one who has to whip me nor heal me.


quote:

Actually, what you just said is that if you are completely miserable, a nothing deserving of nothing, then you will be completely happy and fufilled. Really, you do need to get over yourself though with this concept of "my kink world of rules," because again....public message board, people state their opinions. Possibly your huge over reaction is a result of some internal conflict you have, who knows.


MY kink rules? lol, look back/up, I have no internal issues. I enjoy to not enjoy what I want to get. If I get my kicks being emotionally tormented instead of a whip, or with one (helps with that too)...is that a crime to you? (of course it will be, since LF thinks she can tell me what to think). That will be the day some dame bosses me around ok---get it LF???

quote:

Actually this thing we call "BDSM" is full of identities. You are playing the what is "true" or "not true" game. You are also still searching, so how's that been working for ya?


It is working just fine. Merci.

quote:

This is YOUR definition, not the actual definition of a sadist. Incidentally, your definition is not one of a sadist, but one of a psychopath. But congratulation on being able to insult every sadist and masochist in this forum by telling them all that they are not "real" but only "playing" at being sadists and masochists. Nice job.


One person's psychopath, is another's lover. IMO, anyone who does the 'play' for the sake of 'I'm going to hurt you at 4:30 pm, see you there' business is not my cup of tea nor choice of partner. I never claimed they are fake, you did. Don't put words into my mouth/keyboard/fingers lady.

quote:

Actually, I'm neither a sadist or a masochist, so I am not looking for "torment" at all. What I wanted was a fufilling relationship with a man that I loved whole heartedly and who loved me in return. I have that. We smile, we laugh, we have a wonderfully satisfying sex life, he is dominant and I am very happy.


You do what you want, I didn't ask what you did. So why do you care what I want to do? Perhaps because on the last threads I told you off, as it should have been, because you were arrogant and out of line? This has nothing to do with you, sadism or masochism, this has to do with 'I want to confront came4u because she just plain bugs me'. Well get over it.

Unless a thread genuinely involves my taste of kink content or opinion that I feel strongly about, I don't bother. You could learn the same--since you have no bother with sadism or masochism.

quote:

Well, that shouldn't be all that difficult. I can't imagine why you are having such trouble finding a man who is superior to you.


You don't know my sex life lol. I have no trouble finding it/that/him, thanks. Don't assume.

quote:

Believe me, I "get it" more than you know. Being miserable makes you happy. Which, by the way means you are a living, breathing oxymoron because if you are happy, then you aren't miserable. I hope the fantasy of what you want eventually turns into a reality, I really truly do.


lol, you get nothing. I am a what I am...A happy girl, who likes to be miserable under the thumb of a VERY capable man, that makes me both miserable and happy.

quote:

And on second thought, I don't think you being more miserable than you already are makes me sad at all. I think I actually find it hysterically funny.


If you find it funny, 'hysterically funny' then scroll up...that would make you a liar and a hypocrite because you said you are
quote:

I'm neither a sadist or a masochist
.

..in this case, you are a masochist awe. hate when that happens. I hate catching people in their own ...bull. it hurts

PS. LF: I also noticed that AGAIN you checked out my profile, I assume looking for some kinda blood/weakness. Hun, really, get some class. The chicks around here have class, they aren't stupid, nor am I. What different would you expect to find on there from days ago (again)??? If you were a guy I'd call you a CREEP. Seriously, get some class. I will not post anything but bla bla bla on my profile, and that is all it is ok, bla bla bla everyday boring dull nonsense that means nothing to YOU personally. (nor do I disclose my sex life or tell if I get laid on there) LOL.

Anyone can go back on my thousands of posts and LOOK for something hypocritical, sorry, won't find it. But your discrepancies have been found several times by ME, (and hell, I didn't even know you till last week) and yet another one just on this thread. Seriously, grow up.

< Message edited by came4U -- 3/13/2010 11:56:11 PM >


_____________________________

It hurts.....that you call me a masochist


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Profile   Post #: 38
RE: why criticize a sub for smiling? - 3/13/2010 11:58:48 PM   
Justme696


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From: Royal kingdom of the Netherlands
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I am not sure who is weirder...he who forbids smiling..or she who accepts it.
Smiling is not something you can forbid or order to happen.
Smiling is more then forming your lips......it is just an expression of happiness...more happens within a person.
Sounds the guy wants a kind of "dead body" to fuck.

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Profile   Post #: 39
RE: why criticize a sub for smiling? - 3/14/2010 12:08:57 AM   
came4U


Posts: 3572
Joined: 1/23/2007
From: London, Ontario
Status: offline
quote:

I am not sure who is weirder...he who forbids smiling..or she who accepts it.
Smiling is not something you can forbid or order to happen.
Smiling is more then forming your lips......it is just an expression of happiness...more happens within a person


If a man/dominant forbids it, there, done. more punishment.
Perhaps expression is not allowed, especially of satisfaction or happiness (at that time)

quote:

Sounds the guy wants a kind of "dead body" to fuck.


Necro, is what it is, death, a kink all on it's own that very few participate in.

A girl isn't dead just because she is in pain or ...oh ok, well, we can go round n round about the maso/sado enjoy or inflict business.

Besides, that is like saying it is OK to smile BUT, if a girl you are whipping and you mean serious business you don't want her to. Is that a requirement? That she it is ok to smile then? but not at other times?

Point is, as the OP asked, if a Dominant wants no smiles/smirks on a gal, then do so...or get off the boat.

_____________________________

It hurts.....that you call me a masochist


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