DickSteel
Posts: 148
Joined: 3/20/2010
From: Man of Mystery & Intrigue
Status: offline
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Dear Huge Lance,
You got me... I never had one nor do I have a clue what would go into a Vodka martini. I do know that in the movie, there is a bottle of Smirnoff vodka on the tray when Sean Connery spoke those famous words, hence my presumption about the contents. It just goes to show, in the spy business, things are not always as they seem... even in the movies.
I do know the Gods will bless you for avoiding a “breakfast martini”. Long ago, I discovered Gilbey's gin and the martini. I was taught that you make a good martini by rinsing the glass in Martini & Rossi vermouth and pouring it out. That isn't quite as dry as the one you describe, but it's pretty close.
After a bout with absinthe; when I say bout, I mean I was in my 20s and I learned a friend smuggled a bunch of it and I got a hold of several cases. After exploring the French water and sugar method of drinking it, I discovered the Flaming Green Fairy where you set the sugar on fire before you add water. Well, to hell with all that. I invented the American way of drinking absinthe. Fuck the flames, skip the water and stay away from sugar. Drink it straight out of the bottle! I also learned drinking it straight has ramifications.
A month later, I came to in a hotel on the other side of town and found a teenage girl with a long red Mohawk in my bed. Turns out she had been my girlfriend for several weeks. Judging from the hand prints on her ass and cock prints on her tits, I was inclined to believe her, even though I had no recollection of her or the past few weeks. Afterall, she was a young, voluptuous girly girl and just as pretty as you can be while sporting a 18 inch mohawk.
Anyway, after the absinthe incident which erased a month of my life and magically materialized a girl with a red Mohawk, I remembered where I lived and went home to my lonely slave. As entertained as my slave was by the red mohawk girl I had in tow, she wisely introduced me to Tanqueray gin as slightly saner form of liquid medicine. I call gin and absinthe liquid medicine because that was why they were invented. The distinctive flavor of juniper berries in gin is because it is a health tonic designed to ward off the bubonic plague. Gin's medical history starts in the 1600s. Absinthe's origins and wormwood extracts date back to ancient Greece.
Tanqueray started to wear thin after a while. Eventually, in my late 20s, I discovered an exquisite and lovely model named marsha in the French Quarter of New Orleans. She was German. She was a perfectionist. Yes, Marsha was a liquor snob. That was when I found Bombay gin. I must say, there isn't a finer gin on this green Earth. Like marsha, that gin is in perfect balance. I have never grown tired of it and it held its appeal much longer than marsha ever did.
After I left marsha in New Orleans, she started going with Iggy Pop. Strangely, a few years earlier, I was going with one of Iggy's ex girls. Iggy and I have a few friends in common, including the absinthe smuggler. Later, I saw Iggy in a Miami hotel and he was with a girl that had a giant red mohawk. I always wondered if absinthe had anything to do with that.
So my Lance-of-Hugeness, the next time I want a dry martini, per your counsel, I will just whisper the word "vermouth" over the gin.
With Regards,
Dick-of-Steel
ps. I have always been a Cinzano vermouth fan myself
_____________________________
The man of steel is laughing with you, not at you.
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