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First Things First - 3/19/2004 10:56:58 AM

MistressKiss

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I have learned that in order to be an effective Master, one must first master himself or herself. What does this mean to all of you?

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< Message edited by MistressKiss -- 3/19/2004 10:57:09 AM >

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"I assure you, Your Honor, I don't have to practice...I'm very good at them..."
(The Marquis de Sade at one of his trials for the sexual perversities he practiced)

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RE: First Things First - 3/19/2004 7:58:40 PM

Estring

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I think that with maturity comes the realization that as great as the perks are in being a Dom, there is also a great responsibility in having a sub/slave. I think that understanding is most important.

(in reply to MistressKiss)

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RE: First Things First - 3/20/2004 2:30:38 PM

topcat

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M.Kiss-

To me, it means being able to control my temper, to hold back my heart, not to bruise with harsh words, nor to wrong entice with sweet ones. It means to consider my actions in light of what is best for all concerned, to live my life clearly and openly. It means to master my own life before I attemp to master another.

Stay Warm,
Lawrence

(in reply to MistressKiss)

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RE: First Things First - 3/24/2004 7:36:08 AM

sirBUCKiam

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I believe that to Master a slave one must realize ones own character defects and be implimenting corrective measures first. Controlling , molding, correcting a slaves traits can only be accomplished if the Master is balanced and well rounded themselves!

(in reply to topcat)

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RE: First Things First - 3/24/2004 9:38:23 AM

ZenMaster

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quote:

ORIGINAL: MistressKiss

I have learned that in order to be an effective Master, one must first master himself or herself. What does this mean to all of you?

I do believe one should master himself before taking on the responsibility of mastering someone else. That's not to say mistakes won't be made on the part of the Master as they will for we're only human. It does say, however, that because the Master can master himself, he is better able to recognize his errors and learn from them.
I practice zen buddhism and that has helped me greatly in being the Master I am today. I'm not suggesting everyone should sit on a cushion and meditate each day but I do believe it is a strong advantage to self-mastery by developing personal insight and sitting zazen (meditating) helps me acheive that.
I wish everyone who reads this all the best in not only mastering others but mastering your own self as well.

(in reply to MistressKiss)

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RE: First Things First - 3/24/2004 11:46:30 AM

ShadowHwk

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From: New York
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quote:

ORIGINAL: MistressKiss

I have learned that in order to be an effective Master, one must first master himself or herself. What does this mean to all of you?

To me it means that before you can even think about taking on the responsibility required of a Master/Mistress you must first have your own life firmly under control; financially, emotionally, and spiritually. It means not starting a new relationship until you are ethically and emotionally able to do so. You cannot possibly control another when your life is in turmoil or flux. How can you expect another to respect and serve you when you don’t respect yourself?

Recently a friend of mine had a “Master” show up for his first meeting with her – wanting to move in because he was about to be evicted. This is not how a Master behaves. What’s wrong with this picture?

Peace and Light
Terry

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RE: First Things First - 4/3/2004 4:49:05 AM

quietseeker

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I think that if a Master/Mistress "requires" a sub/slave's actions to be a reflection of the Master/Mistress, then the Master/Mistress must necessarily BE what He/She is demanding as proper behavior. Thought, word and deed must be above reproach, as that is what is required of the sub/slave. Physical, mental and emotional traits must also be "in balance" with the requirements levied.

Bottom line, to Me, to BE the One, I must be everything I require of another, and more. Hypocrasy has no place in this.

QS

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RE: First Things First - 4/3/2004 9:08:10 AM

ssoft

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quote:

ORIGINAL: quietseeker

I think that if a Master/Mistress "requires" a sub/slave's actions to be a reflection of the Master/Mistress, then the Master/Mistress must necessarily BE what He/She is demanding as proper behavior. Thought, word and deed must be above reproach, as that is what is required of the sub/slave. Physical, mental and emotional traits must also be "in balance" with the requirements levied.

Bottom line, to Me, to BE the One, I must be everything I require of another, and more. Hypocrasy has no place in this.

QS

I totally agree. I was in a relationship from the start that was, as I believed it to be, totally honest. In time things turned. I was lied to, misled, told things with particulars left out. When confronted, there was no explanation just a barage of questions as to why should I be asking, why should I be told. He is THE MASTER, i am the slave. Am sorry but that just didn't do it for me any longer. I was hurt emotionally numerous times with the promise of, I will never do that again, yet it continually occurred. His behaviour was unaccountable yet mine always was. I stood deadfast in all that He wanted of me, a struggle that I am still dealing with.

ssoft

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RE: First Things First - 4/26/2004 7:05:26 PM

Sinergy

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I want to use a corrolary, I have a 3rd degree black belt and 23 years experience in various martial arts. I also teach full-contact women's self defense.

I could use all of this to do bad things, or I can keep my sword in it's scabbard and seek to do good things instead.

I choose to do the latter. I dont pick fights, I am extremely polite and courteous to all.

But one of the things I had to learn along the way was how to control myself. How not to allow my emotions to guide my actions. I also had to learn how to focus on the minute in my life and keep a clean and neat house, finances, and all the rest by myself, as this was not my nature 25 years ago.

Now that I have controlled myself and my life to some extent, I feel that I can bring another into it with me.

Sinergy

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