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RE: are they mixed messages - 4/9/2010 7:54:23 AM   
leadership527


Posts: 5026
Joined: 6/2/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: lally2
id agree and argue that most Ds or Ms people are motivated sexually by their Dominant or submissive personalities.

OK, so I know I'm an oddball on this one, but in this case that weirdness makes the problem much simpler. Since I would be looking for social submissive, not a sexual submissive, I wouldn't have to DO anything nor would they. We would simply meet. It would become immediately clear who was running the show. I generally find that the best place to look for the signals I care about are in the totally normal sorts of statements... "Have a seat over there", "The salad here is good, you should try it." type stuff that is so mundane that it flies below the radar of D/s. At the end of the lunch or whatever, there is no way I could miss the fact that for the personality type I am looking for, it was me who directed everything without having to exert any overt influence. The personality type I look for submits in a reflexive way.

Just for the record, WAY more important to me than someone's dom/sub nature is the entire rest of their nature. If I was looking for a 3rd for Carol and I it'd be a sub. But if Carol died and I needed a new partner, it could be anyone.

_____________________________

~Jeff

I didn't so much "enslave" Carol as I did "enlove" her. - Me
I want a joyous, loving, respectful relationship where the male is in charge and deserves to be. - DavanKael

(in reply to lally2)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: are they mixed messages - 4/27/2010 1:41:34 PM   
dragon200070


Posts: 93
Joined: 2/9/2010
Status: offline
On initial meet, worry about long-term works. Be yourself. A real Dom will recognize that he must build respect before you can be real subby. On first dates, I am myslef, and encourage my partner to be too.

Be concerned with his philosophy, whether he's genuine and truthful, and the presence of good chemistry.

Jeff

(in reply to lally2)
Profile   Post #: 22
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