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RE: Need help...poem title - 4/2/2010 4:16:53 PM

blacksword404

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Arpig

I just wrote a poem and for the life of me I can't think of a title for it...any suggestions?

Playin' shinny after a bottle of Jack
don't make you no younger but it sure takes you back.
The usual gang talkin' trash and takin' bets
on a sunny afternoon, its as good as it gets

Ain't nobody hirin' so why even try,
whistle at the girls as they parade by.
Nothin' else to do but wander down the road
get so effin' bored I think I might explode.

I know, I know what I don't know,
ain't no point in holding on so I just let go.
Let go, let go, dance through the night,
goin' round and round til you're feelin' all right

Break out the guitars and sing an old song,
don't give a damn if we got the words all wrong.
Twenty brown bottles lyin' on the floor,
pitch in your cash boys we got to go for more.

Let go, let go, dance through the night,
goin' round and round til you're feelin' all right.
All right, all right, reap what you sow,
'cause nothin' means nothin as far as I know.

This crazy life will be the end of me yet,
each passing day just puts you further in debt.
Guess I always knew there'd be days like this:
"Suspended animation, a state of bliss."

All right, all right, reap what you sow,
'cause nothin' means nothin as far as I know.
I know, I know what I don't know,
ain't no point in holding on so I just let go.

R. P. G.
02/04/10

Maybe "Watched by time"

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Post #: 21

RE: Need help...poem title - 4/2/2010 4:26:06 PM

ShoreBound149

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Post #: 22

RE: Need help...poem title - 4/2/2010 7:23:47 PM

Arpig

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Clearly, shorebound you have no soul....tant pis pour vous

I am very much inclined to title it Victoria Day....that is the name of the May holiday up here in the north

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RE: Need help...poem title - 4/2/2010 7:50:25 PM

ShoreBound149

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No soul? Check out my earlier deeply, emotional title suggestion...it was inspiring.

"Victoria Day"? Ce titre suce!

Where's the soul in naming your little ditty after a Candian holiday that celebrates some crusty, figure head monarch's birthday?

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RE: Need help...poem title - 4/2/2010 9:24:58 PM

Musicmystery

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Arpig

Well so far the short list is

Saturday in May
Takin' You Back
What I Don't Know
As Good As It Gets

I am leaning towards the first and the last...any more suggestions?

Dance Through the Night

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Post #: 25

RE: Need help...poem title - 4/2/2010 10:33:00 PM

kdsub

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Post #: 26

RE: Need help...poem title - 4/3/2010 4:55:03 AM

LanceHughes

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quote:

ORIGINAL: pahunkboy

quote:

ORIGINAL: LanceHughes

Oh, I forgot to say: ten years of editing for a nationally distributed, glossy gay porno mag. Killed by internet. RIP.

yeah well- you never took me out dancing.

You never send flowers.

You never call me.

What kind of boyfriend are you!

_STOMP!

pahunk: The reason I don't even fax is that your political views and mine are so far apart, aint' nothing EVER gonna happen between us. Is a "click" even possible? Nope. So I don't even try.

If those are suggested titles, I don't get it.
If those are not suggested titles, please do not thread-jack.

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Post #: 27

RE: Need help...poem title - 4/3/2010 4:59:12 AM

LanceHughes

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quote:

ORIGINAL: came4U

good titles for that? hmmm
how about:

but, I know that I know Jack.
Do you know Jack?
I knew when I met Jack.

WOW! I have a new, TOTAL favorite, namely #1, but slightly modified to:

"I know that I know Jack"

The cross reference to the "Jack" in the first line just made this totally powerful / correct / appropriate (you name it) for me.

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RE: Need help...poem title - 4/3/2010 5:07:47 AM

LanceHughes

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Arpig

I am very much inclined to title it Victoria Day....that is the name of the May holiday up here in the north

Do NOT name it that. Such a title loses all semblence of the universality of this poem. Your poem is appropos for all times in Canada, all times in ANY country, really. There's always young men sitting around, no jobs to be had so why even try....

Naming it "Victoria Day" will get it rejected by any reader. It is NOT a "mood" poem about a feeling that one might have on that holiday, but rather a mood for all times, all places. I can see it happening in all temperatures, all climates. Sure, it seems lazy, summer.... but read as if it's ice cold, winter.

It's about male bonding, not a dead Queen.

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RE: Need help...poem title - 4/3/2010 6:03:30 AM

barelynangel

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The New Country Music Song

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Post #: 30

RE: Need help...poem title - 4/3/2010 10:18:55 AM

pahunkboy

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LanceHughes

quote:

ORIGINAL: pahunkboy

quote:

ORIGINAL: LanceHughes

Oh, I forgot to say: ten years of editing for a nationally distributed, glossy gay porno mag. Killed by internet. RIP.

yeah well- you never took me out dancing.

You never send flowers.

You never call me.

What kind of boyfriend are you!

_STOMP!

pahunk: The reason I don't even fax is that your political views and mine are so far apart, aint' nothing EVER gonna happen between us. Is a "click" even possible? Nope. So I don't even try.

If those are suggested titles, I don't get it.
If those are not suggested titles, please do not thread-jack.

Well- thats for the better- because I will never EVER let a man think FOR me.

So while it is fun to look- I appreciate me, the way no one else ever can.

- in short- I am not slave material.

Not really.

Thanks for the shout.

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Post #: 31

RE: Need help...poem title - 4/3/2010 11:23:51 AM

Outlier2

Posts: 258
Joined: 11/12/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Arpig

Let go, let go, dance through the night,
goin' round and round til you're feelin' all right.
All right, all right, reap what you sow,
'cause nothin' means nothin as far as I know.

R. P. G.
02/04/10

quote:

sophia37

Your poem is called "As far as I know"

Arpig,

I believe that sophia37 has recognized an excellent choice.

I also think your title is in that refrain.

But it could also be:    Reap What You Sow
                             'Cause Nothin' Means Nothin
            or just     Nothin Means Nothin

Whatever your choice I thank you for your poem
and I agree it could be a great song lyric.

Outlier

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Post #: 32

RE: Need help...poem title - 4/4/2010 12:42:26 PM

Arpig

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I am going with "As Good As It Gets"...I made a few changes, here's the final version:

AS GOOD AS IT GETS

Playin' shinny after a bottle of Jack
don't make you no younger but it sure takes you back.
The usual gang talkin' trash and takin' bets
on a sunny afternoon, its as good as it gets.

I know, I know what I don't know,
ain't no point in holding on so I just let go.
Let go, let go, dance through the night,
goin' round and round til you're feelin' all right

Ain't nobody hirin' so why even try,
whistle at the girls as they parade by.
Nothin' else to do but wander down the road
get so effin' bored I think I might explode.

Let go, let go, dance through the night,
goin' round and round til you're feelin' all right.
All right, all right, reap what you sow,
'cause nothin' means nothin' as far as I know.

Break out the guitars and sing an old song,
don't give a damn if we got the words wrong.
Twenty brown bottles lyin' on the floor,
pitch in your cash boys we got to get more.

All right, all right, reap what you sow,
'cause nothin' means nothin' as far as I know.
I know, I know what I don't know,
ain't no point in holding on so I just let go.

This crazy life will be the end of me yet,
each passing day just puts you further in debt.
Guess I always knew there'd be days like this:
"Suspended animation, a state of bliss."

I know, I know what I don't know,
ain't no point in holding on so I just let go.
Let go, let go, of all your regrets,
on a sunny afternoon, its as good as it gets..

R. P. G.
02/04/10

_____________________________

Big man! Pig Man!
Ha Ha...Charade you are!

Why do they leave out the letter b on "Garage Sale" signs?

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Post #: 33

RE: Need help...poem title - 4/4/2010 3:05:58 PM

LanceHughes

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Last line of the (currently) third verse still doesn't scan. Oh, wait.... you didn't change it.

Jus' sayin'

In any instance, I hope you get a musician to buy this. I really, really think you have a winner! Why? 'cause I read little poetry and haven't found anything I really like in, what? ten years.....

BEST of Luck!

Regards, Lance

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"Advice is what we ask for when we already know the answer, but wish we didn't." Erica Jong

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