This is truly a first for me.... (Full Version)

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blueeyedbbwsub -> This is truly a first for me.... (4/2/2010 9:48:41 AM)

I was just contacted by a Dom who says he's into having his sub wear a strap-on and use it on him. I have assumed (yes, I know, assume = make and ASS of You and Me) [:D] that this was more of a power position, not at all submissive in nature. I was told "I thought that you were one of those special subs that cherished penetrating your Master for the special connection and oneness it creates".

Anyone out there who can advise me on this? I know it might seem like a silly question but I'm honestly baffled by this. He tells me that he chose to contact me because I had that listed as a "love it". Wasn't even aware that this was on my profile.

Yes, I'm bi-sexual. Yes I've used one with my sub sister when we both served the same Dom. I am in no way a prude, hell, that's the last word anyone would use to describe me. I'm really in the dark about this. I know there's always a first, and whatever floats your boat is fine by me. I try my best not to judge as I don't like being judged. But this is one of those WTF moments for me.


grumble snort mpghdf can't even read properly some days and have to edit



MasterFireMaam -> RE: This is truly a first for me.... (4/2/2010 10:14:14 AM)

Enjoying a sensation isn't what makes you a Master/Dom or slave/sub, in Our opinion. The intent behind the sensation and the experience of the sensation does. Many people assume their intent and experience of the sensation is "the" intent and experience such that everyone should also feel that way. They often don't.

Master Fire



blueeyedbbwsub -> RE: This is truly a first for me.... (4/2/2010 10:19:21 AM)

Thanks for the input. I guess I just needed to be reminded that it's about the intent. I know it doesn't reflect on the Dom, i made a mistake in assuming that, so I am the ASS in "assume". I now feel like a complete moron and I brought that on myself.



aldompdx -> RE: This is truly a first for me.... (4/2/2010 10:37:27 AM)

Sometimes the form of an act and the substance of intent do not coalesce. Thus, certain things are illegal.

Everybody is different. Honor your own limits. If your resistance is merely a preference, then surrender can involve expanding what you choose to share.



blueeyedbbwsub -> RE: This is truly a first for me.... (4/2/2010 10:51:47 AM)

Thank you. It's not something I've ever thought of as any type of limit. Never entered my mind. I'm more than willing to expand my horizons and learn. After all, if I stop learning then I might as well be 6 feet under. And I'm not ready to go to the grave yet. I still have some pretty good years left and want to live life to the fullest.



jbcurious -> RE: This is truly a first for me.... (4/2/2010 11:02:48 AM)

I was in this situation years ago with a Dom who while being sucked off also wanted penetration...he controled the scene and we were both serving him in the manner he desired.... I didn't see it as reducing his Dominance or putting me in control.



sirsholly -> RE: This is truly a first for me.... (4/2/2010 1:46:11 PM)

I think perhaps the Dom just likes it [sm=dunno.gif]



lally2 -> RE: This is truly a first for me.... (4/2/2010 3:00:47 PM)

its an interesting question though.  have to admit id feel a bit strange with that one too.  i was thinking vaguely about something said on here recently, nothing specific though, about what creates the whole male supremacy thing - a pregnant woman is a vessel for a time, for the mans baby, for a time she is reliant on support.  and the whole sex act of penetration, entering a woman is a strong psychological 'invasion' of her body.

in recent times with emancipation and the vote and women holding their own in society more than they ever did, even 40 years ago this whole domination of a womans body by a mans cock, semen and eventually baby is now aggressively rejected - but ill admit, when im pined down and fucked i love the domination of that act.

i had a Master who enjoyed penetration with my finger, at first i felt a bit squeamish, but i did it anyway, in the end i just saw it as giving him something he enjoyed on a purely physical level.  i guess i could wear a strap on but i watched a programme about this on the tv a while back.  the Domme who wore it said that it gave her a feeling of Dominance and power and im not sure if the act wouldnt bring out the very small and quietly curious Domme in me so it probably would fuck wth my head, i might even be tempted to slap him on the arse to see how that felt too - hm, wonder how that would go down.... [:D]



blueeyedbbwsub -> RE: This is truly a first for me.... (4/2/2010 3:30:15 PM)

Seeing as i've now been chatting with him for a part of the afternoon, I've just been informed that "he's going to take off at a mild speed, jump into MY arms and wrap himself around my neck and wrap his legs around my waist" . Now I know I'm not a lightweight, but dammmm that just sends a scary image into my head. **SHUDDER** Gonna have to ask him if he's going to trust me to shave his neck with a straightrazor with my most demonic stare n that lil tiny glint in my eye. Ok, forget that, how about just the evil eye? "cuddling tight into you in your arms" HEYYYY wait, ain't I supposed to be the one who does the jumping? [&:]



lovingpet -> RE: This is truly a first for me.... (4/2/2010 3:32:59 PM)

I am with Holly on this one.  He just likes it.  Last I checked, we were there to please the dominant.  If he enjoys it, then you are serving him by doing it.  There are no submissive or dominant acts.  Thinking makes it so.  Regardless, if this is something that you simply cannot do for him, then it is time to discuss it and make some decisions.  Good luck!

lovingpet



DrkJourney -> RE: This is truly a first for me.... (4/2/2010 3:49:11 PM)

Had a friend who had that come up.  She thought the act was one of power.  I told her it could be looked at either way.  If asked to perform this on a dominant, maybe he or she is looking at you as a sex toy to do with what he or she wants. 

You are serving them as a toy, just as they would use a dildo, vibrator, etc.  not in a position of power.

Anywhooo....the little mind trick worked for her[:D]

adding:  I just saw your latest post.  Actually the above advice works for just about anything asked to be done by your Dominant.  You have to get in the same mindset as your dominant and pretty much throw away the stereotypes of being a submissive.

Even if it looks like something the dominant should do or regulated to what a submissive should do....it all boils down to what the dominant requires in service.  That is why it's important to take your time and find a dominant that has a simular mindset as you



blueeyedbbwsub -> RE: This is truly a first for me.... (4/2/2010 4:36:29 PM)

I am all for being there for the wants and desires of my Dom, I have never denied what my Dom wanted. However, when the true vs fake sub card is called, and anyone who doesn't fit his wants is not a twue sub, then I have a serious issue with that. The more questions I ask, the more he backtracks to fit his answers to what he thinks I want to hear. He's backtracked to China right about now. I can let my point of view be taken, in the spirit it was intented. But I also don't backtrack and fit my answers to what someone thinks they should be.

The question I originally asked was not done properly. For that I do apologize. My intent was not to call into question his intentions, after all this is how he feels. I may be passing up on the one who is right for both of us. But right now, I don't feel as if I could meet his needs and be truthful to myself and most importantly to him.



DrkJourney -> RE: This is truly a first for me.... (4/2/2010 4:55:02 PM)

Actually, I should apologise...I didn't make myself clear.  When I responded I was speaking in general, not of your particular situation.

On your particular situation, me, personally, would just say "thanks, but no thanks" and move on to another.  This one just doesn't sound quite right to me.

Best thing is to follow your instincts and yours have already spoken....stop wasting your time with this one



leadership527 -> RE: This is truly a first for me.... (4/2/2010 5:00:03 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: lovingpet
I am with Holly on this one.  He just likes it.  Last I checked, we were there to please the dominant.  If he enjoys it, then you are serving him by doing it.  There are no submissive or dominant acts.  Thinking makes it so.  Regardless, if this is something that you simply cannot do for him, then it is time to discuss it and make some decisions.  Good luck!
I'm afraid, Pet, that you are arguing with the combined wisdom of hundreds, maybe thousands of collarme threads. In the threads there is an entire laundry list of undomly acts -- the mere thought of which instantly causes any dom to lose all domly mojo. Just off the top of my head from recent memory...

- giving backrubs
- giving footrubs
- receiving anal penetration (god knows how many times now)
- giving oral sex
- worshipping your submissive
- worshipping her feet

And I'm certain I've missed a few more. Nobody's actually commented on it, but I occasionally kneel to Carol and that's just gotta be on the list too. I'm sure I would read all about this stuff if I'd actually done anything more than look at the pictures in my Dom's Handbook, revised, 4th edition.



DrkJourney -> RE: This is truly a first for me.... (4/2/2010 5:13:40 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: leadership527

quote:

ORIGINAL: lovingpet
I am with Holly on this one.  He just likes it.  Last I checked, we were there to please the dominant.  If he enjoys it, then you are serving him by doing it.  There are no submissive or dominant acts.  Thinking makes it so.  Regardless, if this is something that you simply cannot do for him, then it is time to discuss it and make some decisions.  Good luck!
I'm afraid, Pet, that you are arguing with the combined wisdom of hundreds, maybe thousands of collarme threads. In the threads there is an entire laundry list of undomly acts -- the mere thought of which instantly causes any dom to lose all domly mojo. Just off the top of my head from recent memory...

- giving backrubs
- giving footrubs
- receiving anal penetration (god knows how many times now)
- giving oral sex
- worshipping your submissive
- worshipping her feet

And I'm certain I've missed a few more. Nobody's actually commented on it, but I occasionally kneel to Carol and that's just gotta be on the list too. I'm sure I would read all about this stuff if I'd actually done anything more than look at the pictures in my Dom's Handbook, revised, 4th edition.


You too?  I thought I was the only one!   My fave is the pic on page 444[:D]



SimplyMichael -> RE: This is truly a first for me.... (4/2/2010 5:56:11 PM)

quote:

The only reason I haven't done prostate massage is the only thing I enjoy up my ass is someone's greedy tongue. However, IF that changed and I decided I wanted to be fucked in the ass for MY pleasure it just might go something like this...

Sitting on the edge of the bed watching her crawling across the room with her strap on shoved so far down her throat that she is gagging and drooling on it. Then kneeling beside me and licking up the lube from the bowl she uses her tongue to fill my ass with slippery lube and when I command her she stands and puts on her strap on. She fucks me EXACTLY how I desire, whether than is me moving myself at whatever pace pleases me or my laying there so I don't have to work while she sweats away fucking me for my pleasure. AFTER I cum she greedily cleans that dildo with her mouth for my viewing pleasure, showing me how badly she wants to taste my ass.

Yeah, it might just go something like that and anyone who can see my submission in there just aught to start saving some money so they can go and buy a frigging clue. Being dominant is about doing what other people think you should do, it is about doing EXACTLY whatever the fuck it is YOU want to do, and finding someone who either longs to do the very same thing or whom you inspire to do it anyway.



lovingpet -> RE: This is truly a first for me.... (4/2/2010 8:04:01 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: leadership527

quote:

ORIGINAL: lovingpet
I am with Holly on this one.  He just likes it.  Last I checked, we were there to please the dominant.  If he enjoys it, then you are serving him by doing it.  There are no submissive or dominant acts.  Thinking makes it so.  Regardless, if this is something that you simply cannot do for him, then it is time to discuss it and make some decisions.  Good luck!
I'm afraid, Pet, that you are arguing with the combined wisdom of hundreds, maybe thousands of collarme threads. In the threads there is an entire laundry list of undomly acts -- the mere thought of which instantly causes any dom to lose all domly mojo. Just off the top of my head from recent memory...

- giving backrubs
- giving footrubs
- receiving anal penetration (god knows how many times now)
- giving oral sex
- worshipping your submissive
- worshipping her feet

And I'm certain I've missed a few more. Nobody's actually commented on it, but I occasionally kneel to Carol and that's just gotta be on the list too. I'm sure I would read all about this stuff if I'd actually done anything more than look at the pictures in my Dom's Handbook, revised, 4th edition.


I apologize as profusely as possible for saying such an audacious and blasphemous thing.  I must have my kink card revoked now.  I have shamed myself.  [:o]

*giggles*

lovingpet



takemeforyourown -> RE: This is truly a first for me.... (4/2/2010 8:06:45 PM)

I have had a Dom request that of me, theoretically. At first I thought he was kidding, but I realized that it was a request for something that he thought would bring him pleasure. I was able to imagine myself giving him pleasure more easily than imagine myself 'domming' him.



blueeyedbbwsub -> RE: This is truly a first for me.... (4/2/2010 8:31:02 PM)

OK, I really get it. I'm not who I thought I am, I made an assumption that was my bad. I don't have a handbook, a manual, a written it's step a) b) c). I made a total and complete ass of myself. I'm don't have the experiences many of you do, I haven't earned my stripes or become part of any "in group", clique, made very few friends. I don't always come across in the most cohesive manner, I called someone "out" and thought he wasn't MY IDEA of the Doms I've dealt with. The Doms I've had r/t with. I'm apparently all in the wrong and have no need to be made to feel as if I'm somehow calling out everyone to point out what has become quite apparent. I'm just a fake for asking an honest question, one which left me baffled. I've made a few sarcastic remarks in posts but never intended to hurt. I was wrong with that too. I'll go back to the other side of the board and stay out of what apparently is not my "domain".

I've received foot rubs, massages, as well as given them. I at no point assumed that the man I was with was not a Dom, He'd established himself as such and was being kind and thoughtful. Not something I have ever had a problem with.

If I could take the question back, rest assured that I would. I did not imply that any of the Doms here were not "domly" enough. Nor that submissives were showing their "inner domme" by doing as was asked of them. Everyone started somewhere, there are many things I've yet to live, many that I have lived.



Daddysredhead -> RE: This is truly a first for me.... (4/2/2010 8:56:30 PM)

I just read all the posts so far, and it didn't seem to me that anyone was jumping on you for the question you asked.  It seemed like you asked a question and your received answers.  Some people may think that certain acts are more suited for a "sub" or a "Dom" until you get behind the "why."

An example:
For me, rimming is a very personal and erotic activity that I love doing for my Master.  There have been a few occasions when He has done it to me.  I have asked my Master why He did it to me since I did to Him as an act of submission.  He told me that He liked the way I responded when He did it.  So, as it was... my act of submission to Him was His act of getting a sexual response from me that turned Him on.  I have rimmed our girl, not out of submission to her, because I top her.  I rimmed her because she became so giddy and turned on that it made me feel very dominant in my role to her because I controlled that reaction coming from her.

Same activity, different people, different intent... all made me swoony.

~ Red ~



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