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What to do with my profile.... - 4/4/2010 2:52:17 PM   
Phoenix73Sir


Posts: 139
Joined: 4/2/2010
From: Northants, UK
Status: offline 		My profile is poor at best.  I am trying to write something that induces intrigue and interest but i seem to have failed.  I am open to suggestions and came here as it is subs and slaves that i am trying to appeal to so who better to ask than the target audience.

Any help or suggestions will be greatly appriciated (and yes, the profile pic is being changed on tuesday but taking suggestions on that too)

Thank you to those of you who take the time to look and comment.
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: What to do with my profile.... - 4/4/2010 2:58:05 PM   
lally2


Posts: 2621
Joined: 4/16/2009
Status: offline 		i know this isnt relevant, i just had to say, you really come through as a total darling

lll go and peek at youre profile now

ok, peeked.  i dont really see anything wrong with what youve put, youre honest and warm and that comes through.  i think that youre 'lives for' Gorean is fishing in a fairly small pond, thats all, and for many, Gorean is a bit of a departure from what they think theyre looking for.

since you 'live for' it you might want to expand on what that means to you and how that might impinge on any relationship since you admit that youve had no previous experience in owning a slave - i just felt, after reading youre profile that you have a slight gap between experience and where you wish a relationship to lead, allowing for the fact that Gorean is clearly going to be a factor. but thats just my thought and not necessarily correct

< Message edited by lally2 -- 4/4/2010 3:07:55 PM >

_____________________________

So all I have to do in order to serve him, is to work out exactly how improbable he is, feed that figure into the finite improbability generator, give him a fresh cup of really hot tea ... and turn him on!

(in reply to Phoenix73Sir)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: What to do with my profile.... - 4/4/2010 3:06:38 PM   
ourmsbetty


Posts: 266
Joined: 9/4/2007
Status: offline 		Not in the least bit submissive but as no one seems to have answered...

1) Be a little more open minded. If I restricted myself to a certain age range I would have missed two of the best people who have ever entered my life.

2) Maybe start with talking about your interests, both vanilla and kinky.

3) Cliches become cliches for a reason, the one I am thinking of here is "show, don't tell". Describe something, a scene, a fantasy, etc that illustrates the type of Dom you are.

4) Most submissives really don't want the daily details of their life planned. They are people and they want at least a little autonomy. Mind you some subs would love that but for some it will really be a turn off. Ask yourself, do you really need to plan every detail? The answer to that will tell you a lot about the type of girl you are looking for.

5) Don't talk about your ex, vanilla or not, it's just tacky.

6) Do talk and be honest about your experience but talk about what you did, what you liked about it and why.

7) Start slower. As you will hear time and again, kinky relationships are just like other relationships in that they are relationships. Yes, state your end goal but don't imply that you are expecting something permanent immediately.  Be willing to put the time in getting to know someone. Less pressure will yield better results.

8) State what your definite ideas of what you want and what you expect from a sub or a slave, don't just say you have them.

9) Be flexible about said ideas, you are new and they are likely to change with experience.

10) Watch the typos.

Hope that helps.

Ms. Betty

(in reply to Phoenix73Sir)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: What to do with my profile.... - 4/4/2010 3:07:44 PM   
ourmsbetty


Posts: 266
Joined: 9/4/2007
Status: offline 		Ok, well no one had answered when I started typing.

Serves me right for being long winded. :)

(in reply to lally2)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: What to do with my profile.... - 4/4/2010 3:08:33 PM   
Phoenix73Sir


Posts: 139
Joined: 4/2/2010
From: Northants, UK
Status: offline 		Well after years of reading and a few hours of practical I am at the stage in my life where i want to jump in and just get on with it, but i want to make sure i do it the right way.  The subs I have been with before I came across completely by accident so I have never really actively tried finding one on-line. I just want to give myself the best chance possible. it is only fair to her aswell.

EDIT: Whoops! Gorean? I didn't even realise I had selected that in any way!!  must change that! lol thanks for the heads up!


< Message edited by Phoenix73Sir -- 4/4/2010 3:10:21 PM >

(in reply to lally2)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: What to do with my profile.... - 4/4/2010 3:21:02 PM   
kanina


Posts: 147
Joined: 11/19/2009
Status: offline 		i would suggest you to start with friendship, a guy who comes to me wanting sex imediatly will be a turn off for me at least...

(in reply to Phoenix73Sir)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: What to do with my profile.... - 4/4/2010 3:33:16 PM   
dreamerdreaming


Posts: 2839
Status: offline 		The interests you list are almost entirely to do with BDSM. WTF? Who are you, really?

Your profile text is no help, either.

You did put up a better picture though, so that's something.

_____________________________

Download SLAVE LOVER. Explicit BDSM porn, with a plot! A love story, on a FemDom planet! http://www.amazon.com/Slave-Lover-Chronicles-Book-ebook/dp/B0031ERBLI/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1261973416&sr=1

(in reply to Phoenix73Sir)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: What to do with my profile.... - 4/4/2010 3:38:56 PM   
Phoenix73Sir


Posts: 139
Joined: 4/2/2010
From: Northants, UK
Status: offline 		A lot of very good points. many things to take into concideration and my list I am intending to reduce as they are still the ones I selected when initially joining the site and didnt realise what those drop-downs acxtually did.

I am going to begin the re-write shortly but will postpone posting it untill i have had a few more opinions on the old one (hell I might just post it in here first to be disected, liquidised and recombobulated first lol)

(in reply to dreamerdreaming)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: What to do with my profile.... - 4/4/2010 3:41:27 PM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		Talking trash about your ex is always a bad thing. It says that if you break up with someone else, she can expect you to call her all kinds of names the next time you're hunting. Smart women avoid this.

And what's with the age limit of only those who presumably are very new? Seeking much younger women gets you looked at askance. Does that mean you are emotionally much younger than your years? Because most people seek a person, not a laundry list. Why aren't you open to meeting someone who is at the same stage of life as you are?

But most of all, there is no sense of you. What are you passionate about? What do you like to do on a Saturday morning? You claim to be looking for 24/7, which means a life partner. And most people spend more time watching tv than having sex. So you had better like the person you're with as a person. In order to do that, they need to know who you are. Your profile gives no impression of you.

Most importantly is that you don't want to be targeting this towards people because if you write a profile that represents someone you aren't, then eventually you will have to lower the mask and they will rightfully feel lied to.


< Message edited by DesFIP -- 4/4/2010 3:47:05 PM >

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!


(in reply to dreamerdreaming)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: What to do with my profile.... - 4/4/2010 3:53:26 PM   
lally2


Posts: 2621
Joined: 4/16/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Phoenix73Sir
.EDIT: Whoops! Gorean? I didn't even realise I had selected that in any way!!  must change that! lol thanks for the heads up!



 you goofball ...lol - well, you might get a few more responses now.

_____________________________

So all I have to do in order to serve him, is to work out exactly how improbable he is, feed that figure into the finite improbability generator, give him a fresh cup of really hot tea ... and turn him on!

(in reply to Phoenix73Sir)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: What to do with my profile.... - 4/4/2010 3:55:19 PM   
Phoenix73Sir


Posts: 139
Joined: 4/2/2010
From: Northants, UK
Status: offline 		the main reason for the age limits is that in the course of my life before this point I have never felt comfortable with an older woman in a relationship (and I have had a few attempts at trying to change my own mind on this) and it could possibly be due to my inexperience. something in me says age=life experience and that if someone has more life experience than me i feel somewhat intimidated.  Also the fact I have alwayts been attracted a great deal more so to younger women ever since I can remember.  I figure, this is my life and my choices so why not have what I want!

Sorry if that sounds defensive but that's just the way I feel. but I do thasnk you for your input I posted expecting critisism both good and bad as it all helps to get where i aim to in the end.

(in reply to DesFIP)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: What to do with my profile.... - 4/4/2010 4:00:55 PM   
ourmsbetty


Posts: 266
Joined: 9/4/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Phoenix73Sir

the main reason for the age limits is that in the course of my life before this point I have never felt comfortable with an older woman in a relationship (and I have had a few attempts at trying to change my own mind on this) and it could possibly be due to my inexperience. something in me says age=life experience and that if someone has more life experience than me i feel somewhat intimidated.  Also the fact I have alwayts been attracted a great deal more so to younger women ever since I can remember.  I figure, this is my life and my choices so why not have what I want!

Sorry if that sounds defensive but that's just the way I feel. but I do thasnk you for your input I posted expecting critisism both good and bad as it all helps to get where i aim to in the end.



Ok, tip from one Dominant to another...

Your biggest asset is always going to be confidence.  Insecurities tend to say that you lack that confidence. They sort of give the impression you don't have a handle on yourself. And if you can't handle yourself how are you going to handle someone else?

(in reply to Phoenix73Sir)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: What to do with my profile.... - 4/4/2010 4:06:47 PM   
Phoenix73Sir


Posts: 139
Joined: 4/2/2010
From: Northants, UK
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ourmsbetty

quote:

ORIGINAL: Phoenix73Sir

the main reason for the age limits is that in the course of my life before this point I have never felt comfortable with an older woman in a relationship (and I have had a few attempts at trying to change my own mind on this) and it could possibly be due to my inexperience. something in me says age=life experience and that if someone has more life experience than me i feel somewhat intimidated.  Also the fact I have alwayts been attracted a great deal more so to younger women ever since I can remember.  I figure, this is my life and my choices so why not have what I want!

Sorry if that sounds defensive but that's just the way I feel. but I do thasnk you for your input I posted expecting critisism both good and bad as it all helps to get where i aim to in the end.



Ok, tip from one Dominant to another...

Your biggest asset is always going to be confidence.  Insecurities tend to say that you lack that confidence. They sort of give the impression you don't have a handle on yourself. And if you can't handle yourself how are you going to handle someone else?



No argument there.  merely a point.  if I know that I am slightly intimidated by an older persons additional life experience why ould I allow myself to be in a position to be intimidated.. I am much more confident with younger people.. all of my friends (with the exception of 2) who are female are also younger than me and I suffer no confidence issue.

Add to that the fact that I like woomen younger than myself.
of cours all i say is open to debate. I am here to learn just as much as to search.

(in reply to ourmsbetty)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: What to do with my profile.... - 4/4/2010 4:47:40 PM   
Phoenix73Sir


Posts: 139
Joined: 4/2/2010
From: Northants, UK
Status: offline 		Wow.. just written version 2 (not yet posted) and it seems I have gone from lack of information to information overload..  Still editing it but I'm now really not sure.

(in reply to Phoenix73Sir)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: What to do with my profile.... - 4/4/2010 8:11:50 PM   
Phoenix73Sir


Posts: 139
Joined: 4/2/2010
From: Northants, UK
Status: offline 		Damn! the edit button dissapeared on my last post and I hate double (or in this case triple) posting. poor forum etiquette FTL.

But thanks to all fo you how have given me feedback and a huge thanks to Lally2 I now have a new profile that i am actually quite proud of and i feel tells enough about me but leaves enough to provide mystique.

Thank you all for the time you have given me. I sincerely appreciate it.

(in reply to Phoenix73Sir)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: What to do with my profile.... - 4/5/2010 1:40:07 AM   
myotherself


Posts: 7157
Joined: 3/9/2006
From: The cold bit of the UK
Status: offline 		just peeked at your profile....I like it!

You come across as being a nice guy who knows what he wants.

If you are your profile, the girl who gets you will be very lucky

_____________________________

There's nowt so queer as folk


(in reply to Phoenix73Sir)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: What to do with my profile.... - 4/5/2010 1:53:37 AM   
dreamerdreaming


Posts: 2839
Status: offline 		Much better.



_____________________________

Download SLAVE LOVER. Explicit BDSM porn, with a plot! A love story, on a FemDom planet! http://www.amazon.com/Slave-Lover-Chronicles-Book-ebook/dp/B0031ERBLI/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1261973416&sr=1

(in reply to Phoenix73Sir)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: What to do with my profile.... - 4/5/2010 1:54:31 AM   
nephandi


Posts: 4470
Joined: 9/23/2005
From: Cold and magickal Norway in a town near Bergen!
Status: offline 		Greetings

I like the profile you have now. It is not to long but not to short either and it get to the point of what you want while at the same time telling us about your vanilla life as well. It is very good. I even like the yellow background. If I was to say anything negative about it it would be that I am not to crazy about the double empty lines between some of the paragraphs, one line do nicely, and if you want to separate between various sections in your profile then just adding a -------------- or something like that I think look better than double empty lines. But that might just be me. Anyway I like your profile. Good luck with it.

I wish you well


_____________________________

Whatever you think you can do or believe you can do, begin it. Action has magic, grace and power in it.--Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

Futon torpedoes, make love not war!--Aswad


(in reply to Phoenix73Sir)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: What to do with my profile.... - 5/13/2010 6:55:56 PM   
kateindenver


Posts: 35
Joined: 8/4/2004
Status: offline 		my name is kate. When writting a profile i try to explain what i seek. i am always honest and speak from the heart. i let them know what i seek and what i need to learn. i never state that stupid line that i am a no limits slave. i relate my experiences and then i ask them questions about their experiences . i always tell then tnat i prefer to tslk on the phone for a while as i can get a better feel as to our likes ect. When i meet for coffee i nmkae it perrfectyly clear that i will not go into their car with tyhem nor do ever play on a first meet. i always like to meet for coffee asnd then go home and email them how i feel our first meet went

(in reply to Phoenix73Sir)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: What to do with my profile.... - 5/13/2010 7:25:29 PM   
WinsomeDefiance


Posts: 6719
Joined: 8/7/2007
Status: offline 		I didn't see the original, so i'm just going to say - looks good to me. You sound like someone I could hang out with and enjoy being around.

As for the age, I understand the point of what the previous poster was getting at, but don't worry too much about having an age preference. I do. I used to get (before I hid my profile) lots of mail from younger guys. I have NO interest in younger guys. You feel the way you do about older women, and that's cool. Nothing wrong in knowing what you want and what works for you.

Happy hunting!

(in reply to kateindenver)
Profile   Post #: 20
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