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Ugly. - 4/4/2010 9:06:39 PM

daveynocollar

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I never make New Years Eve resolutions, I make springtime resolutions since I perceive that as the real beginning of a new year. I resolve to post here once in a while since I read this forum every day but hardly ever posted anything!

Ok, here's my question (and I really couldn't find a related thread). Would it strike you as odd if a sub male approached you with a kink for being called "ugly" and to be told how unattractive he is? Perhaps it's the same dynamic as small penis humiliation, but it seems more personal and flatly direct.

Specific use of the word "ugly" strikes a chord in me. I know I have self esteem & confidence issues, so maybe that's why. It's like throwing out the real hand grenade of verbal humiliation.

I never brought it up since I suspect a dominant females reaction would be some flavor of "oh my that's creepy" or "geez I got a real doormat here...".

thanks!

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RE: Ugly. - 4/4/2010 9:08:32 PM

Toppingfrmbottom

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No, it wouldn't strike me as odd, but it wouldn't interest me. I'm not into putting other people down or calling them names.If I thought someone was ugly I wouldn't be with them, and I understand you can do it just for their fulfillment, but not my cup of tea.

< Message edited by Toppingfrmbottom -- 4/4/2010 9:09:31 PM >

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RE: Ugly. - 4/4/2010 10:03:20 PM

MsKittyBlack

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I wouldn't consider it weird in any way, I would just have a lot of conversation around it first to make sure that this conscious play and that I am not inflicting damage to someone with low self-esteem.

In that case, it is definitely a land mine and I would consider it such. .

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RE: Ugly. - 4/4/2010 10:32:27 PM

OttersSwim

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An "You're ugly" fetish huh? Well, it can't be any worse than my "Your mother dresses you funny." fetish.

Humiliation comes in many forms.

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RE: Ugly. - 4/5/2010 11:25:53 AM

fadedshadow

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i don't think it's unusual but i'd get the opposite reaction of being called "ugly" or other insulting things, i don't like it

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RE: Ugly. - 4/5/2010 11:32:02 AM

MadeiraDarling

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As a humilatrix I'd have tons of fun with that.

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RE: Ugly. - 4/5/2010 5:35:11 PM

AlexandraLynch

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I'd make sure we both had our land mines cleared in that area before starting that dance. But other than that precaution, I don't really worry so much.

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RE: Ugly. - 4/5/2010 6:35:07 PM

Andalusite

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I'm generally not into verbal humiliation, but it could be fun in an overtly role-play scene. I did use "ugly" in one of my examples here: http://www.collarchat.com/fb.asp?m=2797550

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RE: Ugly. - 4/5/2010 6:53:28 PM

daveynocollar

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quote:

ORIGINAL: OttersSwim

"Your mother dresses you funny."

Hey now, that's just taking it too far!

Thanks for the nice replies everyone!

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RE: Ugly. - 4/5/2010 7:04:26 PM

CarrieO

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quote:

ORIGINAL: daveynocollar

Ok, here's my question (and I really couldn't find a related thread). Would it strike you as odd if a sub male approached you with a kink for being called "ugly" and to be told how unattractive he is? Perhaps it's the same dynamic as small penis humiliation, but it seems more personal and flatly direct.

I wouldn't be comfortable doing this. Humiliation in this way isn't something I would enjoy giving (or receiving, seeing as I identify as a switch). I prefer to build a person up instead of tearing them down. Sometimes that building up has involved me speaking the unvarnished truth but I wouldn't do this if it wasn't for a greater good.

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RE: Ugly. - 4/5/2010 7:28:03 PM

PeonForHer

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Toppingfrmbottom

No, it wouldn't strike me as odd, but it wouldn't interest me. I'm not into putting other people down or calling them names.If I thought someone was ugly I wouldn't be with them, and I understand you can do it just for their fulfillment, but not my cup of tea.

That cuts both ways, oddly. I've always found that I become much more sensitive to (occasionally real - but generally imagined) insults or put-downs from partners in a way that I'm not with anyone else. If a partner were to call me 'ugly' I might feel hurt (which may or may not be coupled with a masochistic buzz) - but, there'd be another voice in my head saying, 'If she really thought you were ugly, she wouldn't be with you, would she?'

And . . . the long term effect of such thinking was that a lot of hang-ups I had disappeared. They were swept away by the love of a few good women, you might say.

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