Book Recommendations for a New Sub

Collarspace Discussion Forums

Home Login Search

Book Recommendations for a New Sub

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Submissive >> Book Recommendations for a New Sub

Page: [1]

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

Book Recommendations for a New Sub - 4/9/2010 1:10:40 AM

thelustfulsub

Posts: 16
Joined: 4/5/2010
Status: offline

Hello everyone. I am very new to the BDSM scene and looking to do some research. I've been lurking on the forum for a few days. I was wondering what non-fiction books you think are the best reading material for a new sub. I've seen two titles pop up fairly frequently in threads - The Loving Dominant and Screw the Roses, Send Me the Thorns. I just picked up a copy of The Loving Dominant and am about a third of the way through it. I am really enjoying the author's insight and writing style.

Are there any other books or resources that you feel are good sources of information on the lifestyle?

What is one thing that you wish you had been told when you were just starting?

Thank you for any advice or insight you can share with me.

Profile

Post #: 1

RE: Book Recommendations for a New Sub - 4/9/2010 1:57:26 AM

LadyPact

Posts: 32566
Status: offline

I see we have two things in common. (I was just on the thread Ms Martha started and saw you there.)

Without hesitation, I would recommend "The New Bottoming Book". It has wonderful advice on communication, negotiation, and various elements to the S/m scene that may not be particularly obvious. You are definitely on track with Screw The Roses. Within it's pages, there is definitely something for everyone. I've noticed that The Ethical Slut is often recommended for s types. If you have particular areas of interest, there are also protocol books, leather books, rope books, and darned near anything else you can think of.

I'm so glad to see someone who is interested in books. Welcome to the forums.

_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to thelustfulsub)

Profile

Post #: 2

RE: Book Recommendations for a New Sub - 4/9/2010 5:12:31 AM

DesFIP

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline

Jay Wiseman's books tend to be the safety bibles in how to. Erotic Bondage and S & M 101. If you know what's safe, then you'll know when your top is competent and be able to relax and enjoy the ride.

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!

(in reply to LadyPact)

Profile

Post #: 3

RE: Book Recommendations for a New Sub - 4/9/2010 6:14:52 AM

lucylucy

Posts: 612
Joined: 3/1/2009
Status: offline

I love to read and love to be well informed. I got all sorts of book recommendations when I first started, and honestly, I was disappointed in everything I read. I had unrealistic expectations. I thought that reading a lot about submission would help make me a better submissive. Nope.

Books that did help: books on cooking meat (I was a longtime vegetarian and my Owner eats meat), books on rafting (my Owner is an avid rafter), and some self-help books on getting over being passive aggressive.

_____________________________

“There are those who give with joy, & that joy is their reward.” Gibran / "Those who are willing to be vulnerable move among mysteries." Roethke / "Let the beauty we love be what we do. There are hundreds of ways to kneel & kiss the ground." Rumi

(in reply to DesFIP)

Profile

Post #: 4

RE: Book Recommendations for a New Sub - 4/9/2010 6:50:36 AM

afkarr

Posts: 328
Joined: 1/13/2010
Status: offline

www.leathernroses.com

www.submissiveguide.com

(in reply to lucylucy)

Profile

Post #: 5

RE: Book Recommendations for a New Sub - 4/9/2010 7:36:34 AM

slavekal

Posts: 1486
Joined: 7/20/2004
Status: offline

I wrote a book for submissive males. Some of the advice would be applicable to a woman, but it is really aimed at a male sub demo.

_____________________________

"The Courage to Submit: the submissive male's guide to finding a dominant woman"
http://www.lulu.com/product/paperback/the-courage-to-submit-the-guide-for-the-submissive-male-seeking-a-dominant-woman/5968917

(in reply to afkarr)

Profile

Post #: 6

RE: Book Recommendations for a New Sub - 4/9/2010 7:43:24 AM

Wolf2Bear

Posts: 3204
Joined: 9/6/2009
Status: offline

Another excellent book I recommend is "On The Safge Edge." by Trevor Jacques

< Message edited by Wolf2Bear -- 4/9/2010 7:46:31 AM >

_____________________________

~Resident Sadist Approved~

Take the pain
Take the pleasure
I'm the master of both
Close your eyes, not your mind
Let me into your soul
I'm gonna work it 'til your totally blown

(in reply to thelustfulsub)

Profile

Post #: 7

RE: Book Recommendations for a New Sub - 4/17/2010 1:06:16 AM

thelustfulsub

Posts: 16
Joined: 4/5/2010
Status: offline

Does anyone know anything about "Consensual Sadomasochism: How to Talk About It and How to Do It Safely" by William A. Henkin and Sybil Holiday?

I finished The Loving Dominant and enjoyed it a lot! I loved the author's wit and the book was a breeze to read while still being very informative and interesting.
Since I want to buy books available on the Kindle (I live with family so having BDSM books lying around is probably not a smart move) so I will have to wait on SM 101 and Screw the Roses. I've put in a request for a Kindle version so I'm sure they'll be available in a few weeks when the publisher releases their digital manuscript to Amazon.

In the meantime I will be reading The New Bottoming Book.
Thank you everyone for the suggestions and help!

(in reply to Wolf2Bear)

Profile

Post #: 8

RE: Book Recommendations for a New Sub - 4/21/2010 2:03:24 PM

slavefinder30

Posts: 18
Joined: 11/5/2009
Status: offline

In addition to the many great books listed, I would reccomend an excellent book, written with the NEWBY in mind. It is called How to be Kinky, and the author writes under the name. Morpheus

(in reply to thelustfulsub)

Profile

Post #: 9

RE: Book Recommendations for a New Sub - 4/21/2010 3:15:49 PM

subsfaith

Posts: 297
Joined: 11/21/2006
Status: offline

I recommend The Surrendered Wife by Laura Doyle.

While this is a vanilla book, it gives excellent examples of controlling behaviour that many submissives practice unwittingly.

(in reply to slavefinder30)

Profile

Post #: 10

RE: Book Recommendations for a New Sub - 4/21/2010 5:35:35 PM

bestheadyet

Posts: 266
Joined: 2/3/2010
Status: offline

i read a 70's book.......how to be a good bad girl.
doesn't address the lifestyle but sure explains how to keep your man happy(like a good slut should)

(in reply to subsfaith)

Profile

Post #: 11