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Definition of "wannabe," please?


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Definition of "wannabe," please? - 4/4/2006 1:51:44 PM   
zebra


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May I ask those here a question that may at first glance seem frivolous? I don't mean it to be or seem that way; I'm quite serious.

I've belonged to CM for about a year, I think, and I've read over and over and over that there are too many wannabes on the site. But I'm honestly not sure to whom the term pertains, and I don't want to be one.

In my profile, I say as clearly as I can manage who I am and what I'm seeking. But it seems that somewhere in the interactions I'm having, I must be coming off as someone who is not a dedicated submissive. I admit (and say in my profile) that I'm a seeker, not one with a great deal of knowledge or experience, and I also admit that I don't act submissive with everyone who writes to me. I need to get to know someone before I can honestly act as a sub with him. And I inhabit this odd little niche, where I have a little girl inside who is looking for a daddy; a real daddy-type, not a role-play or daddy-incest type.

So, my questions: How does someone who is sincerely seeking but doesn't have all the answers *not* act like a wannabe? What are the traits of a wannabe?

I appreciate any insights.

zebra
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RE: Definition of "wannabe," please? - 4/4/2006 1:55:50 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


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Usually it means "person I think is a total dork loser who is trying too hard to be something he's not."

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RE: Definition of "wannabe," please? - 4/4/2006 1:57:11 PM   
mnottertail


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People who don't match fantasy expectations for the most part.  This is not something that needs losing sleep over.

LOL,
Ron (read my profile, it is the perfect definition of a wannabe!!!!!!!!!!!)

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RE: Definition of "wannabe," please? - 4/4/2006 1:57:11 PM   
Evanesce


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quote:

So, my questions: How does someone who is sincerely seeking but doesn't have all the answers *not* act like a wannabe? What are the traits of a wannabe?


A wannabe is someone who knows enough of the lingo to be dangerous, but couldn't ever walk the walk if his/her life depended on it - no matter HOW long they claim to have been "in the lifestyle," because their relationship skills are completely non-existent.
 
Someone who is sincerely seeking answers in an effort to learn who they are and where they fit in the BDSM spectrum is what I would call a "gonnabe."  They've not quite got it all figured out for themselves yet, but they will, eventually.

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Give a slave what he truly needs, and he will do what you want.

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RE: Definition of "wannabe," please? - 4/4/2006 2:52:27 PM   
Ceyx


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Just my opinion, but "wannabe" (as in "wannabe submissive") seems the linguistic opposite of "true" (as in "true dominant", etc.)  For the most part, they're terms used to lend an unearned air of objectivity to a largely subjective view; what I personally understand as dominance becomes "true dominance," what I dislike in the bearing or behavior of a submissive becomes "wannabe submission," etc.

I wouldn't worry too much about it.  What you feel is what you feel; if and when you find the person or people with whom you click, then the relationship you share will be perfectly real for you. 

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RE: Definition of "wannabe," please? - 4/4/2006 2:58:03 PM   
fastlane


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Zebra don't worry about it as you do not impress me as a wannabe,  unless you wannabe me and then you had better be careful what you wish for.
You sound sincere...good luck and breathe easy,    Kevin

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RE: Definition of "wannabe," please? - 4/4/2006 3:20:55 PM   
BitaTruble


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quote:

So, my questions: How does someone who is sincerely seeking but doesn't have all the answers *not* act like a wannabe? What are the traits of a wannabe?


Well-thought out profile, some added insight into who you are with your journaling. Zebra.. this is just the opinion of someone whom you don't know and based strictly on what you've written to date, but I'd say you have little to worry about. Anyone who views you as a 'wannabe' .. is a 'clueless' wannabe. ;)

Celeste


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Rock, paper, scissors."

He laughed. "You are the wisest woman I know."


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RE: Definition of "wannabe," please? - 4/4/2006 3:28:03 PM   
slavejali


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I'm a wannabe, I wannabe lotsa things.

I wannabe kind
I wannabe a good slave for Master
I wannabe a good influence on the people around me.
I wannabe open-minded.
I wannabe lotsa things.

Like Bruce Lee says though, " Knowing is not enough we must apply, willing is not enough we must do"

I wannabe living up to that

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RE: Definition of "wannabe," please? - 4/4/2006 3:55:36 PM   
KnightofMists


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oh jali  think Positive!!!!

You "Gonnabe" kind
You "Gonnabe" a good slave for Master
You "Gonnabe' a good inlfuence on the peopel around you
You "Gonnabe" open-minded
You "Gonnabe" having lotsa things

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An Optimal relationship is achieved when the individuals do what is best for themselves and their relationship.

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RE: Definition of "wannabe," please? - 4/4/2006 4:02:07 PM   
fastlane


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Damn K of M
I shouldabe kind
I shouldabe a good Master
I shouldabe a good influence ont people around me

Hell, i shouldabe a lot of things.....but I gotsabeME!

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Just because it hurts, doesn't necessarily make it a bad thing.

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RE: Definition of "wannabe," please? - 4/4/2006 4:11:12 PM   
slavejali


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hehe...i wannabe making this post longer but just wannabe expressing a giggle.

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Freedom in Bondage

Different Strokes for Different Folks

"I'll always have a *soft spot* for Sadists"

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RE: Definition of "wannabe," please? - 4/4/2006 4:15:09 PM   
windchymes


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Remember in pre-school, when a little kid gets angry at another little kid because things don't go the way he/she thinks they should?  He gets so frustrated inside, stomps his little feet, and finally explodes with something along the lines of "You Poopy Head!"

"Wannabe" is just the grown-up (sort of) BDSM community version of "Poopy Head".

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RE: Definition of "wannabe," please? - 4/4/2006 4:17:01 PM   
BitaTruble


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quote:

ORIGINAL: slavejali

I'm a wannabe, I wannabe lotsa things.

I wannabe kind
I wannabe a good slave for Master
I wannabe a good influence on the people around me.
I wannabe open-minded.
I wannabe lotsa things.

Like Bruce Lee says though, " Knowing is not enough we must apply, willing is not enough we must do"

I wannabe living up to that



I think there's 'wannabe', 'can be' and 'is'. From what I've read.. you are kind, your Master speaks quite highly of you and seems to think you are a good slave to him, you are a good influence ::and I have personal knowledge of that!:: , you are open-minded, you are a lot of things. I'm not buying your wannabe act. ::kiss, kiss::

::chuckles::

Celeste


_____________________________

"Oh, so it's just like
Rock, paper, scissors."

He laughed. "You are the wisest woman I know."


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RE: Definition of "wannabe," please? - 4/4/2006 4:29:47 PM   
slavejali


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damn foiled again *grin*

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Freedom in Bondage

Different Strokes for Different Folks

"I'll always have a *soft spot* for Sadists"

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RE: Definition of "wannabe," please? - 4/4/2006 4:53:09 PM   
LordKhensu


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quote:

"Wannabe" is just the grown-up (sort of) BDSM community version of "Poopy Head".
                                                                                                              windchymes


LOL That is so funny!!!!!!!!!!


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It is just when you feel you know it all that you discover how little you really do!

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RE: Definition of "wannabe," please? - 4/4/2006 5:45:27 PM   
Level


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Evanesce

[Someone who is sincerely seeking answers in an effort to learn who they are and where they fit in the BDSM spectrum is what I would call a "gonnabe."  They've not quite got it all figured out for themselves yet, but they will, eventually.


That's quite good!

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RE: Definition of "wannabe," please? - 4/4/2006 5:52:48 PM   
PookBaccus


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Greetings unto you,
A Wannabe is a term for a sub sect of people who have a overwhelming urge and mental neccessity to be what some might refer to as handicapped. It often involves amputation of parts of the body.

Mentally there self imagery has a loathing for certain digits or limbs. It can be as moderate as an offensive pinky toe last nail joint to a leg or an arm.

Misfiring of neurons paths / low blood flow in an area of the right hemisphere of the brain (whos name escapes ME.) are suspected causes to the change or malform self imagery.

It is not a recomended practice to mutilate or amputate portions of oneself.

The situation you are refering to sounds more like people are judging and labeling you before they get to know you.  I'll take this opportunity to be shallow, condescending, and judgemental by refering to them as superior~wannabee's.


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RE: Definition of "wannabe," please? - 4/4/2006 5:58:16 PM   
zebra


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Thanks very much, everyone. These answers are terrific. I'll just hang in there and see if the "click" happens. Hope so.

zebra, gratefully

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RE: Definition of "wannabe," please? - 4/4/2006 6:01:07 PM   
zebra


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I love your profile and have enjoyed your posts here. Wish I could snag the exta points for knowing what that quote means.

Thank you for the reply.

(in reply to mnottertail)
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RE: Definition of "wannabe," please? - 4/4/2006 6:27:54 PM   
OneNeverMet


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Who recalls Carlin? "Everyone who drives slower than me is a moron, and everyone who drives faster than me is a maniac." In this lifestyle, do we often make disparaging judgements like "he's a wannabe" simply because someone's desires are not sufficiently similar to ours? Doesn't the rest of the world dismiss this lifestyle with disparaging terms for the same reason? 

(in reply to zebra)
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