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Andalusite -> RE: "Lives for, loves, likes..." (4/20/2010 8:19:13 AM)
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As DesFIP brought up, I'm mostly into the other person's reactions, on either side of the whip, although there are a few specific activities that I generally love, or are on my list of "concerns/boundaries." I generally think of golden showers as kind of icky and not something I want to think about during play, but as long as they weren't doing it on my face or in any orifices, or expecting me to do so to them, I think it would be silly to make it a hard limit. People are washable.[:D] I haven't really explored pony or puppy play much, but I'd be open to them. It doesn't need to involve wearing a tail butt plug or eating fake dog food, maybe he'd be fine with just playing fetch and barking and him swatting me with a rolled-up newspaper, or going through different gaits and nickering and being fed a slice of apple as a pony. When I do kitty play, I rarely wear ears or makeup, though I have once or twice. Usually I just pounce on him, play with his shoelaces, swat at flogger strands, and stuff like that - acting in feline ways.
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ORIGINAL: LadyAngelika
I'm one of those pesky dominants that hasn't filled that section out. ;-)
Why? Well because I don't define myself by my kink. And I don't want a potential partner to assess me based on this either.
I not only didn't put up a checklist, I mostly refused to go into detail at all online. Until I've met the person and seen if we have at least some degree of compatibility, I figured my sexual and BDSM inclinations and experience were none of their business. I felt that going into a lot of detail really opened the door for the ones who were into cyber-sex/online D/s, which I wasn't interested in at all.
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ORIGINAL: OrpheusAgonistes
That's because when I see a list like that, my reaction to most options is "Well, that depends on...." My assumption is that other people probably had similar reactions, so I'm more inclined to reserve judgment on compatibility until I've at least interacted with someone on some level.
I generally assume that almost any toy or technique could be used in a way I'll love or I'll hate. I've been surprised before by how much I enjoyed something new that I was a little nervous about (on the bottom side), and on the Dominant or Top side, I am mostly into my partner writhe around and moan and squeal and yelp and flinch, rather than *how* I make them do that. [:D] Like you, I sometimes used their checklist to rule people out, on either the Dominant or submissive side (ie. no toilet slaves). If they listed humiliation as a major interest, on either side, I clarified with them what *they* considered to be humiliation. Some forms I can work with, or in some circumstances, but it generally leaves me cold. It's not a hard limit, but it was frequently an indication of a mismatch in headspace. If someone felt that my kneeling and giving a blow job or getting spanked was supposed to be humiliating to me, they'd probably be disappointed, and I'm generally not much into verbal insults outside of explicit roleplay. It's not a hard limit, but getting called a "slut" or "fuckmeat" or calling someone else that just doesn't make me hot. So, if it was important to them, and especially if they wanted a particular reaction to it, our playstyles and attitudes about D/s and BDSM were a mismatch.
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