RE: How common are subs?

RE: How common are subs? (Full Version)

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SassySarijane -> RE: How common are subs? (4/27/2010 12:12:11 PM)
After a challenge like that I'm thinking being there to see the live show and having the uncut dvd for the memories would be even better ~evil grin~

Wolf2Bear -> RE: How common are subs? (4/27/2010 12:14:13 PM)
I am so glad you said that Sari...oh did I forget to mention that I will be offering you to RS ? Ooops silly me!

SassySarijane -> RE: How common are subs? (4/27/2010 12:20:32 PM)
You know, Bear, you are starting to bring out my sadistic side...

VaguelyCurious -> RE: How common are subs? (4/27/2010 1:10:53 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: afkarr Find a friendly kinky cougar to show you the ropes...then find a nice freak your own age, say, when you are about 30. Out of interest, would you give the same advice if the OP was female?

dragon200070 -> RE: How common are subs? (4/27/2010 1:14:32 PM)
Be careful labelling yourself a sadist. Few will understand. Find a local group/munch and meet kinky people there. Much safer. If you find a girl you like, and she seems really subby, try being a bit aggressive and see if she's responsive. Jeff

Toppingfrmbottom -> RE: How common are subs? (4/27/2010 4:05:10 PM)
I am to assertive too. With the right person, that might of been ok however. Yes, life certainly can change you and show you different parts of yourself. quote: ORIGINAL: Phoenixpower I was 27....and personal changes within my life lead me down that path of the way...whilst I always had some aspects of it until then I was far too assertive to ever let a guy be in charge....however...at times life can change you and you discover yourself in different ways.

Toppingfrmbottom -> RE: How common are subs? (4/27/2010 4:08:52 PM)
Ironically I wasn't wild at 18. I was never really very wild, except for a stretch of time where I acted out and acted a fool and did dangerous things because my environment at the time allowed for very little freedom, so I did the wild and stupid things because I was lashing out at being in a group home. That was when I was a minor and being in the group home wasn't for poor behavior before any one asks, I reported my family for abusing me and I was taken away and put strait into a group home and didn't come out till I was 18. After getting out, and going back to a regular life where I was free to do as I liked, I wasn't to wild as much. quote: ORIGINAL: lally2 at 18 youre far too selfish, busy being free spirited and wild, thats the time to be those things. doesnt make for a good submissive.

reynardfox -> RE: How common are subs? (4/27/2010 4:14:46 PM)
What the hell are you going on about high school girls for? What level of experience have you had that makes you think you have anything to offer in any case? You need to read a few books, attend a workshop or two, visit a munch and grow up.If you are going to do it, then learn to do it properly. People are born vanilla, submissive, dominant whatever, they don't become what they are, they learn to understand what they are. You need to read more, a lot more

afkarr -> RE: How common are subs? (4/27/2010 5:42:37 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: VaguelyCurious quote: ORIGINAL: afkarr Find a friendly kinky cougar to show you the ropes...then find a nice freak your own age, say, when you are about 30. Out of interest, would you give the same advice if the OP was female? If the OP was a female dominant, yes. A rookie submissive of any age- well that is somethig to be approached with caution. Generally ( and I do mean GENERALLY, yes, I'm well aware there are perfectly civilized Doms who truely are considerate of submissives, especially young/new ones, etc etc etc etc), but generally, far more predators hide behind the self appointed title of "Master" than "slave", and so young/new submissives need to be a bit more cautious about who they turn to for advice. Just my [sm=2cents.gif], but you did ask.

afkarr -> RE: How common are subs? (4/27/2010 5:45:49 PM)
"I'm not even close to being a regular18 year old. Last summer, I used drugs daily because I was so lonely and needed something to distract me from the pain. It is not the actual sex I crave. I could just masturbate. As a kid (until I hit puberty), I had a very tight bond with my mom. I don't know why my dad knowingly lets her continue smoking and eating a bad diet. I had no power over her, and couldn't even do what's good for her. I now crave a tight bond with another female probably because of the once, very tight bond with my mom. However, this time, I need a female that will do anything I ask of. " Kiddo, you're more regular than you realize. Sans the drugs, maybe. It sounds like you have more going on than some kinky leanings. Work out whatever the deal is with the mommy-bond first. Transferring your feelings about that situation onto someone else isn't healthy or helpful for anybody.

thishereboi -> RE: How common are subs? (4/27/2010 6:26:13 PM)
I know you will not like hearing this, but you don't need a sub, you need a therapist. Hopefully someone close to you will see this before you hurt yourself or some innocent girl. I'm not saying this to be mean, but everything about your post screams help. Seriously, you should think about that.

lally2 -> RE: How common are subs? (4/27/2010 6:28:24 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: ParanoidSadist ]Self-Identified simply means a girl knows too much to be a perfect mate. no, what it means is that you are intimidated by girls who know what they want. Most girls call me "weird" but a girl has a crush on me, which is strange. I present features such as fast walking and looking somewhat mad all the time. People say I'm their friend but I say nobody is my friend. The girl is cute and slightly shorter than me, which is perfect. The girl lives within a mile of my house in an unpopulated town, which is perfect because I like walking. youre starting to sound like a stalker. I would like you to write about your experiences with this this guy you are talking about. I am not yet sure how naturally I should act. It's a gamble. If I filter too much, I might not enjoy her. If I filter too little, she might not enjoy me. and call the freaking cops. how would youre mom cope with finding out her son is a stalker and has been forcing a girl to do things she doesnt want and are largely misunderstood in the general sweep of society. seriously, get a grip. what you might want right now is fine and fair enough, but dont go after a girl just because YOU have urges that YOU want to realise. its wrong. being a dominant is all about being natural, its all about being who you are, being open, honest, trust worthy. someone the submissive can trust with her emotional and physical well being. all that you have said in the entire post, though ive only picked this bit out, sounds like you have not got the slightest iota of an idea what it is to be a responsible mature adult approaching a responsible mature relationship with another sentient human being with emotions, needs and rights just like you. the guy i was in a relationship with back then was almost ten years older than me. hed had other relationships before me. ive no idea if they were Ds, probably. what he did wrong was in not explaining to me what the relationship entailed. he was insensitive to my confusion, cavalier with my life, irresponsible with my emotional health and saw nothing wrong in attempting to separate me from the world. he tried to make me completely dependent upon him for everything. he did things i didnt understand, he beat me for things i didnt deserve to be beaten for. he alienated my family, got me fired from my job and did such a good fucking job on me that when i did finally get away from him it took me years to recover. he stalked me for months afterwards. it was some years later when i read this on the net that the penny dropped and i recognised that what he had been doing was Ds. i remember walking through knightsbridge once, close to where his family lived, i though i heard him shout out to me and i ran, i just ran in blind panic. turned out it was a friend who was shocked to see me run in such evident fear. it was not sane and it was not concensual. when i went to the police for an injunction they told me id have to go to court and i just couldnt face that. it was my landlord and other residents living in the block who basically protected me from him by refusing to let him get in the building. you talk of filtering, what the fuck is that - you need to get a firm grip and stop seeing girls as some sort of vehicle to satisfying youre frustrated urges.

ParanoidSadist -> RE: How common are subs? (4/27/2010 6:54:44 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: afkarr Kiddo, you're more regular than you realize. Sans the drugs, maybe. It sounds like you have more going on than some kinky leanings. Work out whatever the deal is with the mommy-bond first. Transferring your feelings about that situation onto someone else isn't healthy or helpful for anybody. Love is a type of drug that only binds to my receptors if the molecule contains submission. Generic love was once able to bind to my receptors. My receptors changed when I hit puberty. The love molecule must now contain a branch known as submission. I am not transferring my feelings. I learned not to bring back memories a long time ago. But my desire for love keeps coming back every summer. I drank a lot of coffee to counter my loneliness. It did work, but I'll never do a drug again. Except drugs for anesthesia. Alright I'm done chatting with you people. Lally2, she knows where I live as well. I will aim for the cute girl that likes me that lives nearby and see how it goes.

DesFIP -> RE: How common are subs? (4/27/2010 6:59:18 PM)
If you aren't going to admit out loud that you are a sadist, then you will be guilty of lying. If you don't have the courage to admit it, then you aren't ready for a relationship in which s & m will be a part. Are there self identified 18 year old submissives? Certainly. Should they be foolish enough to submit totally to an 18 year old who doesn't have his shit together and plans to lie to her? Hell no. Was I submissive at 18? Looking back, yes. Was there a boy of that age who could be trusted with control of me? Hell no. You want control, you earn it by making good decisions. You make good decisions by learning from your bad ones. Since you have zero experience with relationships, you have admitted you don't know enough to make good decisions. And wanting a sub because you miss having a good relationship with your mother? Not fair to do that to a girl.

Toppingfrmbottom -> RE: How common are subs? (4/27/2010 9:26:00 PM)
The more ya open your mouth, the more you sound like someone I would never come 100 feet of PS. You just keep digging that I am weird and have issues hole deeper an deeper with every post.

Andalusite -> RE: How common are subs? (4/27/2010 9:58:06 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: afkarr quote: ORIGINAL: VaguelyCurious quote: ORIGINAL: afkarr Find a friendly kinky cougar to show you the ropes...then find a nice freak your own age, say, when you are about 30. Out of interest, would you give the same advice if the OP was female? If the OP was a female dominant, yes. A rookie submissive of any age- well that is somethig to be approached with caution. I think that's pretty unrealistic, though. There are some exceptions, but most 18-21 people aren't interested in people who are in their 30's or above. Maturity varies based on the individual person. I don't think ParanoidSadist is mature enough to date anybody, whether vanilla or kinky. On the other hand, my former submissive and I met when we were 18, started dating when we were 20, and were together for 5 years. He approached me, rather than my using a self-proclaimed title, and we'd spent a couple of hours a day 4 days a week hanging out with our group of friends before we started dating. I wasn't a predator, and he wasn't immature or irresponsible. I wanted a boyfriend to explore with at the time, and wouldn't have been interested in casual play, though I've experimented with it a bit since then. Since he and I parted ways, I haven't had any vanilla relationships, and didn't want one. I was fine with open-minded vanillas who were open to trying things, or kinky guys who had only fantasised about it, but I wanted at least one of us to get tied up and thwacked! D/s was optional - if we connected that way, fantastic, but it wasn't necessary for a good relationship. I see so many people here who are older, and hoping for a kinky relationship. Many of them are already married or in a serious relationship, and trying to find a way to work with their partner to get their needs met, or just cheat on them. Others dumped their partner in order to go looking. Is that really the better path in your opinion, than finding out what they need and looking for it as one of their relationship criteria all along? For that matter, someone who is older and attracted to a younger submissive can still have their heart broken, if they are looking for a relationship rather than a plaything.

lally2 -> RE: How common are subs? (4/28/2010 12:30:24 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: ParanoidSadist .Alright I'm done chatting with you people. Lally2, she knows where I live as well. I will aim for the cute girl that likes me that lives nearby and see how it goes. incase you come back - just please use the brain you appear to have. think about how relationships work, any sort of relationship has to be based on respect and trust for both people. you do need to tell her how a relationship works for you, but dont rush in with that, tell her in a way that she can compute. above all else, she has to give you her consent if theres no consent then it is abuse. if she says no then its no and you walk away.

GreedyTop -> RE: How common are subs? (4/28/2010 12:46:00 AM)
armchair analysis: the OP either needs to get some professional counseling, or to quit doin a wind up. Seriously., I have no doubt that there ARE 18 yr olds that self identify as dom/sub/switch/sadist/maso/whatever the hell... but there are far too many things going on in the OPs posts that scream (to me) either serious wind up,. or a teen that needs to speak (at the very least) to the high school counselor

VaguelyCurious -> RE: How common are subs? (4/28/2010 1:54:33 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: afkarr quote: ORIGINAL: VaguelyCurious quote: ORIGINAL: afkarr Find a friendly kinky cougar to show you the ropes...then find a nice freak your own age, say, when you are about 30. Out of interest, would you give the same advice if the OP was female? If the OP was a female dominant, yes. A rookie submissive of any age- well that is somethig to be approached with caution. Generally ( and I do mean GENERALLY, yes, I'm well aware there are perfectly civilized Doms who truely are considerate of submissives, especially young/new ones, etc etc etc etc), but generally, far more predators hide behind the self appointed title of "Master" than "slave", and so young/new submissives need to be a bit more cautious about who they turn to for advice. Just my [sm=2cents.gif], but you did ask. That makes sense-thank you for explaining :-) OP: I'm not much older than you, I'm not far out of high school. Let me tell you, D/s will not solve all of life's problems. If you're lonely and you're doped up as a result, or you're angry with your mum, or whatever other things are driving you, D/s is not gonna help. Relationships are hard-they take from you as well as giving to you, and IME D/s seems to be even more intense than vanilla in that regard. If you're already feeling low you might end up making things worse, and you'd be dragging another person with you.

OsideGirl -> RE: How common are subs? (4/29/2010 6:30:08 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: ParanoidSadist quote: ORIGINAL: Toppingfrmbottom In highschool, I doubt there's very many, and no if a girl likes you it don't automatically mean she'll act submissive to you. Isn't a submissive personality something that starts at childhood? I still have no idea how common they are. I have an alpha personality and yet, I'm a submissive. Submissive personality doesn't mean they're going to end up being a submissive.

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