stella41b
Posts: 4258
Joined: 10/16/2007
From: SW London (UK)
Status: offline
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Yesterday afternoon I went out with a camcorder to some streets in Central London hoping to do a documentary film on homeless people. I found a few homeless guys hanging around a street near Covent Garden. I started talking to them and explained what I wanted to do. They were waiting for a handout, a guy who turns up with sandwiches. I put my camcorder back in my bag, thinking it might be better to wait until the man turned up.
Unfortunately for some reason the man didn't turn up. Across the street I noticed a sandwich shop which was starting to close up, so I asked the guys to wait and I went to the sandwich shop and asked to see the manager. I explained that across the street were about twenty homeless people who had been waiting for a handout but apparently the guy who was to come with the sandwiches didn't turn up. The manager took a bin liner and filled it with unsold sandwiches and gave it to me.
I went back to the homeless guys and started handing out the sandwiches. A few minutes later a man and a woman from the shop arrived carrying a couple of cardboard boxes which contained paper cups containing tea and coffee. They brought milk and sugar and started handing out cups of coffee and tea to the homeless.
I didn't get any video footage as I decided not to try. These people were hungry and I decided to settle for the success of getting them sandwiches and tea and coffee. When everyone had been given sandwiches and something to drink I thanked the man and the woman from the sandwich shop who left as they wanted to finish up closing and get home. I then decided to go off and take some photos myself and leave the video for another time.
I come back to the message boards here on Collarme and find this thread started by a guy in his 50's who's married but looking for a 'discreet' encounter with a female dominant going on about middle-aged women on CM and what they are looking for.
This is yet another thread which follows a pattern of someone who has unfulfilled needs of their own (and I'm not making any judgment here) who is making judgments and assumptions of other people on CM and either whining or complaining about the fact that they are expressing such needs or preferences. It would appear that the objective of the thread is to get other people to join in the whining and complaining about these other people.
Yesterday while I was giving out sandwiches and talking with the homeless guys I heard a lot about what these homeless people thought about other people, I heard about other places in London where people were handing out sandwiches and stuff and about what other people are doing, and not doing. Here too the OP is focussing on what other people are doing or not doing and sharing his perspectives and perceptions on this.
However this is only part of the story and in listening to what was being said I also noticed what was not being said. I spent about an hour, maybe a bit more in conversation in both English and Polish with the homeless, in addition to opinions about what other people were doing - if it wasn't apparent anyway - I also heard quite a bit about what these people need, want and expect.
One homeless man, in his 60's was the only one to offer me an insight into what he did and didn't do and how that led to him being homeless. None of the other homeless appeared to be willing to talk about this, there was no looking inward, no personal reflection, and I wonder whether the OP has perhaps looked at himself and what he has done or not done and how that has contributed to his own personal situation.
Yes some people have unrealistic expectations, and yes, I would agree with the OP that some of these people are middle-aged dominant women with profiles on CM.
But I also feel that many things don't happen and we don't get certain things in life not because of other people, but also because of our own unrealistic expectations. Some people are poorer than they think they are as a result.
I also feel that rather than complain about other people's unrealistic expectations it's much easier and simpler to look at one's own expectations, determine whether they are also unrealistic and if they are, work at changing and modifying them until they become more realistic.
This I believe is usually the path towards a solution and getting those expectations fulfilled. Complaining and whining about the expectations of other people with whom you don't have any contact to me is a waste of time and energy and rarely if ever leads to a solution.
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